We Answered the “Elope or Don’t” Question with a Private Ceremony and $10K Taco Truck Reception


With a little left over for some fancy wedding night glamping

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Jessica, Degree Facilitator & James, PhD student and Lecturer 

One sentence sum-up of the wedding vibe: We went from an intimate weeknight beach ceremony to a casual DIY reception with our friends and family.

Planned Budget: NZ $10,000 (US $7,554)
Actual Budget: NZ $14,000 (US $10,575)
Number of Guests: Invited—74, Attended—66

Where we allocated the most funds

We spent the most (almost a third of our budget) on photography, followed by the band and taco truck. I really wanted to have professional photos taken, as neither of us is particularly comfortable in front of the camera. We were just going to have speakers and a playlist, but we were in a pub one evening and heard this amazing band playing—just two guys, but so talented! I spent ages trying to track them down, and managed to get a great deal as they were just starting out in weddings. I have a feeling they’d be out of our budget now, though! The taco truck was our other big-ticket item, but was actually very affordable compared to other catering options we looked at.

Where we allocated the least funds

Flowers, cake, and venue hire. All I wanted was a flower crown, but my Gran convinced me to have a bouquet too, which we had made by the same florist who did the flowers for my parents’ wedding! For the tables, James’s mum and Nana grew us a range of herbs, and planted them in pots I spray-painted. They looked effective and doubled as favors for people to take home. My mum, Gran, and I baked and iced the cake to save money, and used family recipes for the fruitcake and rich chocolate cake layers. After researching and visiting a lot of “wedding” venues, we decided to go the DIY route and hired a community hall (that came with tables and chairs) for NZ $350, which was a bargain, but did mean a lot more work.

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What was totally worth it

Our photographers—they were really flexible (and let us split a package between two days), made us feel comfortable, and we were really happy with the photos. The tent—staying in a luxury tent for our first night of marriage was unique, and a really good way to chill out. There was no cell phone reception, and there was an outdoor bath and jar of marshmallows waiting to be toasted by the fire. Making our rings—we went to the workshop not really knowing what to expect, but it was great! It took the whole day, but wasn’t too difficult, and they feel really special and meaningful to wear now. The band—they really created the atmosphere at the reception, and tied the whole event together. The venue—we shopped around a lot for the venue. Even though the one we booked was the cheapest, it actually had all the things we wanted: a large outdoor space, a place for the taco truck, and an indoor area in case of rain. The taco truck—for the price we paid, we got a much better deal than any catering company could offer, and they added to the atmosphere.

What was totally not worth it

Jess: Worrying about people not liking our decisions because they weren’t traditional. I was surprised at how many people had opinions about our wedding, and got really stressed trying to accommodate them all. In the end we compromised where we felt it was worth it, and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.

James: The wedding premium! We looked at lots of venues, and were disappointed at how expensive they were compared to the quality offered. Also, the inflexibility of venues, with restrictions such as wine-only, having to use the venue’s caterers, and poor menu choices. Looking back, I’m glad we didn’t stretch our budget and book one of those venues, as we wouldn’t have had the same experience and I think our reception wouldn’t have been as fun.

A few things that helped us along the way

Jess: This website! Because this was basically a DIY wedding, we used many APW articles to figure out logistics. The most valuable advice I found was for calculating numbers of drinks, timelines for the day(s), spreadsheet setups, and most importantly, the reminder to have a pack-down plan, not just a setup one! I also appreciated seeing weddings with different budgets, including some amazing events on very small budgets, which gave me the belief that maybe we could pull it off (compared to some vendors at a bridal show, who literally scoffed at our budget).

James: Jess’s efforts and organization contributed a lot to the wedding being a success. Being realistic in our planning—for example, not falling in love with one idea or venue and blowing the budget. We had ideas but were OK with letting go of them if they weren’t practical or ended up being too expensive.

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My best practical advice for my planning self

Jess: Trust yourself and your vision. Just because others can’t see it doesn’t mean they won’t like it when it actually happens. While you will be made to feel bad for your small budget, it’s actually a blessing in disguise, because it will force you to be creative, and come up with ideas you never would have thought of if you could have afforded an all-inclusive package. Hire some outdoor lights!

James: Work with your partner in the planning. While you might not have the grand vision, you can be a sounding board, offer different perspectives, or be the person she needs to vent to! Don’t get bogged down by tradition; it holds people back from having an enjoyable day—like having both ceremony and reception on one day and feeling exhausted, or having a first dance if you are uncomfortable.

Favorite thing about the wedding

Jess: Lying in the outdoor bathtub on our wedding night, looking up at the stars, knowing we still had another celebration with family and friends to look forward to in two days’ time.

James: The whole thing! I liked the ceremony because it was intimate and a different atmosphere than if there had been eighty other people there. I liked the tent afterwards, having the ability to unwind and talk with Jess about being married before having the reception, and being able to BBQ steak for dinner and wear shorts. For the reception, I liked the casual, relaxed atmosphere; people appreciated the significance of our wedding without it having to be a super formal occasion.

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Anything else

Jess: Find out what the legal requirements are. After I realized rings aren’t part of the legal ceremony in New Zealand, I found a way to make the reception more ceremonial by having us exchange rings there. We passed the rings around and had a ring-warming, which I hope made people feel included in the celebration of marriage.

As much as we wanted to “elope” with just us and photographers, we learned that weddings can’t just be about the couple. Only a month before the wedding (after over a year of planning), James and I had a long talk and decided to compromise and invite our parents to the ceremony. It was really important to them to be present for the actual exchange of vows, and although this changed the dynamic of the day, we think it was the best decision for the dynamic of the family.

I honestly have no idea how couples manage to have both the ceremony and reception on the same day. I feel like we had the best of both worlds because we got to have time alone as a newly married couple and then also have a big party with the ones we love.

James: Don’t listen to other people, listen to your partner. Trust your partner and yourself in terms of what you want from a wedding. If you want formal, go for it; if you want something else, then that’s fine too. People will screw their noses up initially at whatever your plan, but as long as it’s your own plan, you will be happy on the day!

As a groom I felt like I was expected to do nothing, and let the bride organize the whole thing, but I think it was a good experience to help, and enjoyed at least helping where I could even if it wasn’t totally fifty-fifty. I think focusing on the experiences rather than material things was a good call—e.g., making rings, staying in the tent, having a band—instead of spending our budget on things like favors or chairs. Although Jess was a bit embarrassed by them, no one cared about the plastic chairs and we saved a lot of money because they were free with the hall. Finally, having enough good food and booze means people will have a good time!

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The Info:

Photographers: Lauren Indrisie and Delwyn Wood (The Lauren and Delwyn Project) | Location: New Zealand | Venue: Old Flat Bush School Hall | Tent Camping: Wainamu Luxury Tents | Florist: Alison from Bloomsbury Florists | Band: MixtapeBrothers | Dress: Bridal Brilliance (but heavily altered—e.g., sleeves were added) | Suit: Groom’s own

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  • MABie

    I really really really love this wedding!

  • Lawyerette510

    That is one of the top 5 flower crowns I’ve ever seen, and my favorite real life wedding crown ever! This whole thing looks wonderful and joyful and just all around awesome!

    • JessR

      Aww thank you! :)

  • anotherlady

    love hearing the perspective of both partners! it’s so great to hear the male voice on a wedding blog and see how he helped and enjoyed the process, too!

  • so lovely!!

  • Annie

    You had me at “taco truck.” It looks like this was such a fun and lovely wedding

  • Camille

    Love this! Great to hear from both partners, and such useful advice.

    Are the plates used those Leafware biodegradable plates? We’re considering using those for our wedding, how did they hold up?

    • JessR

      Hi! Yes these are the palm plates. They held up really well because (at least the ones we got) they are very thick and sturdy. The taco truck supplied everything for the tacos, so the plates were for the snack table – cheese, crackers, dips etc. However, we used smaller heart shaped palm plate bowls for the icecream dessert and I think they were fine for that too (as the bride I never even saw the dessert table ha ha – the night went by too fast!). We also used bamboo cutlery. Made clean-up at the end of the night a lot more do-able!

  • Eenie

    Do I see cards against humanity cards? I’m curious how you used them.

    • AP

      I was just wondering the same thing.

    • JessR

      Hi! We used them at the tables. In the pic above with the table settings, you can see some cardboard ‘diamond’ shaped things, and they were inside these. Each guest was given 2 or three white cards, and about 5 or 6 black cards, with instructions on the table of how to play. It worked well this way (rather than having the whole stack on the table) because people could choose to play in smaller groups or with the whole table etc. I did spend quite a lot of time carefully choosing which cards went into the favours for which tables though! Not sure some of the older guests would have appreciated some of the cards ha ha!

      • Eenie

        Awesome. It looks like a ton of fun. We’ll see if we end up doing something similar. My friends love it, but for the reasons that it does not get busted out at family gatherings much to my mom’s disappointment (but we love apples to apples, isn’t it the same?).

        Also, loving the flower crown. I think flower crowns are great in theory and hard to pull off in practice. You however, pull it off very well. Not that you needed an internet stranger’s approval :)

  • Rebekah

    Ice cream sundae bar! That looks amazing.
    Also I call hokey that you two are camera shy. You both look so happy and relaxed! Congratulations.

  • ellenvmelon

    I LOVE THIS WEDDING. Congrats! I may be biased being a NZer. But still – it’s very, very cool to see the ‘compromise’ made between an elopement and having all your reception guests at the ceremony (if that makes sense) because I think that’s something that does come up for a lot of people – especially those who don’t like crowds/being the center of attention/having ‘feelings’ in front of lots of people :) and various other reasons. Awesome to see. ALSO the best wedding I’ve been to has had a food truck. Such a smart idea.

    • JessR

      Hi fellow kiwi! Where are you based in NZ?
      Thanks for being supportive – it can be hard wedding planning sometimes when we
      don’t have all the resources US brides have (or at least, we don’t want to pay
      the shipping!). As to your other points – yes, yes and yes!

      • ellenvmelon

        Hi! No worries! I’m in Wellington :) Right?! that shipping though, if they do ship here that is. Eye watering. We have the kiwi ingenuity thing on our side but usually involves DIY which is a skill in itself ;) My partner is all NOPE about the large (and her idea of large isn’t that large haha!) wedding idea (we’re not engaged but we talk about it) so it’s very cool to see where balances have been struck.

        • JessR

          Best of luck to you and your partner :) At least sites like this help with thinking of alternatives – and I have to say, spreading it out over a couple of days was great! Less overwhelming and more time to digest each event. Would recommend that approach to anyone :)

  • Basketcase

    Yay! Kiwi wedding!
    Friends of mine had Lauren and Delwyn do their wedding 6 years ago.
    Honestly, this is the kind of wedding I wanted. Outdoors, simple, us… We compromised so much, partly for each other (he really wanted a church ceremony), partly for his family (who were annoyed at having to travel at all, so we didn’t head to Ruapehu or Castlepoint which were our first location choices).
    You look like you had a lovely time. Which Glamping spot did you pick for your first night? They are totally on my bucket list :)
    So great to hear from your husband too, love his perspective.
    And yay for proving the vendors wrong. They scoffed at our $20k (including rings and honeymoon in Tasmania) budget for 80 guests, but we did it. SOOOO many places with a wedding premium here – a lot of “minimum 100 guests, at $105+/head plus alcohol” places around.

    • JessR

      Ah that’s tough! We did have a lovely time, but that doesn’t mean there weren’t stressful bits too!
      The tents are out at Bethells Beach (West Auckland if you are familiar with the area). The ceremony was supposed to be on the beach but it was so hot that day (Feb this year) and bright that we would’ve been squinting/sweating too much. The photographers helped us quickly find a shady spot that was near the beach carpark! The tents are run by the same couple who own and run the caravan cafe at Bethells Beach – there’s a link above :)

    • Katani Katuni
  • Riot

    New Zealander here, looking at places and I have to echo James’ sentiments – “disappointed at how expensive they were compared to the quality offered”. Ludicrous! Even community halls end up being crazily expensive once you add things up. Adore the way you guys did it your way – you inspire me! Woohoo NZ weddings! :) xxxx

    • JessR

      Thanks :) Are you in Auckland too? Finding a venue was very hard – it took us the longest to find something that would work! Good luck in your search, and maybe consider Flat Bush if you’re near there?

      • Riot

        Hey, we’re actually very near there – Mt Wellington! I will definitely look into it – looks like there is a lovely garden too. Thanks so much for giving me all the deets about the food truck too. Lovely seeing a local wedding. x

  • Riot

    May I ask which food truck you used? Awesome wedding – love the sundae bar (ice cream is my partner in crime’s favourite thing, ever. Even in winter :)

    • JessR

      Hi :) We used Mexikai (http://mexikai.co.nz/), they have a few different party options, and we went for the package with corn chips and salsa to start, and then three tacos per guest. They were pretty good to deal with, and kept a tally on the night so that guests could have second serves if they wanted. The only downer was that there was just one person serving instead of two (I understand someone was sick last minute), and so it took much longer than planned to serve everyone… I guess something has to go wrong at every wedding though! And it could have been much worse!

  • Roanna Donnithorne

    Awesome to see a NZ wedding featured here! Love love love this down to earth celebration ❤️