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This Is the Marriage Advice I Wish I Had Received

reflection of bride and groom

Something you guys might not know about me is that I’m the oldest of five children. In fact, most of my siblings are a good few years younger than me (the youngest are still in high school), which means that when it comes to conversations about love and relationships, I’ve elected myself as a sort of figure of authority and expertise on the subject for them. Mostly against their will, but, you know. Old habits.

Just this past weekend, I was chatting with one of my younger sisters (not still in high school) and the conversation turned to marriage. It was a casual discussion, but before I knew what was happening, I found myself haphazardly spewing marriage advice at her as if somebody’d uncapped a shaken bottle of Pepsi. I just wanted to tell her all the things I’d learned these past few years with the hopes that maybe she’d be able to take my knowledge and before it was too late use it to enter into the institution with a little more grace than I did. (Mom, if you’re reading this, Casey’s not getting married. We were just talking in generalities and I got carried away. What’s new?)

But you know what I quickly realized? It’s nearly impossible to try and give your kid sister marriage advice without sounding like a snobby know-it-all (or that might just be my particular problem, but again with those old habits). But the thing is, whether my sister needs it or not, I feel like there is a ton of marriage advice that I have stored up now that I wish I could go back in time and dole out to twenty-three-year-old Maddie. For example, I wish I’d known that therapy isn’t just for when things are bad. Or that if you have the funds, and if it’s not hiding a deeper issue, sometimes it’s okay to throw money at your problems just to make them go away (which is why we’ll be hiring an accountant for our taxes this year).

There is a ton of crappy marriage advice out there, I’ll admit. And it’s possible I’ve even given some myself. But for this open thread I want to ask you guys: What’s the marriage advice you wish you’d heard?

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