Pizza & Beer

The Good.

Before I get to the good, let me give you the background. After a long February where we told our respective parents that we decided we were getting married, which led to my mother stating she thought our venue looked cheap, our menu was an embarrassment, and that she would not go to the wedding if we served pizza; my friends giving me backwards compliments, or telling me “reservations” they had about us getting married; and another friend stating we weren’t engaged since he didn’t propose and give me a ring. (FYI, he did propose, but I’m keeping that secret, because what did ESB say about shaking that glitter off?), things finally started falling into place.

The Good

After a calm-down session/weekend, I sat with my mom and dad and spoke about what we all envisioned and why my mom felt so strongly. Turns out she wanted better for my wedding than she was able to have. My dad and I had to explain to her that my fiancé and I didn’t care about fancy stuff, we just wanted to be married and to celebrate that with family and friends. The compromise—we decided to minimize the guest list, have a backyard bash with pizza and beer, and she could add whatever food she wanted. I am really happy that we are on the same page and that I get to have her help with this wedding, because trust me I need it. (Oh and my mom and I went dress shopping this past weekend and found a dress!)

The Good

With all the backhanded compliments…there were many friends that came through. People who I thought might be reserved are genuinely happy for us and I’ve had a lot of friends offer to make us bouquets, one thousand paper cranes, decorations for our backyard bash, or help find a DJ or a wedding photographer. I love them, their happiness, and their excitement.

The Good

My fiancé’s sweet sister n law and brother offered to give him their first ring (she already upgraded) to give to me. I have the prettiest ring, recently resized and sitting on my left finger. I don’t need a ring to call him my fiancé, but the fact that his family would be awesome enough to give us such a special thing, means the WORLD to me.

The Good

Oh yeah, did I mention we’re in a long distance relationship. Yeah, we are, and finally he’s moving here in two months and I’ll get him here for a few months before our wedding. I think this out of everything makes me the happiest. Our whole relationship has been long distance and we have been through the hard times and the seeing each other only every two months. I finally get to fall asleep to him Every. Single. Night. And I cannot wait.

That, my friends, is THE GOOD!

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  • Moe

    “I finally get to fall asleep to him Every. Single. Night.”

    That’s not good, that is THE BEST. Congratulations!

    • Eenie

      As much as distance sucks, it makes me appreciate all the little non distancy things so much! Like cooking for each other and sleeping in the same place.

    • AMEN. My husband and I did long distance for three years, and now (three+ years after being in the same place again) I still get happy when I remember that we can totally snuggle up at night.

  • I. Am. So. Fricken. Excited. For. You. !

    You’re wedding sounds super fun (pizza+beer+wedding=fun)

    and yay that your long distance is ending soon! (the first three years of our relationship was long distance and I remember that awesome feeling right before we moved in together)

  • Vicky

    End of long distance!!! My fiance and I have been long distance for 4 years and he’s moving here in one month (about a month before our wedding). There are definitely days when I’m way more excited about that than our wedding (though him finally getting to move to the same city is also tied up in getting married). While the timing of everything and the distance have been challenging, it kicks up the WOOHOO factor to have all this commitment and transition happening at once…my fiance wants At Last as our wedding song even tho I think it’s overdone because it seems so appropriate for how we feel – I wouldn’t be surprised if he shouts finally! after his vows. So here’s to celebrating the GOOD of finally being together!! Best wishes for your wedding.

  • Katy

    “I finally get to fall asleep to him Every. Single. Night. And I cannot wait.

    That, my friends, is THE GOOD!”

    So many congratulations from this fellow long-distancer! Have a fabulous day and an even more fabulous marriage!

  • Seriously, I think pizza is a *perfect* wedding food, and I am excited to be having pizza and beer (along with some wine and sides) at our wedding next year. It is portable, delicious, and almost everyone loves *some* kind of pizza, so if you get enough varieties, you are going to cover most of the bases, especially if it is some really good pizza.

    Plus, it keeps the per person costs low, it is flexible as far as servings go, and the leftovers won’t be a giant pain.

    I’m all for a movement towards pizza and beer as a wedding tradition.

    • Parsley

      Well, we didn’t quite have pizza for the wedding, but we did have a pizza party after the rehearsal, and it was great! Yay pizza for your wedding.

    • Kestrel

      We’re planning on pizza too! (But haven’t brought it up to parents yet. I’m hoping my older sister’s wedding will help them get all of the “but it has to be fancy!” stuff out of the way)

      As far as I know, none of our guests have major dietary restrictions, so pizza is going to be fantastic!

      • The important thing to make it work is to get *good* pizza.

        One thing that excites me about this is it is much easier to accommodate. We are already going to have it all be vegetarian, since my fiance is a vegetarian and veggie pizza is delicious. (And if we don’t make a big deal out of it and it’s all tasty, no one will notice anyway.) The place that will be doing the pizza has a great vegan pizza and a crust that is 99% gluten-free. (Not helpful to anyone who has celiac, but helpful for many.)

        I am going to ask folks to contact us if they have any specific dietary needs/restrictions, but I think a lot will be covered off the bat.

        • ANI

          We are weighing venues for our reception, and one of them is a farm that makes its own pizza on site! Awesome, right? Except for my mom, this somehow is not good enough. Or maybe she is just worried about what folks would say, serving pizza at a wedding, the nerve! We have some time to work through this decision, but I don’t know how to convince her that this would be delicious and everyone who matters would love it.

          • I guess you could have her try the pizza? And/or gently question her to unpack what about pizza wouldn’t be good enough. (emphasis on *gently*)

            If you can get to the root of her feelings, you might be able to help convince her.

          • I would SO MUCH RATHER have some good pizza at a reception than another lump of chicken and rice with plasticky green beans. I definitely had moments with my mom when she didn’t like what we were doing only because “that’s not the way it’s done.” It’s like we talk about so often here, things that would have been fine with her for any other party were not ok because this was a wedding. She didn’t ever come around to approving before the wedding, but I think once it was happening, she saw that people enjoyed themselves and it really still was a wedding, even with low country boil for dinner and no bouquet toss.

  • Kacey

    We were long distance for four years and went from seeing each other every two weeks to every two months six months before the wedding. The majority of the time, I saw our wedding as the event preceding me moving and us being in the same place! It was essentially both our wedding and our going away party and we were ecstatic to leave the wedding knowing we would never have to be 1000 miles apart again! It was glorious.

  • Catherine

    Sounds awesome! So wonderful that you were able to talk with your parents and get to the core issues underneatth the insults and hurt feelings. Pizza and beer in a backyard sound absolutely amazing, espeically since I am starving right now. :) :)

  • Ella

    This is such a great post! We have had same reactions from family (my soon-to-be-mother-in-law not really getting I am not having a bridal bouquet and we are not having portaits) and friends (everybody wants to come to the courthose wedding AND the party, as they are so happy for us).
    It is so comforting to read about your experience and seeing we are not the only ones doing it that way and struggeling with – well – stuff.
    Oh and for the ‘every. single. night.’ – I cut down my business trips. So YAY here, too.

    All the best for pizza and beer! You will have such a great wedding!

  • Laura

    Boo judgy moms, but I’m so glad you were able to work through it and come to a happy compromise!

  • Glad to hear that everything is working out and that you were able to actually sit down with your mom and talk it out. It just makes things so much easier when everyone is excited and happy and isn’t questioning your every decision. Pizza and beer sounds amazing. We’re beer drinkers as well and had a couple of kegs at our wedding. Did anyone care that they were kegs? Not in the slightest. :)

  • Kara E

    Congratulations for focusing on the getting married part of the whole wedding thing! So glad you were able to have an open conversation with your mother. That’s a pretty good thing. Best wishes.

  • Tess

    Congrats on finding “The Good.” I can relate, as my fiance and I met while living abroad, and neither of us have been introduced to all the extended family and friends. It can be hard for people to be excited when they have yet to meet the significant other! Best of luck with everything. Pizza and beer sounds pretty much perfect.

  • Anon original poster

    Thanks everyone! I appreciate the sweet comments! One more month to go then he’s here and countdown to wedding begins!

  • Formal sit down dinner or “formal” sit down buffet = nice enjoyable weddings. Pizza + beer + wedding? COUNT ME IN!!!!! :D (But I don’t drink beer so I’ll happily keep my glass filled with water.)

    Seriously, pizza and beer sounds fantastic! We had a buffet dinner reception of heart shaped and space needle shaped pastas, marinara, meat, and alfredo sauces, grilled chicken, meatballs, garlic bread, salad and fruit trays. Seriously easy stuff that is a great break from the usual “chicken beef or fish” type receptions. (Not that chicken beef or fish receptions are boring but pizza sounds killer to me.) Save me a slice!

  • js

    I think every one should have to do long distance at some point in their relationship. It offers a whole new perspective, strengthens things you didn’t know were broken, and gives you a whole new appreciation for your loved one. At least your Mom had an opinion! While I’m sure it was hard, my Mom and his could have cared less about our wedding. So glad you found The Good.

    • It really does. My relationship *started* long distance for the first year +, before he finally moved to my city. Even while he has been here, he takes frequent, extended trips back home. Right now, his is in the midst of a 6-week visit. We keep in touch via chat, text, and video. I think that being apart and missing each other is helpful. The longing makes us appreciate each other more when we are together again, and it also gives us room to stretch out a bit.

  • Fellow long-distancer here, and my fiance will, if all goes well, be here with me FULL TIME in 4-6 weeks (waiting on finalization of the job offer). We’ve been through an England-America, Abu Dhabi-America and finally a Canada-America distance and have gone from seeing each other every four months to every six weeks or so, and I can 100% say that wedding planning is, like, not even on my radar while I count down the days until we can finally go to sleep together every night. Mos’ def’ THE GOOD.

  • jenn

    I’m so glad your mom came around to pizza at your wedding! We had pizza (and salad) and it was awesome. My mom actually suggested it as a joke, but then we found a place with a portable wood-fired pizza oven and they made pizzas right outside the door. Some people didn’t believe that there was an oven right outside the door until they saw it with their own eyes, but it was super cool and DELICIOUS. Enjoy!! Also, cheers to the end of long distance! hooray.

  • Melodie

    Woo! Totally not feeling weird for wanting a barbecue-style reception. We’re having a family friend smoke a bunch of pulled pork and then probably hiring catering for sandwhiches/sides/beverages while we set up the alcohol!