What Challenges Did You Face While Planning Your Gay Wedding?

And the unique challenges that come with them

When you are planning a wedding, and you are a part of the lesbian/gay/trans/otherwise queer community, the planning has some particular challenges. I know. You’re thinking, “Kelsey, you big hypocrite! Weren’t you just talking about how gay weddings are just the same as straight weddings, and the term ‘gay wedding’ shouldn’t even exist, and so on and so forth?” And yes. I did say that. And I stand by that statement. However, I’m also going to stand by this other statement. There are things about planning an LGBTQ wedding that are different than planning a straight wedding. (Yes. I reserve the right to hold two slightly contradictory viewpoints at once.)

For us, it was me calling the hotel to reserve a room block, and having the saleslady ask me for my groom’s name. (She recovered quickly. I was impressed.) Or people forever asking Julie if her “hubby” is also working out hard before the wedding (answer: no, and no). It’s trying to plan our outfits, without knowing what the other person is wearing, hoping we don’t end up matching. (Worst moment ever to walk into a party and realize another girl is also wearing your dress.) Over here, we’re navigating our challenges by laughing at them (and appointing an outfit captain). But it’s not always quite that easy. Not to mention all the legal issues.

So today, it’s the LGBTQ wedding open thread. Sure, we’re planning a wedding just the same as everyone else. But… it’s not always just the same, to be honest. Let’s chat. What challenges are you facing? What solutions have you (or haven’t you) found thus far? If you’re changing traditional liturgy, or trying to convince your momma that songs that include the word “groom” are not ideal for a two bride processional, bonding over piles of we-can’t-get-legally-married-in-this-state paperwork, or simply waiting to see if your grandmother is going to decide to show up—then this one’s for you.

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