How Do I Handle Being the Only Bridesmaid without a Plus One?

Girls just wanna have fun AND a plus one

pink confetti sign that reads Wedding Advice Two Cents

Q:Can I ask about bringing a plus one? This situation is this: I am a bridesmaid in an upcoming wedding, one of four (including the maid of honor). The other three bridesmaids are married, and all are bringing their husbands. When I got my invitation, my boyfriend was not listed, and I’m the only bridesmaid without a plus one. The bride at one point when we were together even referred to me as “the single one.”

I know that I am not married, but I have been with my boyfriend for four years and we are very serious about the longevity of our relationship. I feel uncomfortable that I am the only one who was not invited to bring a partner, just because we haven’t gotten married yet. Is there any way to ask if he can come, or should I just let it be?

Answer from the Editor:

Etiquette says your boyfriend should have gotten an invite since the two of you are long-term and in a serious relationship. Not only that, but particularly because you’re a bridesmaid.

I mean, if you’re good enough friends with the bride to be a bridesmaid, surely you can be like, “Hey, you know we’re serious right? Is there a reason you didn’t invite him? It makes me feel uncomfortable that I’m the only bridesmaid without a plus one.” But if it’s not that kind of relationship well then… have some drinks, dance a lot, and maybe don’t call the bride again in the morning.

TL;DR: If someone is in a long-term committed relationship, you need to invite their partner. But if your friend is dating someone they met on Tinder last week, you don’t have to invite them.

How do you decide who gets a plus one? Is it OKay to ask for a plus one when the invitations have already been sent?

If you want the APW community’s two cents, send it to QUESTIONS AT APRACTICALWEDDING DOT COM, and we’ll do our best to crowdsource you some answers!

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