Before I was a blogger, I was still a sassy writer who needed an outlet, and I used to belong to a six person, inspired by Television Without Pity, American Idol email group/ snark fest*. One of the best most cutting writers in the group was my friend M.G., who recently started a blog To Each Her Own about living in Texas and planning a gay wedding. Good times, those. Most of the LGBT weddings I’ve featured on this site were weddings that took place in accepting urban communities, but goodness knows that’s not always the case. I think it’s important to remember the ways in which being gay can be hard, so we remember why equal rights are tangibly important. So, today I’m quoting M.G. on just how much fun it really is planning a lesbian wedding in small town Texas:
When we announced our engagement, we were greeted with many congratulations, a few comments I’d like to block from my mind, and a ton of questions. Some were clearly jokes (So are you going to stand in a circle and hold hands?), but when I heard “So, like, are you like, the bride or the groom?” for the tenth time, I realized that maybe explaining a gay wedding was not as easy as I hoped it would be.
Here are the top four questions I’ve gotten that make me want to slap the person who asked it with a bouquet of calla lilies and call them an idiot:
1. So, can you actually do this here?
No, we can’t and thank you oh so much for reminding us. And before you ask– Yes, we were planning on going to California, but… we all know how that turned out.
Who cares though? (We do, but let us pretend we don’t care about our civil rights for a few seconds) We still want a kick ass celebration of our love and a damn good excuse to look pretty and party!
2. Are you both wearing dresses? Cause I mean, you’re kind of butch.
I’m chubby- not butch and there is a difference, but thanks for trying. We are both wearing dresses. It is a personal choice, and many different couples choose different things.
3. So how am I gonna know who is the bride and who is the groom?
Well, seeing as there are two women– there is no groom. I find this is the answer that makes peoples heads explode. They cannot grasp this notion.
4. Are your colors going to be rainbow?
No. And never speak that question again, or I will not be responsible for my actions.
So, go swing by To Each Her Own. Girlfriend needs to chat with some people who will NOT ask her these questions…
*Bragging rights: I absolutely won our very complex American Idol pool that year. The key: always underestimate the American (Idol voting) public.
