From the moment I got engaged, I knew I wanted to say traditional wedding vows. We talk a lot about how to write wedding vows here on APW, but for me, this is a purely hypothetical question. I got married because I wanted to join an institution that had supported my parents and grandparents, in the most wonderful and difficult parts of their lives, and I wanted our marriage vows to reflect the long tradition of marriage.
TRADITIONAL WEDDING VOWS & MARRIAGE VOWS: TILL DEATH DO US PART
As I wrote right after our wedding, “For us, the power came in saying the same words that generations and generations before us had said. By doing so, we were tying ourselves to the strength of an institution that had stood the test of time, had helped people survive great hardships, and had helped them embrace enormous joy.” Since my family is Protestant, and we had a Jewish wedding, I didn’t literally say the same words that my family had said. But I embraced the same spirit and tradition, and that was what mattered to me.
Also in Advice
Often you don’t hear much about how to incorporate traditional marriage vows into your (possibly somewhat nontraditional) wedding. So I’m here to encourage you: you can wear a short spangled cocktail dress while you recite marriage vows that are hundreds of years old (“Till death do us part” and all!). So without further ado, a list of traditional wedding vows, for information and inspiration.
11 traditional wedding vows
United Methodist Church
In the Name of God,
I, Sam, take you, Alex, to be my [wife/husband],
to have and to hold
from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
until we are parted by death.
This is my solemn vow.
From The Book of Common Prayer (Episcopal)
I, Sam, take thee, Alex, to be my wedded [Wife/Husband], to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish, till death us do part, according to God’s holy ordinance; and thereto I plight thee my troth.
With this Ring I thee wed: In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.
Roman Catholic
I, Sam, take you, Alex, to be my [wife/husband],
I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health.
I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.
Alex, take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Unitarian
I, Sam, take you, Alex, to be the wife/husband/partner of my days,
to be the parent of my children, to be the companion of my house.
We will keep together what measure of trouble and sorrow our lives may lay upon us,
and we will share together our store of goodness and plenty and love.
The Protestant Wedding Sourcebook
In the presence of God and before our family and friends,
I, Sam, take you, Alex, to be my [wife/husband].
All that I am I give to you, and all that I have I share with you.
Whatever the future holds, I will love you and stand by you, as long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn vow.
Church of England
I Sam, take you Alex, to be my [wife/husband],
to have and to hold
from this day forward;
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
till death us do part,
according to God’s holy law;
in the presence of God I make this vow.
Quaker
In the presence of God and these our Friends,
I take thee to be my wife/husband/partner, promising with
Divine assistance to be unto thee a loving and faithful wife/husband/partner so long as we both shall live.
Jewish
Harei at m’kudeshet li b’taba’at zo kedat Moshe v’Yisrael.
Behold, you are consecrated to me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel.
V’erastikh li l’olam, v’erastikh li b’tzedek uvmishpat uv’chesed uv’rachamim V’erastikh li b’emunah v’yada’at et Adonai.
I betroth you to myself forever; I betroth you to myself in righteousness and in justice, in love and in mercy;
I betroth you to myself in faithfulness, and you shall know G-d
By this ring you are sanctified to me as my wife in accordance with the traditions of Moses and Israel. Wear me as a seal upon your heart, as a seal upon your arm, for love is infinitely strong. Many waters cannot quench love, no flood can sweep it away, I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.
Be a companion and a spouse to me according to the laws of Moses and Israel, with your consent and with your full knowledge. May this marriage be a covenant of partnership and trust as we work to build a life together: sometimes in unison, sometimes in harmony. Let me bind myself to you with respect, with love, with friendship and with joy, so that we may be companions and lovers until the end of days.
buddhist
I take you for the love you hold in your heart, and vow to spend my life cultivating my love and care for you, for our family, and for all living things. Our relationship is my most important consideration; it gives me strength, and I vow to put every effort into strengthening it in turn through honesty, faithfulness, and patience. For all the days that we live with one another, I promise to spend each day working to become a more true version of myself, and I will do my utmost to help you do the same. In this effort, I take the Threefold Refuge vows, the Three Boundless precepts, the Ten Grave Precepts, as well as your wisdom and your council as my guides.
Hindu
With the first step, we will provide for and support each other.
With the second step, we will develop mental, physical, and spiritual strength.
With the third step, we will share the worldly possessions.
With the fourth step, we will acquire knowledge, happiness, and peace.
With the fifth step, we will raise strong and virtuous children.
With the sixth step, we will enjoy the fruits of all seasons.
With the seventh step, we will always remain friends and cherish each other.
Muslim
Sam: I, Sam, offer you myself in marriage in accordance with the instructions of the Holy Qur’an and the Holy Prophet, peace and blessing be upon Him. I pledge, in honesty and with sincerity, to be for you an obedient and faithful wife.
Alex: I pledge, in honesty and sincerity, to be for you a faithful and helpful husband.
If you said Traditional Wedding Vows, what words did you say? How did you think about crafting your marriage vows?
This post was excerpted from the #APWPlanner. For more useful advice like this, get your #APWPlanner at AMAZON, BARNES & NOBLE, INDIEBOUND, or on ITUNES.
