Two Weeks Out and I’m Feeling Calm

Somewhere around the two and a half week mark, a eerie total calm settled over me. Last week I looked around and realized I had a large event to throw in just over two weeks… and my brain flipped a switch. I went from bride-mind to producer mind. I’ve mentioned before that after knowing each other for nine years ) what got David and I together was being co-producers of a small theatre company we started in New York. Producing is something that comes easily to me, something I understand.

So the switch flipped, and I calmly went back to my spreadsheets. I had chats with our wedding stage manager (you can call her captain of the bridal brigade, but we all know that a brilliant stage manager is the lynch pin of a smooth production). I wrote prop lists. Suddenly I knew what I was doing again. CALM.

This weekend, we ran all around the Bay Area (because we are pretty sure that by next weekend we will not give a f*ck about wedding details anymore). We had a meeting with our caterer to go over logistics. I walked in, flipped open my notebook to my three page spreadsheet with a detailed color coded timeline for the weekend.

Me: I don’t know if you remember, but we used to produce theatre…
Caterer: I remembered the second you opened your binder.

Later, she introduced us to the woman who would be in charge at our venue.

Woman: Hi.
Me: Hi! Your managing our event.
Me: Oh, um, I mean our wedding.

Then finally, I went to the hair salon to get my final pre-wedding cut and low-lights/white hair covering. We’re sitting around the end of the day empty salon, listening to Lilly Allen. I’ve just found and interview with Dave Eggers and I’m trying to hold up the magazine and finish reading it while my stylist cuts.

Him: (Trying to figure out how to cut my fringe) So where are you parting your hair for the wedding, the right or the left?
Me: I think we’re parting it on the right. Wait, no I can’t remember if we’re parting it or not.
(I immediately hold the magazine back up to try to finish the article. I mean, it’s a Dave Eggers interview for Christs sake.)
Him: I think you are the calmest bride I’ve ever seen in my life.
Me: What? Really? That’s a nice thing to say. Why?
Him: At this juncture most brides would be on their cell phones, calling people so desperate to find out where their hair was parted that you would literally think their bank account had been frozen.

And so it goes. Soon I’ll pass off the producing baton to Kate, Captain of the Wedding Warriors, and stage manager extraordinaire. Once a show goes up it doesn’t belong to the producer or the director anymore, it belongs to the stage manager. And then, I’m going to pause, breathe it in, and get ready to party.

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  • Love it. Thanks for sharing!

  • That is so wonderful! I just hope that when I'm 2 weeks out I can be as calm and organized as you are! :D So happy for you!

  • Yay! I pray to God that I have your sanity when our big day rolls around. It's easy to be chilax 10 months out!!

  • I'm so frickin excited for your wedding to happen. that's awesome you're so calm, I'm hoping my little event planning experience will kick in at the end as well. ..unfortunately all the events I've ever planned seem to just come off by extreme luck and a lot of last minute scrambling… haha.

  • Vanessa

    Yeah so I'm 5 days out, and I thought I was calm…at least thats what everyone keeps telling me. I even used yesterday as a day to lounge by the pool. But now actually typing that I'm 5 days out makes me feel…KDJVSCK, CSLkcmdam.

    Indescribeable really. Thank you for being here, for being the sanity in the insane world of wedding planning. You have been my go-to place over the past year when I look at all the other wedding porn sites and feel inadequate. I hope that I really have learned something- that I know enough to be present and a sponge on my wedding day.

    Hopefully I'll have great stories (and pictures) to share when its all said and done.

  • B

    We're 2 weeks out and feeling the same way!! Just posted about it, actually…

  • I think this is my favourite post so far. And as soon as my fiance comes back from his Boston shennanagins (I mean…bachelor party), I will be pretty calm.

  • Thanks, Meg–once again–for the tone of your posts and way the way you write about this whole process. I love the way you're able to transmit the "feeling" (as the FC Barcelona coach is so fond of saying these days… can't get a word out of my head when I hear it 5 times a day!) through your writing.

    I've been reading along for a couple of months now, and I think I'm going to go back and start over as we get closer to our date (which we just finalised, almost exactly a year out!) so I can re-read the posts as if they were written at the same stage we'll be at and remind myself that what I'm going through/feeling at X point in the planning is normal, ok, etc. (And I know the comments will be incredibly helpful, too! You all rock!) <3

  • Makes me long for stage managing days, *sigh*.

    I'm glad you found your zen zone, it's a nice place to be in the run up to the day. My hairdresser and I had pretty much the same conversation. It always made me laugh when people would marvel at "the calmest bride I have ever seen."

  • Oh I'm so glad!! We're getting married Saturday, and will be camping Monday-Thursday. People keep asking me if I'm out of my mind but thanks for reminding me that I might not be!


  • I was feeling the same. i figured that even if things went wrong–the party and the marriage would go on!

    The caterer at my venue said i was the calmest bride he's ever worked with the week before the wedding, and the day of–all my friends complimented my demeanor all day.

    It felt so good to be stress free, after having some stress crazy moments a little earlier in the engagement.

    Here's to hoping it stays that way up until the big day, and beyond!

  • LPC

    Thanks for the laughter. "You're managing our event" hehehehehe. It's great. You are bringing your whole self to this wedding, not a fabricated bride self. Go Meg.

  • You're the best Meg! And your hair will be the best too – whether it's parted on the right or left.

  • Dude. This is hilarious because I was a wedding florist at the time of my wedding and my husband is the TD of a theatre, we were like, this is just another thing that we're pulling together. People were incredulous at out attitude, but I can't imagine it any other way. It's hair people, or it' ok if the ribbon doesn't match the fondant on the cake or whatever. Not life or death.

  • hope the calmness stays with you…enjoy and relax….

  • By the week of, I was pretty much done with projects. Well, literally I was done, but I had one more I wanted to make, a Just Married sign for the back of the car. I started it on Thursday and by Friday night I put the unfinished sign away. Wasn't worth the stress and the event…wedding…would go on just fine without it. It was a good feeling, knowing I could just stop and enjoy :)

  • Cate Subrosa

    YES! So excited for you :)

  • i love your references to the theatre. i co-produced theatre for three years with my college best friend before she went away to grad school. (now the producing is on hold until she returns).
    i can see exactly what you mean. i love it. :)

  • i love your references to the theatre. i co-produced theatre for three years with my college best friend before she went away to grad school. (now the producing is on hold until she returns).
    i can see exactly what you mean. i love it. :)