Q: Hey APW!
I’m just going to get right to it: I have completely deconstructed my faith in the last few years… and now I find myself planning a wedding and having no idea where to start. Your idea of a wedding when you’re actively, heart-and-soul religious and when you’re not even sure there is a god and are just trying to figure out how to live a meaningful life without this certainty are bound to look different from each other. And that can be scary, especially when not everyone knows you’ve lost your faith, and you’re not sure the lead-up to the wedding is the best time to spring a life change on them.
So I’d love to know: If you planned a wedding as a formerly religious person, which wedding traditions and rites did you keep, and why? Which did you let go of?
have you planned a secular wedding after losing your faith (or leaving it behind)? what mattered most to you? what didn’t? how did your families react?