I Want to Be Someone’s Wedding BFF

Oakland, do you hear me?

bridesmaids helping bride get ready

So here’s the thing, APW. While I’ve been married for almost ten years, I didn’t actually have a wedding. My husband and I eloped at the courthouse one Friday morning in February, and among other things, totally bypassed the months of planning that make you alternately shake in a corner while weeping because DEAR GOD WHY, and bounding off the furniture because OMG everything is working just the way you wanted it to.

In other words, I’ve never planned a wedding.

A few weeks ago I pitched an idea to Meg: What if I helped someone who reads APW plan their wedding? Because when it comes down to it, what I’m learning from APW is that what a lot of people really need is essentially a doula for their wedding. You know, the person who will be your advocate, who will hold your hand, who will tell you when your ideas are good and realistic (or bad and unrealistic), and who will not let anyone (anyone!) bully you into an experience you don’t want to have.

And Meg was like, “OMG DO IT.” Which means that today I’m offering up my services as Wedding BFF to one of you that really just needs a shoulder to lean on.

you’re in the bay area: I live and work in Oakland. So you need to also be in the Bay, preferably in or very near Oakland.

your budget isn’t too high: Why? Not because we judge people with higher budgets. Nope. Just because not having all the money tends to lead to some tears and problem solving, and I want to help you with that. Ideally, we’d love to find a couple who has a budget of $25,000 or less and is planning a Bay Area wedding, where everything is expensive.

you will let me write about it: Obviously, a big part of the reason I’m doing this is to learn about what planning a wedding is actually like… and I’ll also be writing about the experience regularly on APW. We can hash out details in person.

you’re not looking for a wedding savior: I will attend some of your consultations and also meet up with you periodically, but I am by no means an actual wedding planner (see also: I have a job, husband, and child). Also, I can’t get you things for free. But I am someone you can text when you’re like, “OMFG WHAT,” and you can send those long train-of-thought wedding emails to me, bounce ideas off of me, and I can help you figure out how in the holy hell you’re going to pull this thing off.

OR, join APW’s wedding Panel: If the above doesn’t sound like you, but you’d love to help us help you get through wedding planning with your sanity intact, APW has a bunch of killer new features in the works, and we’re looking for a “Wedding Panel” to be the first to test drive them. So if you’re getting married soon, you’re actively using APW’s resources to help plan, and you love sharing your opinions, then read on to apply.

TO APPLY: FILL OUT THIS form, select either Wedding Bff or wedding Panel (or both!), and INCLUDE your names, wedding date, budget, and a few sentences ABOUT YOUR WEDDING PLANS.

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