What Are Your Wedding Regrets?

Mine is simple

A wedding couple lean against a wall

From the moment my husband and I set the intention to get married, we knew two things: we wanted to get married on Pi Day, and we knew we would pay for our wedding ourselves. As thirty-something professionals, it was a given that we’d use our own savings to pay for our wedding. But that meant that we needed to look for ways to keep costs down, because we’re gainfully employed adults, not money trees.

It Was All About The Benjamins

As we planned our wedding, my husband and I gave a lot of thought of what we absolutely needed, and where we wanted to spend our $20,000 budget. We both agreed on three things: a unique venue, delicious food, and beautiful photography that captured our entire day from start to finish. After that, everything was negotiable and could potentially be cut. Our priority list led us to hiring two photographers for eight hours of coverage. We also had a line item for a videographer, but it seemed so frivolous—did we really need amazing wedding photos and video too?

I took an informal poll on social media, asking if anyone watched their wedding video years later. The responses were all the same—not a single person said they’d ever watched their wedding video. It seemed like an unnecessary expense, one of those things that the Wedding Industrial Complex tells you that you “must have.” So we struck a line through the “videography” section of our budget and allocated those funds to something else.

Or… Was It?

The day of my wedding, it went by both incredibly slow and at lightning speed, all at the same time. It felt like an eternity leading up to our ceremony, and then before I knew it, it was the end of the night and half our guests were gone. So much had happened in those moments, like my brother walking me down the aisle as I beamed from ear to ear; our selfie moment during the ceremony; signing our marriage certificate with the officiant’s mic still on; and the heartfelt toasts during our reception.

It’s been a little less than three years since my wedding, and while it feels somewhat fresh in my mind, I wish I could relive the magic of my wedding day via video. My wedding photographs are beautiful, and were worth every penny that we spent on them. I look at them often, and I’m so thankful that we made the investment in our wedding photographs. But I wish someone—anyone—had told me that, one day, photographs may not be enough for me. One day I’d want to hear the heartfelt words that my husband’s best man spoke during his toast to us, the words that led my husband to break down in tears because of how much his friend meant to him. I wish I had a professional video that showed my grandmother’s toast, both because I’d love to see and hear her, but because I’d also love to have a video of her to show my daughter.

Regrets, Turns Out I Have A Few

Right after my wedding, it was easy to say that I loved everything about my wedding—that was my truth at the time. Our wedding was three years ago, and now I can admit to myself (and all of you) that there are a few things that I wish we’d done differently. Be clear—this isn’t to scare you into second-guessing all your plans. And I’m sure all the people who I polled thought they were doing me a solid by telling me to skip the video. I had no idea that three years later, I’d wish for something that I never even knew I wanted, until it was too late. That’s the curse of regret I suppose.

But I can’t be the only one, right? Was there something that you skipped that you wish you’d done? Or did you do everything for your wedding and now wish you had cut back? Does anything really bother you, years later, or are you pretty Zen about it all?

Does anyone else have things (big or small) that they regret about their wedding?

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