For a while, I’ve had built up anxiety about gathering certain family members and my (non-familial) community in close proximity. Not because of Coronavirus, but because of loose cannon family members. Would I be able to get my hardcore Trump-loving uncle in the same room as my super progressive friends without there being an all out brawl? Can I not have an open bar at my wedding if I’m concerned about alcoholic family members making a scene? What about my divorced parents who haven’t spoken since their nasty split? Maybe now is my chance to avoid those messy situations happening at all.
Yes, we’re in the middle of a world-wide pandemic, I KNOW. But hear me out. I’ve never been one that likes to be the center of attention so the thought of a 200-person wedding with all eyes on me and my partner has always made me want to hide (I will say my partner does have a not-so-secret desire to have a big wedding). Add family members that are literally a liability, and you bet I’d just want to run off and elope (don’t be surprised if we do just that). But now, there might be a happy middle ground, a virtual wedding.
The Unlikely answer to my (internal) struggles?
If you told me a year ago, hell, even three months ago, that my partner and I would even be talking about this I would’ve laughed right in your face. But as they say, things change. Circumstances change. And have they ever! Every day more and more Zoom weddings and elopements are popping up on my feed and the first thing I always notice are the couples. Not the dress, not the bouquet, none of that. Weddings in the midst of coronavirus are feeling more intimate than ever, well, because they have to be. That’s the vibe I’ve always been behind. Intimate and meaningful.
And if we did decide to have a virtual wedding with the powers that be, I could mute my unruly family members (if I needed to)! We wouldn’t have to lose sleep over a seating chart! If guests want to drink, they’d have to BYOB and contain themselves in their own homes. I could have a cake that didn’t cost hundreds of dollars. My bouquet could come from foraged things in my yard, #resourceful. (Bonus points that my cat could be a part of this joyous union.) And I’ve always believed in bringing things back to basics so now that our world has been flipped upside down it has given us the perfect opportunity to do just that. Make it about the celebration of love and commitment.
But after a decade together, we’ll see if we wake up one day and decide to do it. It’s not unlike us to throw a curve ball anyways. As for now, we’re pretty content living our best life like Goldie and Kurt.
Have tense personal relationships made you reconsider your #weddinggoals? Are you considering eloping or having a virtual wedding? Would you seize the moment and do the damn thing or hold out until large gatherings are (eventually) allowed again?
