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What Type Of Event Should We Have On Our Original Wedding Date?

Family politics are making it hard to decide

Q: I was planning a ~150 person wedding in Baltimore, MD for the end of October. We have made the decision to push back the large event by a year for a variety of reasons. However, we’re struggling with doing an elopement or a small, intimate wedding on our planned date.

I come from a large family, and I am incredibly close with my family. I grew up with my cousins and aunts and uncles on both sides, and while I am closer to some cousins than others, it feels very strange to consider getting married without them there. I should add that my parents are divorced, so that adds a layer of complications and political navigation for me.

My fiancé grew up in a small family so the dynamics are a little different for him. His preference is to do a small event, as he struggles with not having his parents there. My preference is to just elope because it’s easier than planning a second event that may or may not happen, and this way, everyone can be upset that they weren’t there.

Looking at the numbers, we could do a 29 person event with no extended family or we could explode into a 70 person event, which sort of defeats the purpose of having a smaller event.

I am really struggling with making the right call here and would appreciate advice from others who may have a similar scenario.

Should this couple elope and celebrate with their extended family at a later date? 2020 couples, how have you been in a similar scenario?

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