I think I have discovered the why and wherefore of the atrocious bridal to-do list. Five weeks out, my hands are largely free of tasks, as we have all but finished our list (Type-A alert). I’ve noticed that my newly free hands tend to start wringing themselves.
It’s not that I’m nervous about the wedding, per say, or about our marriage. Its that now I have time to think about the vast unknown (what does a wedding feel like when youâ€™re a bride?) and the way our lives will never be the same after we marry (together five years or no). I have time to think about my emotions.
I think this is why favors were created, actually, as a monumental distraction from the truth.
A few weeks back, I posted a few reflecting pieces about parts of the wedding planning process
that make us insane, managing our stress, and the tyranny of society's current and obsessive compulsive focus on wedding details. After I posted it, Kathryn of Snippet & Ink
and I were chatting wedding details, and she said something so thought provoking and true that I had to share it with you:One of the things your posts this week made me think about was why do I love all of the wedding details? Because I really do love them (well, most of them; there are a chunk that I find absurd). And I realized that it's because I love details in general, I love things that are done thoughtfully and beautifully, that are meaningful, and that are little gifts to other people whether they realize it's a gift or not. And if a bride doesn't feel that way about the details, and if all she feels is pressure and like she doesn't measure up, then that's not thoughtful or meaningful in a good way, and it's not a gift to anyone! People need to remember that their wedding day should reflect who they are, and if for them that means walking down the aisle to Johnny Cash, and not perfectly coordinated vintage stamps, then THAT'S their gift. Continue reading In Praise Of The Particular
Perhaps one of my favorite posts I’ve written is one I wrote ages ago, on favors. In that spirit, I thought I’d share this thought from the imitable Miss Manners:
Who told you that you had to give out wedding favors? Etiquette has never thought of weddings as comparable to children’s birthday parties, where the guests might need consolation for not being the center of attention.