*Rella, Consultant & Avi, Web Strategist*
This week we’ve been talking, in a whole variety of ways, about The Breaking Point, that point that we sometimes hit where everything falls apart. And what we’ve really been exploring are the times when that moment of crisis deepens your relationship instead of rupturing it. As far as wedding stories go, there is no more poignant version of that story than having a wedding after losing a loved one. So I’m deeply honored to share Rella’s story here, in the hopes that it helps just one of you on your own journey.
A lot of people have written powerful APW posts about losing a parent before a wedding, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen one about losing a sibling. I’m sure I’m not the only person who has gotten married without a beloved brother (or sister) standing with them, so I wanted to share my story.
On June 14, 2010, my younger brother took his own life. This was just the beginning of an unbelievably heartbreaking summer.
The only (and I really mean only) thing that got me (and to a large extent, my family) through this difficult time was my now-husband, then-boyfriend. We’d been dating for just under six months at that point, so the fact that our relationship made it through that summer unscathed was the first indication that he was a keeper. He was an anchor for me as I navigated the uncharted, rocky waters of the grieving process. I literally don’t know how I would have made it without him.
As I came to terms with my brother’s death, and the many thousands of lost moments we were supposed to have together, I slowly learned how to be happy again, and to not feel guilty about being happy. I think that’s one of the hardest things when you lose a loved one so suddenly. But my brother wouldn’t want me to be unhappy for the rest of my life—he’d want me to be happy. I’m dishonoring his memory by doing that.
I also realized that you never know what’s going to happen in life. You have to take charge and make the most of the time you have with the ones you love. And if we could make it through that horrific summer, we could make it through anything. So when Avi proposed to me shortly after our one-year anniversary, I was thrilled to say yes. Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Rella & Avi