I’m thrilled to introduce our newest wedding graduate – Vilija of Love, V. Because I do click through comments and poke around on your blogs, I’ve been hoping for Vilija to email me and ask to be a wedding graduate since this SUMMER. So when she did, I did a little jump around the living room dance. And it was worth it. So I bring you Vilija and Trevor’s wedding, the wedding that has inspired me to add “learn how to make a wedding cake” to my life list… because it just seems like a skill I should have. In fact, it’s made me think that all of us wedding grads should learn some wedding skill, so we can give it as a gift over and over again. (Oh! And please take note! Another church wedding, yay!!) Take it, lady:
I approached planning my wedding like planning a great party. Trevor and I wanted to be the best versions of us on our wedding day and wanted to showcase things and people who were important to us. We tried to incorporate as many of our friends’ talents that we could and employed several of them. We also wanted to make what we could. Being organized and asking for help was a large part of our success in our wedding planning venture. 
We printed our own save the date postcards and made most of our wedding stationary on my gocco. My mother was our calligrapher and also made the caramels we left out for guests to take home. 
Our friends are impressive, giving, and talented they: catered our reception, made my veil & jewelry, styled hair, did make-up, arranged flowers, made bouquets, sang, played instruments, were Djs, decorated, and so much more.
Trevor decided that he wanted to bake our wedding cake. He officially became my boyfriend with an angel food cake layered with strawberries and fresh whipping cream, so I was all for it. Most of our guests were coming to Seattle from out of town so instead of a traditional rehearsal dinner we invited our families to a home-cooked BBQ dinner. Good food was especially important to Trevor so we spent time “practicing” for our big day together. After several test cakes and pots of baked beans we were ready.
While Trevor and I are a good team in the kitchen, dance lessons put me outside of my comfort zone. We are the opposite of most couples I know because Trevor was the one who suggested lessons. I acquiesced because I wanted to make him happy. When I’m dancing with Trevor in a lesson I get all uptight and snippy. It caused plenty of arguments but taught me a good lesson in compromise. It was important to Trevor that I dance with him, and he wanted to dance well. Although I struggled, I learned something new that I can share with my husband. It wasn’t always easy, or pretty but it reminds me of being married.
One thing I learned that I didn’t realize until now is that my success was due to the fact that I asked for help. I am the type of person to take on projects with trouble delegating. I really like to be in charge (type-A really). Our wedding came together so smoothly because all of my friends know my tendencies. They made sure that instead of running ragged I had time to relax and show up to the ceremony rested and collected. People asked to help, but more importantly I asked for help. Inspired by this blog I had my own team practical, which actually turned out to be a wedding army. I learned that I really could not do it all on my own. I also learned a lesson in good karma, what goes around comes around.
The most important part for me was being able to spend time with my family and to meet Trevor’s family. I met Trevor’s dad for the first time at the wedding rehearsal and was pleasantly surprised when he smiled and took my hand to swing me around the dance floor the next day. I also relished quietly sneaking off for a quick photo shoot with Trevor before the reception. I remember looking at him in the car and beaming. I have to admit that it was kind of fun walking around a park in our finery and getting asked if I was a princess.
I stressed about appearances and I blame this on my infatuation with pretty pictures and styled wedding posts. At first, when I saw the chairs that were provided by my reception site I was worried that they would look ugly and that I should get chair covers. Insecurity about chairs? These wedding people are geniuses. I snapped back to reality when I looked at prices for stuff like that, not practical. I forgot to realize that people would be looking less at their chairs and more at the view. I reminded myself that it was about the people in the chairs.
Trevor and I were also on a budget, which reflected in many of the decisions we made during wedding planning. I think that keeping our budget in mind made me focus on being practical and realistic instead of getting swept up by the beauty of images online. I was surprisingly decisive in my wedding planning. Although I relied on blogs to entice me with pretty pictures on a daily basis, I feel like I had a good idea of what I wanted to accomplish from the beginning. Several of my friends had relied on my help when planning their weddings and I think that it made approaching my own easier. Aside from great pictures, the internet was a huge research tool and planning aid. After spotting my ideal wedding dress in a store, I ended up purchasing it for half price on Craigslist.
My advice is as follows:
- If you can make something yourself it’s worth a try. If you know someone with a talent or a skill work together, barter with or employ them.
- Ask for help. Maybe you can do it alone, but it is not fun and is stressful.
- Don’t be afraid to eliminate things from your list. If something is bogging you down, it may not be worth pulling your hair out.
- Compromise. It may not always feel great, but no one ends up losing.
- Make time to spend alone with your husband after your ceremony. Let the bliss sink in, beam at each other.
Photography: Cheryl Jones of In A Frame Photography
