Back From Bliss

We’re back. As I type this we are winging our way home from our honeymoon, and I can’t wait to see all our dear sweet friends again, and sleep in my own bed. What to say? While I was unwilling to say that the wedding was the happiest day of my life so far (see: lack of naps) I will say that these last two weeks, the wedding and the honeymoon, have been some of the most blissful I’ve ever experienced. A life changing moment, a great party, a grand adventure, and plenty of naps (though we walked for miles everyday too, don’t kid yourself). But here is the best part: we’re married now, so this is only our *first* adventure as a married couple, and I fully expect that this will not end up as the best two weeks of my life, just ONE of the happiest times.

Aside: When the stewardess just came by passing out landing cards, she asked if we were a family, and David said, “Yes.” So how great is that?

So. I want to tell you about the wedding, a little bit at a time. This community made me far braver, calmer, and more honest on my wedding day, and that made all the difference. Because of that, I want to share some of that joy with you. The problem is, like East Side Bride before me, I’m having a hard time writing about our wedding. It’s not so much that I’m afraid of shaking the glitter off, I’m pretty sure it wouldn’t come off if I tried and I know that there are parts of the wedding that we’ll keep just for us. The problem, I think, is that the wedding feels so big. People always tell you about their wedding details, or their wedding timeline, and I suppose I could tell you about those things, but they miss the point. They are not the wedding I experienced. This is the wedding I experienced:Which while imperfect, could not have been better for me, or for us.

So, while I’m getting my thoughts together, I’m going to ask you a favor. Leave me a comment (even if you don’t normally comment, I’m specifically inviting you lurkers to come out) and ask me a question. What sorts of stories would you like me to tell about the wedding? I can’t say I’ll answer every question, but it will help me figure out what to share.

On our wedding day, I made a toast to absent friends. So here is to you, Team Practical, physically absent at our wedding, but very much present, in spirit.

Photo: A sneak peak from Heather and Jon of One Love Photo, who are the best photographers on the planet, something I’ll tell you about in more detail later. Also, side note, we won’t get our professional pictures back for another six-ish weeks (which gives us time to cement our memories before we see lots of pictures, which I think is cool) so some stories will probably wait for those pictures.

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  • Anonymous

    I want to hear how you felt when you put your dress on the morning of the wedding – did it suddenly feel very real, were you excited, stressed? Were you on your own or did you have friends helping you?

    Also – what did you have for breakfast?!

  • Sara H

    Did you have an appetite? I told myself I was not going to be one of those brides that didn't get to eat at her wedding, but when it came time, I had NO appetite and I had to choke down food at lunch and didn't get to enjoy the full flavor of our wedding food (which guests were raving about immediately). I was in the moment throughout the entire wedding and was not stressed, but a bit disappointed in my normally very healthy appetite failing me. Oh well – I tasted vicariously through our guests.

    Also, while it might be a bit soon – was there any post-wedding depression? It sounded like a joke to me before the wedding, and yet while I was able to let the imperfections roll off my back AT the wedding and enjoy the party, they still haunt me AFTER the wedding. It doesn't help that I am a perfectionist and that I obsessed over these things for 18 months…but I just don't want to admit to myself that I am *that* bride that was so absorbed in the wedding process.

    Curious to hear your thoughts. Your posts always were perfect timing for me when I was going through a wedding mental health moment before the wedding. I always wanted to comment to tell you how thankful I was for them, but then my writing skills seemed subpar. Anyhow, I'm coming out of hiding and as much as I am completely done mentally with the wedding, I still check your blog daily as I am curious to hear your wedding summary as well as your thoughtful posts on the deeper issues of marriage.

    THANK YOU for all you have contributed to the wedding blog world! I hope you continue to write about married life, but I understand if you feel you must move on.

  • I was talking to a recently married friend of mine, and she was giving me advice on the whole planning process. One of the things she chose to share was "At the end of the day, no one gives a crap what china pattern you chose." During her preparations, she remembered freaking out about not liking the china pattern offered by her caterer, and her mom taking her aside and asking her "What china pattern did they choose at the last wedding you attended", to prove the point that no guest would *ever* notice that sort of detail.

    Is there anything that you blew way out of proportion? Or anything you chose to completely and utterly NOT focus on, and you're glad you made that choice?

  • Lurker here :)

    I want to hear about your favorite moment of the whole day. What was the most special, stands out the most in your memory. :)

  • I would like to know if you felt. What did it feel like to get married. As a bride getting married in 6 weeks, this is really the hardest thing for me to grasp. I've been caught up in the details until the last week, and now, we're just trying to feel everything. So, how did you feel?

  • What were you happiest that you had done? What detail was it that you couldn't imagine your day without? What splurge was worth it?

  • congrats Meg!
    Please tell us how it felt to see your fiance/hubby for the first time that day!

  • What was something that was enjoyed (either expected or unexpected) by the guests at your wedding?

    Alex & I have been married for 8 months and I'm surprised because my family still talks about how delicious the food was at our wedding. Of all things, it was totally unexpected, yet makes me happy because who doesn't want people to enjoy the food at a wedding


    p.s. welcome back! :D

  • I want to know what you were really happy that you had done during your wedding planning, and what things came into focus as being unimportant.

    Did you like the dress you ended up wearing, i.e. did you feel comfortable the whole day?

    Were you able to see everyone you wanted to? If so, do you have some advice on how to manage that successfully?

  • I am 8 months to the wedding and feeling calmer and calmer. Details do not matter much anymore and I'm no more scared/nervous if "something" would go wrong, etc.

    But there's still one thing i want to know: how did you feel when you realize that you're now having your own "family" independent (sort of) from the family you used to?

  • Oh Meg, like words out of my own brain. I felt exactly the same way about the difficulty of trying to describe it to the world because it is indeed so much more than the sum of its parts. (Oh and we also got a twinge of excitement at being able to declare ourselves as "family" at customs, although we were bummed that in the US we still needed separate cards due to our different surnames.)

    I just want to know what the most powerful part of the day was for you.

  • lynds

    First… congrats!!
    I am getting married on Saturday – 6 days away now! :) And part of my career is planning large galas so I have a tendency to get stuck in details and have strict timelines. Thing is, with work, I am paying people to stick to the timeline, with the wedding, it's family and friends so I'm not sure if they're as dedicated to the timeline as I am. While I have committed to be a guest at my wedding, and enjoy every moment, I too, like Sara H, worry about post-wedding depression… after the event, looking back on what didn't go as planned, and while I let it roll off at the wedding, won't be so happy about it when I'm remembering the wedding. I'm totally interesting in your thoughts on hindsight!

    thanks Meg, all the best!

  • Anonymous

    I admire and applaud your wedding on a budget. Its a goal that I have for myself and I loved reading about your planning. It felt like watching you plan a celebration of a marriage, not a wedding just to impress the guests. And I loved it. Is there anything you would budget differently, cut out, add to?
    THank you for sharing it all with you

  • SingColleen

    How did you feel about your ceremony? What did you include and why? What made those words, those moments (the readings, vows, ring-exchange, etc) special for you?

  • Ooh! I want to know how you felt when you guys exited the building, wedding over, husband and wife. Were you excited? Drained? Happy? Overwhelmed? All of those? None of those?

  • from a lurker… congrats on your wedding!
    I would love to know about your vows. and about what was a part of your wedding you wish you focused on more in the planning stage.

  • Hi Meg,

    I am an avid reader but I never comment. This blog helped me through my own wedding planning and keeping things in perspective, so a big thank you.

    I want to know what made you laugh out loud at your wedding. I thought I would be nervous and serious at my wedding, instead I couldn't stop laughing. There were some hilarious things, others might think of them as things that went wrong, that happened at my wedding. I also was so happy that laughter, instead of tears, bubbled out from me. Completely unexpected but totally treasured.

  • what were your favorite behind the scene's moments?
    i was just married in may and i have great memories of my dad and i joking before we walked down the aisle together. he is a character and put me at ease before being in the spotlight.

  • Anonymous

    Hi Meg,

    I’ve not ever offered a “comment” before this, but I sort of feel that somehow I owe it to you. Like all your readers I get so out much out of your blog: the words you write, the people you chose to feature, and even the sponsored posts. Much of what you write resonates closely with me – I’m getting married in just over 3 weeks so in many ways your posts have been in sync with where I’m at.

    In your most recent post you talked about the lurkers out there. I am one of those, but I’m giving you a new name for us. We are your ‘Pilot Fish”. We swim alongside you, silently, as you navigate the path (gaining protection from the predators out there!).

    My question for you is this: How did help yourself to remain serene and calm in the morning before your ceremony whilst being amongst others who are not really into “serenity” and “calmness”? I intend to take a moment for myself before I walk down the aisle in the adjoining cathedral to our own little chapel, but I’m wondering about before that moment – when your girls are around you clucking and preening (as any bridesmaid will no doubt do!) I want to know how you helped yourself to keep the inner calm, without appearing “stand-off-ish” and “out-of-it”? Sometimes people confuse being at peace with not being excited and I just wanted to hear your thoughts on this.

    Thanks so much,

    A Pilot Fish

  • Anonymous

    I generally lurk here, but I really enjoy the way you share your thoughts on this blog. My question isn't for you, really, it is for your new hubby…what were his favorite parts of the day, the happy or touching things that he has shared with you, anything that he wishes had been different, etc. I love hearing the highlights for both members of a couple, as they're often different things! (and I feel like the guys are often "left out"-I certainly look forward to hearing your highlights as well!) I know he may not want to post, but maybe his views could be included somehow.

  • Tell us about a moment when you stopped and suddenly thought, "It's here! It's happening!" I had many of these moments (just got married 2 weeks ago), but remember most vividly being at the cabin where we had the reception putting my bouquet together as about 10 people showed up to set up chairs and tables under the tent. It was amazing to see our community show up and take care of us. I'd like to hear about such a moment during your own wedding week. Congrats!

  • Was your honeymoon flight long? Did you wish you sprung for business class on the plane?

  • Just a curious detail: how long was it before you kicked off your shoes?

  • Anonymous

    I had a number of pleasant surprises on my wedding day…(same weekend as yours)…and i'd love for you to tell us something that surprised you. and made all that sentiment we can't talk about…tangible.

    Mine: We had invited a friend to our wedding but he never responded and we knew he was out of the country during our wedding which was in the east coast (we live in bay area)so we thougt we wouldn't see him. When we were about to walk down the aisle,our coordinator told us to wait for a guest who had gone to the men's room. we did. A couple of seconds later this friend came around teh corner. And when he saw us he put his hand to his mouth and said "oops" and ran inside. My guy and I looked at each other in shock and said: "Larsen?" (our friend's name)….and then we sorta understood that unspoken love friends have for each other…I mean that guy was coming from Istanbul for pete's sake…and he flew in just in time to see us get married? That's love. And we were so moved by that…

  • K

    When did you feel bridey? I spent all of my wedding planning feeling very anti-bride, and the moment right before I went to see TH, when there was just me and one of our friends taking photos, and I exclaimed/screamed that I felt like such a bride. (Here's the pic:

    Also, I would love to see your favorite picture, the one that captures all of the love you and David felt for each other in overpowering waves that day.

    Every time I read our wedding post, I think of at least two or three other stories that I wish I would have thought to include. When the wedding is ready to come pouring out of you, it will. And each time, it will be as fantastic and joyful as the last. And each time, it will be a little bit different than the previous mention.

    Congrats, lady! :)

  • I want to know about the emotions of it all. The father daughter moment, when you 1st see each other, I cry just thinking about that moment. the vows, how much did you share with everyone, vows seem so personal and so many people are listen, how did it feel to hear them to say them, was it as overwhelming as it is to write them. Was there anything you'd do different (other than the naps) Did you have enough time for yourself, and enough time just the 2 of you.

  • Congratulations Meg!

    My question is: did anything go wrong or turn out different from how you wanted it? I actually find it comforting to hear people's "things that go wrong at weddings" stories, perhaps because they usually end with "and it wasn't that big a deal after all". It helps keep things in perspective.

  • Oh Meg the dress looks stunning, even though I can only see the back of it!

    When was the first time you had to introduce David to a complete stranger as your husband (instead of your boyfriend/partner)? Were you able to do it straight-faced without breaking into a massive smile and feeling giddy with happiness?

  • Willa

    Hooray! I'm so happy for you guys. Your writing about love and life is really an inspiration, even to someone who does not foresee a wedding in her future very soon. (Also, I'm one more lurker actually posting a comment.)
    My question: Since everyone seems to have asked lots about the different joyful feelings and intangible moments, I'm curious about some of the nitty gritty party details! Did you have any quirky personal touches during the ceremony or reception that you were really happy you included? How did the food and drink and dessert all turn out?

    Also, I really liked someone else's question about if you had any unexpected surprises throughout the festivities?

  • Jo

    Lurkers, delurking…
    I want to know if the logistics of the day got to you, or, assuming they didn't, how you handled the fact that there were so many people with so many different places to be and things to do… in a way that didn't detract from your ability to enjoy the moments you were supposed to being and doing in.

    And what you did when you got back to the room with your husband after the day was over.

  • Anonymous

    I'm interested in hearing about what your ceremony contained – all unique elements? Traditional elements too?

  • anna n

    Hi, long-time lurker here…

    after following you're blog fpr so long I wonder which of the choices you made during the planning really mattered on the day. Was there somthing that you thought "I'm so glad we decided to do this this way" about?

  • My curiosity is similar to that of everythinginplace: I'm really interested in using our wedding as an opportunity to host our friends and family to an awesome party. What were the elements of your wedding, forseen and unforseen, that enhanced the hosting experience?

  • April

    Did you eat? And more importantly: did you eat because you were hungry or because you HAD to eat or you'd be mental?

    Did you cry buckets at the ceremony?

    And BTW: the energy in that photo you posted, you in background with a little on in your arms, barefoot, dancing, and a sweet little girl, in her red boots, also dancing – tugged at my heartstrings like no other wedding photo has before.

    It looks real. It looks fun. It's a celebration. It's life.

    Much love to you and yours as you start anew as a family. xoxo

  • How did you sleep the night before?

    Did you go around and say hi to everyone at the wedding?

  • Congratulations Meg! So glad it was all so lovely. My question is did you and David feel like you got enough "you" time at the wedding? I'm in the last week now and love hearing about you and others who have just gone through it and getting any last minute insight.

  • congrats!!!

    did you get nervous/nauseous etc. right before walking down the aisle? i ask because despite being so excited about my own wedding(in two months!) and being so happy with our realistic, down to earth, super fun plans, i actually hate being the center of attention and having all (or any!) eyes on me. i'm sort of half-dreaming, half-dreading about the actual ceremony in front of our 50 loved ones. the rest of the wedding – i'm pumped for! so i wonder, if you are anything like me in that regard, what did it feel like JUST before? or while walking down the aisle? or while reciting your vows (honestly, i think i might throw up!!!)

    this is not to say i'm worried or don't want the day to come. i can't wait to experience it! just curious if you felt this way too or if those kinds of discomforts melt away in all the magic.

    thanks for writing such a fun & honest blog. i'm a new blogger, but have been following helpful sites like yours since i was engaged last year. really enjoy reading your thougtsh!!


  • So what did it feel like to feel all that love all in one room? From David, your family, your friends?

    PS I love the photo. The little girl is adorable. A past Meg perhaps.

  • Anonymous

    Another Lurker here…

    Did you feel like you had enough time to see everyone? Did you have a greeting line or any of those fairly organised way of seeing everyone?

    Congratulations by the way!

  • Do you think she'd let me borrow her red boots?

    Welcome back, dearie.

  • Anonymous

    Lurker de-lurking here (usually read through your RSS feed).

    Slightly echoing Joanna's comment above, I'd like to know about the logistics. Usually at parties I've hosted where lots of people don't know each other, I've spent a lot of time introducing people, offering subjects of conversation that they might have in common, trying to keep conversations flowing in a "hostess" kind of way. Most of the people coming to my wedding will not have met before, so I'm wondering how I try to make sure people don't feel adrift at the reception. I've been to weddings before where I didn't end up meeting anyone and felt very isolated stuck at an assigned seat.

  • sam

    Welcome back! My question would be did you get to enjoy the party? Were you able to spend time with the people you invited and delight in their company?
    Everyone tells me I won't actually get to spend time with the guests… and I'm curious to know if you experienced that at all. Because to me, the guests are a huge part of the event. If we don't get to be with them why not just elope?

  • Oh, I love the picture!

    I skimmed the comments and think this was asked before, but just in case… did you cry? When? And how did it feel? I got married at the end of June and thought I'd at least hold out until the vows but I started crying as I walked down the aisle and just DID. NOT. STOP. Seriously, a friend later commented to my husband "She was like a fountain!" So–I'm wondering–did your emotions pour out of you more than you thought they would? Or was it just as you thought it'd be?

  • I have been lurking on your blog for awhile – not because I am getting married (I have already been married for six years) but because you completely understand the importance of the day and really understand that the true adventure has just begun. I have a ton of friends who are finally catching up and getting married (my husband and I were really young – 23) and I wish that more of them would read your blog to put some excesses in perspective. Anyway, congratulations I am so happy that you are now a family.

    I would love to know if during the day you had a favorite step back and take it all in moment?

  • the first time you called him your husband. how joyous was it? how random or common-place?

  • Jen

    Congratulations on your marriage! I'm glad to hear you had a life-changing experience. I just started following your blog, and looks like I made it just in time!

    I actually have two questions for you…

    1. What song did you use for your first dance with your husband?

    2. Did you sleep the night before your wedding? If so, how did you do it??

    Looking forward to your next posts!

    ~ Jen

  • Congratulations!!

    I need to know what types of things went "wrong" or "not as planned"…I am mildly obsessive compulsive and I can have an anxiety attack at any given moment when I think about things going wrong on my wedding day. I need you to tell me "it's not that bad" or "it was no big deal".

    I would also love to hear about your ceremony. I am just finalizing our ceremony plans and would love to hear yours.

  • i want to know where you slept the night before the wedding and who stayed with you? your husband to be? your family? your friends? all your bridesmaids? were you in a hotel or your own bed? did you stay up late talking? did you toss and turn? what did you feel like when morning came and it was your wedding day?

  • How did you handle doing the music yourselves? I know you had your own playlist(s), but did you have a friend step in and DJ at all? Could people pick songs off the list? We're huge dancers and want to do the music ourselves, so this is crucial for us! Thanks and welcome back!

  • First of all congratulations!!!

    Second, was there anything about the wedding that surprised you? Something that you didn't realize would feel so important in the moment? Something that you thought was so important in the lead up that you didn't even notice at the wedding?

    Third, is there one piece of advice you can offer to other brides who are trying to stay sane and hoping to really enjoy the day?

  • I know it's not about the pretty stuff…but I'd love that sh*t! And I'd love to see the pretty stuff from someone who knows it's not about the pretty stuff.

  • De-lurking here!

    Though you've already given all of us an incredible amount of advice on how to have a (practical, beautiful, wonderful) wedding, I want to hear your number-one tip. What single piece of advice pulled your wedding into what you wanted it to be? What helped you make it through? Stories as answers are quite appropriate. :) Congratulations again!

  • Wasn't there some story about a coin in your shoe? I'd like that story, please. And could you tell us one favorite thing that someone said to you at the wedding?

  • I want to know how you felt before you walked down to meet him.
    Even if you talked to him and hung out before, what was it like to stand there before you walked to actually BE married?

  • Hi! How did you find a quiet time before the ceremony to just sit back and take everything in? My friends and family are all so excited, but I think a minute or two alone will be much needed.

  • Welcome Home!

    What was your favorite random or strange comment or conversation from the day?

  • I want to know how you felt as you walked down the aisle?? I remember feeling giddy with joy and excitement that this huge day I'd spent so long planning was actually happening, exactly as I planned it except a million times better! And I'd been expecting to cry–all smiles!

    Also, I never once went to the bathroom, from the time I left the hotel to the time I got back. People say you don't eat, but no one prepared me for not even thinking about going to the bathroom for about 8 hours! Did you?!?

  • what was the most meaningful moment?

  • How long did it take you to take your shoes off? I found some tall shoes that I love, but have a feeling I will kick them off as soon as the ceremony ends.

  • Liz

    Thank you for your blog. It has helped me a lot in my planning.

    The advice that I keep hearing (like a broken record) is that 'It doesn't matter if something doesn't work out the day of because I am going to be the only one who will know' and that 'I can't control everything'.

    I have to admit that I am a perfectionist. If something's not going to be perfect, then I don't want to invest my time in making it. While I honestly don't think I'll have a problem going with the flow the day of and the day before the wedding. What advice would you offer someone who is 3 weeks off from their wedding, who is sweating all of the small stuff?

  • I'm so happy for you! Did your walk down the aisle seem to take 3 seconds?

  • welcome back Meg! :)

    I'm curious to hear how it felt to hand control over to someone else (or many someones) and just let the day happen. Seven months out and I've already had moments where I've had to let go of the reins and just trust someone else to handle something, and umm it was scary. I'm bad at relinquishing control. you've talked about the importance of "DIT" instead of "DIY" and I'm still struggling with that! I'm sure that you must have been sharing control before the actual day, and I'd love to hear whether it was a struggle for you to transition from DIT to not having a hand in it at all. does this make any sense?

  • Welcome back, congratulations, and I'm so happy for you and David. From even one photo, the love and joy was apparent.

    I'd love to hear your stories everyone else above requested. And, because we're planning a Sunday Jewish park-ish setting dance party too, I'd appreciate a look at moments that captured the sweaty-shirt-dance party aspect on a Sunday afternoon. Mostly I want to know about your joy and how it manifested itself throughout the weekend/day and the spontaneous fun/love/moments you shared with your guests.

  • I love that you consider your wedding to be only one of many happy days to come. People who claim their wedding was the happiest day of their life five years down the road worry me quite a bit.

  • Anna G

    I just got married over the weekend – I was in no way expecting it to be a "perfect" day, and of course things did go wrong, however I was completely blown away by how perfect it felt amidst all of its imperfection :)

    I would like to hear about any moments you may have had like that, where things may have went wrong and how that affected (or hopefully didn't affect) your overall experience.

    Oh, I'm also curious about your appetite the day of – I am a HUGE eater and found myself barely being able to choke down breakfast & skipping lunch altogether on the big day! But man did the wine ever taste good when I finally got to dinner!


  • Do you have relatives that have passed away, and how did you honor those people in the ceremony?


  • congratulations Meg. There are so many great questions here that I don't really want to add another one. So just commenting because you asked us to and because I'm such a huge fan of your wonderful blog and want to thank you again and again for sharing your thoughts. You rule!

  • Rianna

    Welcome Home and Congratulations Meg!

    Another Lurker here – I've posted maybe twice, but have read every word, sometimes more than once, and often to my husband-to-be, who is also a big fan of yours.

    I'm going to echo Elena, Amy Jo and Anna G – I'd love to see you write about the unexpected hitches, glitches, and things that went "wrong" that together made your wedding perfectly imperfect and uniquely yours.

  • Welcome back. I agree with your general sentiment completely. I also LOVED it so much on the plane the next day, when the steward said, are you related, and I jumped to say: "We're married, we got married yesterday".

    What was your very own moment of really taking it all in?

  • Penny

    Question from a dedicated lurker…

    I identify with your dress-finding saga, so I'm curious to know, when all was said and done, did you feel beautiful in your dress? Were you happy with how it turned out?

    Mazel Tov!

  • hiya!! first, a big huge CONGRATULATIONS!! i'm curious about whether you had a wedding planner, and if not, how did you handle making sure things went smoothly while still taking in the day? and did you get overwhelmed at all by all the attention? i worry sometimes that i'll get so overstimulated by seeing all those people i love at once, and it will make it hard to be peaceful and in the moment…

  • I want to hear about how you two felt part of a community and your community in San Fran on the day of your wedding. Community is an important element throughout your posts. How did that feeling play out on the day? Are you happy that you focused your efforts and money on supporting local businesses? I suppose those are all questions that lead you to the answer we want to hear. :) Still it would be great to bring this journey full circle. Tell us how your goals were met or weren't met. Is there something more you would have liked to have done?

  • Congratulations, and welcome back!

    What moment(s) made you laugh? One of those wonderful, completely joyful laughs.

  • Anonymous

    how was the food? how was the drink? was the dancing good? and for my planning purposes what sorta decorations did you use?
    whatever you tell us though, will be appreciated…:)

  • Not that you need more questions at this point (75 comments already, wow!) but just in case you do. ;) My big general questions: What were the things that went exactly how you expected, and what were the things that went totally differently?

    And a more specific question: What was the most spiritual moment? (For me it was stepping under the huppah. We'd had a brief walkthrough right before the ceremony so we'd practiced walking up the aisle and stepping under together and it felt totally normal, but somehow when we did it "for real" during the cermony it was /intense/. It really felt like a sacred space. Did you have a moment like that?)

  • I think I agree with a lot of the other posters when I say that I want to hear how you felt. Yes, it'll be great to hear about the unexpected things that happened, the things that went well, all those funny details, but we hear those all the time from brides. What we want to know is how if feels to step into the wedding dress. To see the groom for the first time. To say your vows in front of everyone. To leave at the end of the night. Frequently, I think we're in too much of a hurry to talk about the surface details, and then we get caught up in life, and we never get back to those emotions. Which means that those of us with weeks, months, or years to go have no idea what to expect. The experience will be unique for all of us, but hearing your perspective will give us some idea of how we might feel on OUR wedding day.

    By the way, congrats!

  • How do you feel reading all of the comments of love and support from your fellow brides? I can only hope that so many will say such loving words to me when my man and I finally walk down that aisle!

    Congratulations Meg! As a bay area bride I especially loved reading your posts as they hit so close to home for me!

  • I'd love to hear about how everything went- were you happy with the vendors that you hired? And maybe a refresher and how you choose the vendors you did! Anything you would have done different in this department?

  • Congrats!!
    I think some of the best things are lessons learned…
    So what went wrong? Did it end up being a memorable thing? Or just a shrug and "oh well!" moment?

  • welcome back!!

    I've been absorbing your posts for about a year, and I'm finally de-lurking. We're just shy of 7 weeks away from our wedding… here are my thoughts:

    Was there anything you DIY'd (er, DIT'd) that you wish you hadn't? Or vice versa?

    Like others, I'd love to know what kinds of elements you included in your ceremony… and also, how you felt about the length of it. I want to be able to really savor that part of the wedding, but still keep it short and sweet so guests don't feel like it's dragging.

    What did you do the night before?

    Did you paint your toenails? What color?

    What were the first words out of David's mouth when he first saw you that day?

    Who had the best dance moves?

  • when you close your eyes, take a deep breath and think about that day…what do you see.
    how important is lighting, really?

  • Anonymous

    Lurker chiming in here– Congrats!!

    The most overwhelming part to me is the day of– how did you pull everything together?

    I'm sure everyone wants to know this, but what are the details you're really happy you with and what do you think you could of lived without?

    You had a lot of projects– which ones were your favorite?

  • Hi Meg! Welcome back and congratulations! I am a long time lurker as well, getting married in about 10 months. Your blog is hands down my favorite wedding blog, and has helped me stay grounded from the beginning of the wedding planning process. I can't even tell you how much it has helped me stay true to what my fiance and I want.

    I've been wondering a lot lately about how to make sure our ceremony stays joyful and yet also focused and meditative in the moment, without too much distraction (we're an interfaith couple having a Jewish ceremony). Did you struggle with this or plan for it as well? How did it turn out?

  • Catherine

    Hi Meg,

    Welcome back!

    I would like to hear about the ceremony; the way you combined traditional elements with parts that were personally significant. Also how many people had an active role in the ceremony, how did you strike the bablance between including significant people and having it look like a recital?


  • Anonymous

    Who (besides your new hubby) said the most meainingful thing to you on your wedding day and what did they say?

  • Hiya! another longtime lurker ;-) Congrats and thank you for creating this website — for providing a daily wedding treat!

    As for questions, I'm trying to plan out a loose schedule for the day(s) before the wedding and the wedding day. What would really help me is to hear about how you scheduled your own time. Were you overwhelmed by last minute tasks and commitments (eg did you do your own flowers or anything)?

    Did you feel relaxed on the morning before the ceremony? (it would be so great to go for a run that day, if there is time!) How did you get ready — with bridesmaids or family, at home or a salon, etc?

    How did David feel about the wedding: were there details that he couldn't understand you wanting at first, and did it match his expectations for the day?

  • Yet another lurker. I read through RSS as well.

    Here are my questions:
    1. What do you look back on and think that you could have done without or shouldn't have worried about? (matching china, font on the favor tags, etc)
    2. What do you look back on and wish you could have changed or would have done differently? (hired a planner, made programs, preserved your bouquet, etc)
    3. What did you think when you saw everyone just before you started down the aisle?

  • Amy

    Such a good point – we're still 6 weeks or so out and the wedding is already starting to feel larger than life. How could you possibly condense all the experiences and feelings into a single post, or even a series of posts? I guess as someone who is attempting to pull off a beautiful but practical wedding in a very short time, I would love to hear what you remember most about the ceremony, reception, and just afterwards – and do you regret setting aside some of the traditions that didn't find their way into your wedding? We've decided to leave out some stuff like the father/daughter dance and cake cutting… and I guess I'm just concerned that I'll look back and regret it. I'd love to hear how that worked out for you!

  • Cate Subrosa

    Oh, I loved this post. Being married is the best. And you took me back to our own nap-filled honeymoon. Yum. And the absent friends bit… aw :)

    I would love to hear if there were any particular moments through the day when you thought to yourself "I'm going to remember this."

    Welcome home, love :)

  • Blue12rain

    I'm curious, did you and your husband see each other before the ceremony? If not or if so, are you glad you did it that way?

  • Kathy

    Did you get to eat? I always hear all these stories about how the bride and groom never get a bite in edgewise. Always seems a shame, considering how much attention is given to food–and how packed a day it is for you guys!

    Just a little silly–but of course practical–question. Congrats!

  • redfrizzz

    I don't think I've ever commented, but your blog has certainly helped me through this process so far- and I couldn't be happier for you now. :)
    Please tell us about your ceremony- how did you do it?
    explain how you and your Mr. communicated and explored ideas in your process of wedding planning.
    Tell us how you spent time together on your day when everyone was around and wanting to see you.
    all of it! I can't wait. :)

  • Per your request, I'm delurking. :) I see you have a number of comments already and I didn't read them all. I guess I'd like to know what was your most simple happy moment. The moment you didn't plan or think about beforehand. But the moment that was simple in its execution and took your breath away.

  • Congratulations!

    Please tell us about the moment when you saw your guests having the most fun. I'm hoping my guests will have a blast 2 months from today, but keep feeling like I need to give them something more to bring that out (as if food, drink, and music won't be enough?)

    Thank you so much for all your wonderful, inspiring posts.

  • Congratulations!!!! I don't have any questions because I know you will share everything I want to hear on your own time :) I just wanted to tell you that I am one more lurker out there who never comments. Hehe. I LOVE reading your posts… they are a breath of fresh air when you compare it to all the crap that is out there. Thank you for breaking all the rules, it really makes me feel like I don't have to do everything exactly the way "they" say.

  • Katie

    Hi Meg, Long-time lurker, first-time poster. I've really enjoyed reading about your wedding preparation and I'd really like to know: now that you've had some time to reflect, which purchases/processes/details do you feel were really worth the effort/cost and which ones do you wish you hadn't done/spent so much time/money on. Thank you, and thank for from the bottom of my heart for your honesty and humour. I so appreciate it.

  • Congratulations! Thanks for sharing some of your wedding pictures.

  • sem

    Despite of all the unfortunate things that happen, you still consider the whole event blissful. That’s the spirit of a loving couple.

  • I’m so happy for you! The hard part is over what’s most important is that you both love each other and nothing can change that. Take care.

  • First off, mazel tov and warm wishes to both of you!

    The thing that first drew me to your blog is that you are one of the very few wedding bloggers I've seen who takes the liturgy and ritual aspects of the wedding as seriously as you take the visuals (and, y'know, you've got some pretty rocking visual sense, too). So I would love to hear more about that–what choices you made trying to reconcile tradition and you-ness, what ended up working best, and the why behind it all.

  • Bibs

    Hi Meg!
    Thanks for all you do. This is such a fabulous resource, and helped me to really focus on the experience of getting married.

    My question is this- people get so wrapped up in what went right, what didn't, etc, have you taken a moment to sit back and be really, really proud of yourselves for pulling this off? It's a huge accomplishment. Congrats to you both.

  • What are your strongest memories? Was there anything that you spent a ton of time on that didn't matter in the end or vise versa?

    Congrats, Congrats, Congrats. Share what makes you happy!

  • I am just so happy to know that you are married. This is a great happy ending to a wonderful trip in wedding planning.

    I would love to know what was the best thing a guest said to you at the wedding.

  • Chantelle

    How did you remain present and in the moment? Sometimes during big events its easy to get swept up in all the details and stress…any advice on how you stayed centered and grounded?

  • Congratulations and welcome back, Meg!

    With my wedding only about one month away, I'd like to give you a big Thank You for always being honest and helping me stay on target and remember why I'm marrying this man – how easy it is to forget the important stuff!

    What I want to know is, how did the evening wind down? Did people naturally know it was time to go home? Or did the music/DJ/beer situation dictate it?

  • Well… I haven't read the other questions, but I want to know what your first thought on the morning of the big day was. You know… you wake up and think…???

  • I look at that photo and read all the glitter in your words and it makes me so happy and excited. Well done both of you!

  • 107 comments!! Ack! forgive me if this has been asked before, but was there a moment in the day where you thought to yourself, "I never want to forget this. exact. moment. Remember it!"?

  • Hi Meg,

    Just back from 2 1/2 blissful weeks of my own, and I totally get having a hard time writing about your wedding. But what you have written already is filled with such insight, that I am really looking forward to hearing about it, from your perspective.

    What I am wondering (and maybe its been asked, I skimmed through some, but not all comments) is, what really memorable, unique, wonderful things happened that could have never been planned?

  • I love that picture of the kids with you! In a later post, you mention a four year old sitting in your lap. How'd you incorperate/include the kids? My family is a huge multi-generational family, and I want to be able to include them more then a kids table and a ring bearer and flower girl. What I would LOVE is for my sister, who is going to be my matron of honor, and also has a newborn, to be comfortable enough to hold the baby during the ceremony if needed.

  • Meg

    We didn't actually do a single thing to incorporate kids Greta. We just love kids, and I'm really really good with kids, and we were ourselves, and they climbed in and out of my lap all day… as they do in real life. I'll have more stories and pictures later (when I get pictures), but I guess what I'm saying is if you like kids, and you act like yourself, you don't need to do anything. If that makes sense?

  • how about the Jewish stuff? did you wear a veil? do a Bedekin? yihud? etc.

    I imagine that for our yihud we'll just bouncing for a few minutes saying "OMG, we're married!" over and over again before we realize "crap, we should shove some food in our faces while we still can" and then go rejoin the party.

    also, when did you chose to take all the family photos that everyone takes? did you even do them? how did you feel about the timing?

  • It’s onerous to find educated individuals on this subject, however you sound like you understand what you’re talking about! Thanks