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Cynical Wedding Marketing: The Paper Edition

On the most basic level, my problem with mass media wedding marketing tends to be this: it’s selling you fear. Instead of us all taking this wedding formula – I’ll start with the basics (partner, vows, officiant, family, clothes) and then add on the things that I’m into (pick from: food, photography, cake, flowers, guests, music, attendants, etc) we all get told “OH MY GOD YOU HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING OR YOU WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH AND YOUR WEDDING WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH AND PEOPLE WILL HATE IT AND YOUR MARRIAGE WILL SUCK” Lovely.

So, along those lines, I had to share this bit of (actually pretty hilarious) wedding marketing that reader Amber passed along:

Imagine that you have just crossed over into the twilight zone; you’re standing in the middle of a big blank white sheet of paper. You need to tell everyone something exceedingly special about your upcoming event…but when you go to shout it out to the world…nothing appears but the echo of bland and colorless…nobody listens… they forget to save the date… and worse, they don’t show up for your special day. Yikeeeeeesss…

Because yes. We all know what happens when your invites are boring. People don’t come to your wedding.

Oh wait. Clarification: assh*les don’t come to your wedding. Which actually means… you win.

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