Dress, Offered IX

Robin has been planning to give her dress away for oh…. six months? A year now? And she finally pulled me aside at the last book club and was like, “But Meg, it has a little… stain.” And I laughed and told her it was fine. And then she sent me pictures of her dress and I just melted. I said I wanted to win it so I could pet it. I said it was the prettiest dress ever. But alas, I’m not a size 10-12, and I’m not getting married. So one of you is going to be very very lucky. The rules are the same as always: Leave a comment about why you’d like to receive the dress. Robin will selct the recipient (with occasional lobbying from me… as hard as I try not to). The recipient pays for shipping, and promises to send Robin a picture of them wearing it, full of joy. Hopefully the recipient will come back as a wedding graduate too, but that’s encouraged, not required (but we’ve never had a dress recipient grad post yet. Snifff!). Here we go:

I am thrilled to announce I would like to give my dress to someone in the APW community.  Mostly, because this really has been a community for me. At the Offbeat Bride book reading/APW meetup, another APW reader asked why people share their wedding stories, and wondered if it was a self-promotion kind of thing.  I spoke with her afterward, and shared my perspective.  I wouldn’t say that I’m shy, but I’m also not one for self-promotion.  I’m a sometimes, but not frequent, APW commenter (and tend not to share the personal, the emotional), I don’t have a blog, and I worried about being uncomfortable as the potential center of attention on my wedding day.  But I knew I wanted to share a wedding graduate post, because if there was any possibility that I could say something that would prove meaningful, or helpful, to a single APW reader, then I wanted to do it.  I didn’t have wedding elves, and I was on the opposite coast of family and friends, so I couldn’t really DIT either.  But I read APW every day, and emailed Meg to say, Getting a tent is too crazy for us!  Should I change my name?  Why the f*ck can’t we find a rabbi?  And, my favorite, from six days before the wedding “I’m (mostly) rockin’ some serious serenity.”   Since then, I’ve hung out with some amazing APW ladies in the bay area, and emailed with some other folks who went through similar engagement/relocation scenarios.

When I was planning, I would say, “I hope my wedding isn’t the happiest day of my life—because there’ so much life left, and I don’t want this day to be the best one.  ONE of the best days, but not the very best.”  So.  I was REALLY happy in this dress, but I don’t need it anymore—because I have new days, and new outfits ahead of me.  I hope someone else can find their wedding Zen, and celebrate their marriage with total joy wearing this dress.

About the dress.  It’s a Watters gown, size 12 (probably more like street size 10), Style name/number Delicias/4064b in a pale ivory.  I’m 5’3” and wore a 2.75” heel, so this would work for short ladies, or average height ladies who aren’t planning on a high heel.  There’s basically no fabric in the hem so I don’t think it could be let out.  It’s silk organza so it’s REALLY lightweight and comfy, and you could easily pee by yourself. It didn’t have a ton of alterations, mostly nips and tucks around the rib cage/bust area.  It has a small sweep train, with hooks for a simple bustle that could be changed to something else, or you could cut off the train.  Bonus for the busty—there is Velcro sewn-in to the bodice (and I had Velcro on my bra) to make sure everything stayed well tucked.   It’s kind of hard to tell in the pictures, but the detailing is made of bits of grosgrain ribbon and organza.  There is a very small, and very faint stain on the back of the dress towards the bottom.  I don’t think it’s noticeable until you’re up close (and who’s up close to the back and bottom of your dress?), but, it is there.  And the cleaners tried twice to get it out, so it’s not getting any better.

PS – Robin sent me this email a few days ago, and I asked her if I could use it, because it so perfectly summed up what The Sisterhood of The Traveling Dress is about. Plus, it made me cry:

Getting ready for work this morning, I said to Ronnen, this week is my dress giveaway.  And he got all nostalgic, and said I should keep it, and that he wanted to see me in it again…and, well if you’re not going to keep it you should sell it…and how will you know about the person who’s getting it…etc…etc

What I forgot to say in my post- but remembered to say this morning to Ronnen, is that my Nana always said, “It’s nice to be nice.”

That settled it. One, because she’s right.  Two, because I cry about her at least once a week since she died in March, and Three, because (fun-fact!) Ronnen and I met on jdate in 2005.  And it said in my profile, “My Nana says it’s nice to be nice, and I agree.”

Photos by: Larissa Cleveland

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