4 Tips for Ensuring You (Actually) Love Your Engagement Ring

Hint: Talk about it before you buy it #Feminisim

by Maddie Eisenhart, Chief Revenue Officer

This is a paid post in partnership with Macy’s Star Signature Diamond™ Collection 

APW + Macy's logo

Sparkling macy's star signature diamond engagement ring

I’ve had enough friends get engaged over the last few years to know that it’s not always easy to apply feminist ideals to the delicate art of getting engaged. Maybe you want an egalitarian proposal, but your partner really wants to surprise you. Maybe you wish you could both wear engagement rings, but your partner isn’t that into jewelry. There are all kinds of expectations to grapple with—from society’s to your partner’s to, of course, your own—which might bump up against those feminist ideals in ways that surprise you. And when you couple those expectations with the fact that engagements are “supposed” to be shrouded in mystery and surprise, it’s tempting to ignore the little piece of your gut that’s telling you that you have thoughts and opinions about all of it, for the sake of not making waves.

Except that’s a bad idea! Don’t do that! And especially don’t do that if you have thoughts and opinions about your engagement ring. Because out of society, your partner, and you, guess which one of you has to wear that bad boy for the next forever years? Spoiler alert: It’s you. Which is why today we’ve partnered with Macy’s and the new Macy’s Star Signature Diamond™ Collection to give you some tips for choosing an engagement ring and communicating those wants with your partner. Macy’s has a whole range of engagement rings and wedding bands to choose from (including this one that I’m obsessed with, and also this wedding band that I definitely need), and just introduced their new Macy’s Star Signature Diamond™ Collection, which is a special kind of ultra faceted design that is suuuper sparkly. But before I go shopping, here are my essential dos and don’ts for making sure the ring you end up with is one you actually like.

hands cupped together, catching confetti wearing engagement ring

Do: start by giving yourself permission to care

The first and most important conversation you need to have around your engagement is with yourself. (Are you there God? It’s me, Maddie.) So start by pushing away any thoughts (or annoying relatives) telling you that talking about your engagement or your engagement ring is too pushy or will ruin the surprise. In fact, this might be the most important piece of advice I have around engagements and proposals, period. Having an opinion, and voicing that opinion, does not make you:

  • Pushy
  • Ruin the surprise
  • Take away your partner’s joy
  • Threaten the very fabric of our existence

And just in case it needs to be said out loud, the above applies to having an opinion about when you get engaged too. Except double.

macy's star signature diamond engagement ring sitting on a disco ball

don’t: feel pressured to become an engagement ring expert

Reading up on engagement rings always makes me feel like I need to have a PhD in gemology. There are always new cuts to learn, and I will never understand the classification around quality. And that’s fine! If you want to know exactly what you’re getting in your jewelry, by all means, do your homework. But if you don’t? It’s totally fine to go by “I like that because it’s [pretty, ethical, affordable, fill in the blank here].” For me, I mostly cared about the shape of my ring. (My hands look like a toddler’s. I’m picky about what goes on them.) Otherwise, I figured if it looked good to the naked eye, I probably would love it. So I gave Michael broad laymen’s terms for what I was looking for (rectangle, vintage-ish), and he took it from there.

vintage halo macy's star signature diamond engagement ring sitting on a compactwoman drinking out of a disco ball cup wearing a vintage inspired halo engagement ring

Do: Think about more than just aesthetics

But before you get too deep into the aesthetics (I know, so tempting), ask yourself what you want out of the experience of choosing a ring. Do you want to pick out your own ring? Would you rather get engaged without a ring and then shop together? How about designing your ring together? Do you have ideas about what you like in an engagement ring, but still want it to be (mostly) a surprise?

Once you’ve answered those questions for yourself, ask your partner the same things. Do your expectations match up? Great! Proceed accordingly. If not? Well then you’ve already got the perfect conversation starter for getting on the same page.

macy's vintage inspired halo star signature diamond engagement ring on purple gradient background

Don’t: Shy away from being direct

I took an indirect approach to picking my engagement ring (see above). And while I love my ring, if I were getting engaged now, I’d be much more direct about what I want. One of my favorite APW comments of all time is from a reader named Violet, on the subject of engagements and proposals. She said, “Honestly, the only guy I expect to read my mind is my coffee guy. In basically all other situations in life, mind reading is an ineffective strategy. Don’t leave something as major as a proposal up to the uncertainty of hoping you get it right.”

Um, can I get an amen?

Because at least for me, getting exactly what I want is even better than a surprise almost-what-I-wanted. (Seriously, very expensive surprises often do not go well.) So go ahead and put together that Pinterest board. Send your partner those links. Go into the store together. Try things on. And feel no shame in your game.

woman touching her shoulder, showing off her engagement ring

One of these days, I’d like it if we could undo all the cultural expectations around engagements and proposals altogether and treat the process like any other normal aspect of your relationship. (Do you normally surprise each other with gifts that cost several hundreds or thousands of dollars? Wonderful, you do you. Is your jam something more like a deep conversation and mutual agreement, leading to fewer credit card bill payments full of mild regret? Yay, in my fantasy world, society supports that too!) Wouldn’t that be a great way to signify your commitment to each other, to start the rest of your life together the way you intend on spending it?

But until that happens, I’ll settle for quietly undermining the system bit by shiny bit.

So start with a conversation, or two, or ten, and go from there.

macy's star signature diamond engagement ring resting on a field of amethyst

If you’re just starting your engagement ring search, Macy’s has a great wedding and engagement ring resource center chock full of all the knowledge (and pretty) you might want. Check out their no-PhD-required guide to engagement ring terms, peruse and ogle their engagement ring designs, wedding bands, and matching sets, or sit side-by-side with your partner while you explore the design-a-ring feature together. And then? Do what you damn well please.

Did you talk to your partner about what you wanted in an engagement ring? What conversations helped you both get what you wanted out of the process?

Macy's logo

This post was sponsored by Macy’s. The new Macy’s Star Signature Diamond™ Collection was designed specifically for Macy’s and is cut with 73-facets to make it extra sparkly. (It’s the first 73-facet round diamond in the U.S. to receive a Very Good cut grade from the International Institute of Diamond Grading & Research.) Plus you can rest assured that every ring in the Macy’s Star Signature Diamond™ Collection is conflict free and reliably sourced (IIDGR only grades and inscribes diamonds that meet the United Nations’ mandated World Diamond Council Kimberley Process). Click here to explore the new Macy’s Star Signature Diamond™ Collection, including our personal pick, this vintage-feeling vintage-feeling halo engagement ring.

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Photography & Styling: Maddie Eisenhart for A Practical Wedding

Maddie Eisenhart

Maddie is APW’s Chief Revenue Officer. She’s been writing stories about boys, crushes, and relationships since she was old enough to form shapes into words, but received her formal training (and a BS) from NYU in Entertainment and Mass Media in 2008. She now spends a significant amount of time thinking about trends on the internet and whether flower crowns will be out next year. A Maine native, she currently lives on a pony farm in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband Michael, their son Lincoln, and an obnoxious mastiff named Gaia. Current hair color: Natural (gasp!)

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  • Ashweck

    I am the only person I know who chose her own engagement ring and the only person I know who is 100% without reservations in love with it. (Except for MAYBE my newly engaged friend.) Which is ironic because I didn’t want one. He really wanted me to have one and so our compromise was he could buy me a ring of my choosing, but I got to propose. I also have fairly specific needs in terms of what I wear because of what I do for work — there’s only so much playdough a person can use before you get tired of cleaning it out of prongs.

    But yes, everyone should have the engagement ring experience of their dreams, even if that means no ring at all!

    • L.

      I also essentially chose my own engagement ring – we placed an order for a custom ring based on a couple of similar rings I’d found on Etsy and loved. Can’t wait for him to propose! (Because he’s decided he doesn’t want me to know when he’s actually going to propose…but I can know that the ring is being made and approximately when it will be ready for him to pick up, based on what the designer told us during our appointment, LOL.)

      • Jewels

        Omg literally my situation 😂😂😂 like I knew the day he was picking it up and so I know it’s in his possession now, and I know it will likely be in January (which is the next time I see him, we’re long distance.)

        • L.

          Hahaha! They’re so weird sometimes, aren’t they? :P I’m really not sure when he’s actually going to propose. He joked about putting it in my stocking at Christmas, or doing a box-within-a-box-within-a-box thing at Christmas. But our 6-year anniversary is toward the end of February, too. I tried to tell him that since I’ll know he has it in his possession, he can’t put it off for a long time! Like, he can’t wait six months or something, because I might die after already waiting six years! Haha!

          • Jewels

            Yeah waiting sucks I’m not going to lie, he picked it up in August and the next time I saw him was November but it didn’t happen then, so I knew it would be probably be January! And we’ve only been dating two years so your waiting will probably be worse lol! But I don’t know which day or how so to me it’s enough of a surprise! Plus I can prepare and pick cute outfits to wear each day😉

          • L.

            Fingers crossed that it happens soon for both of us! <3

          • Ashweck

            My problem after I knew he had the ring! I hated wondering every time he asked if I wanted to meet him at the river after work —is this IT?— so I told him I was going to do it.

    • Eenie

      I designed my own and love it – it wasn’t so expensive that I feel bad only wearing it occasionally now. And when I do wear it I love it.

      • Ashweck

        I picked two very similar rings in wildly different price points. He liked the more expensive ring but I liked the idea of saving the money. We went with the less expensive ring (not that it was cheap, it just wasn’t gobsmackingly expensive) and when I saw the pricier ring in person a few months after we got engaged, I was so relieved. Mine suits me so much more

    • Mmmmkay

      Our conversation about the ring specifically went along the lines of:
      Hey, if we’re serious about getting engaged, I want this ring (sent him a link with the ring) from this jeweler because they ethically source their metals and stones. Oh, and since we’re going to NY for vacation, why don’t we stop by this showroom to see what it might look like in person? I had started to feel like I was orchestrating this whole thing, but really, I was making sure we made smart choices with a huge purchase.

      After the visit to the showroom, he figured out the details and ordered it. I was willing to throw down some of my own money in on the ring, but he really wanted to buy it himself.

      I’m pretty direct with what I want, especially if it’s going to be something I plan on wearing everyday since I don’t wear jewelry at a baseline, it’s going to be a significant purchase (it was), and I don’t want any regrets with it since I wasn’t going to be footing the bill.

      We’d also had MONTHS of conversations about getting engaged before any of this happened, so I knew it was in the works, it was just down to how and when he was going to propose.

      For us, communicating what we want and need at the moment is really important and how we work together as a team.

      • Ashweck

        We had months of talking, too. Then he got into a (minor) motorcycle accident that landed him in the hospital and I told him it was happening.

  • theteenygirl

    In my opinion, the only people I wanted to be surprised about the engagement were my friends. I was the first one to bring up marriage (as in, lying in bed one night after realizing our continent month together month apart long distance relationship was no longer feasible I said, “What do you think about getting married?”) and that opened a conversation that lasted a few months about all facets of what getting engaged and married would mean for us. It was not pushy! And that conversation included the ring!.I’m really indecisive so I would never have been able to pick one out if we went shopping together so I wanted to leave the ultimate decision up to him. He got the excitement of sort of surprising me, and I didn’t have a meltdown in a jewellery store – win win for us!

  • emilyg25

    I broke all the rules and skipped the engagement ring. I decided I’d rather put the money toward a really beautiful diamond wedding band—beyond aesthetics, exchanging rings during the wedding ceremony was extremely important to me. My fiance proposed with a bracelet, though he did end up finding a very simple (and cheap) silver and peridot ring for me to wear during the engagement. It sits in my jewelry box now. It’s a little awkward when people ask to see the ring, but I’m so happy with my wedding ring now!

  • laddibugg

    I had picked out a couple online, but when we got to the store I just wasn’t feeling them. A friend of my fiance’s had come with us, and she basically picked out my ring lol. I had picked out about three or four I liked the best and had him pick from there (friend’s ring choice was one of the three and that’s the one he chose).

    I wasn’t too stressed because he’s promised me an upgrade at some point, but I do love my ring–I think I just want the same style but with one center stone instead of clusters.

  • Sarah

    “I have a Pinterest board for this. Use it.” -> I got a ring I love and he got to “surprise” me with it.

    • Pickle

      Same! And he co-designed a ring that wasn’t on the board but was inspired by it and perfectly captured what I wanted. Pinterest ftw!

    • Lawyerette510

      Yep, in a similar vein, we knew which jeweler we would use (a family friend), so I made a “wish list” at the store of all the rings I liked. Then he worked with the jeweler to design a ring for me, with them using the wish list as a guide.

    • theteenygirl

      That’s what we did! I made a secret pinterest board and shared it with him. It had a lot of conflicting styles but I loved them all equally. It was a surprise but not a huge surprise.

    • Abs

      We each had Pinterest boards and it was so helpful! We figured out what things we liked and then talked through why we liked them. The ring I got him wasn’t on his board, but it incorporated the things he said he wanted and was totally different than I would have chosen all on my own. The ring he got me was a version of something on my board, customized to be even more what I wanted.

      Also–I thought I would only wear it while we were engaged, and then maybe for special occasions, but I like it so much I’m wearing it to work most days now. Never thought I was really a gemstones on my fingers person, but you never know.

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  • L.

    My boyfriend and I just went ring shopping on the 17th! We intended to go to a couple of locally-owned jewelry stores so I could try on styles I’d found online and liked in pictures, but then, as we were leaving the first jewelry store, I remembered how indecisive I am and realized that doing a lot of shopping around wasn’t going to make it any easier for me to decide. My boyfriend is very much the “tell me exactly what you want, and I’ll get you exactly that” type. We’d actually come up with a design with one of the designers while we were there, based on a couple of rings I found on Etsy that I’d loved. Unfortunately, they had nothing similar in their stock for me to try on in person, so fingers crossed that I love it as much as I do in pictures – because my boyfriend emailed the designer the next day and asked to proceed with the order, after we decided to nix more shopping around. :) So, finally, an engagement is in my near future, after almost six years together! And I’m so, SO happy to support family-owned, local small business, to have a moissanite center stone, and to have conflict-free diamond accent stones. I would’ve liked recycled metal, too, and I didn’t ask about that, but the ethics of the stones were more important to me, so as long as I have those, I’m happy.

  • I actually went to try on rings by myself after looking at a few online, showed my partner photos of the ones I liked, and he gave feedback before I settled on what I wanted. I generally find jewelry stores super intimidating, but I think going by myself took the pressure off somewhat because there’s less of that cultural expectation of “hey, this couple is picking out wedding rings.” Our finances also meant that I bought my own ring.

  • anicolea

    (long time reader and comment stalker, first time poster!)

    We definitely had ten or twenty or fifty conversations about this. Most directly initiated by me, after giving myself permission to care! Casting aside cool girl “whatevs I don’t care about jewelry” is hard sometimes. But after being shaped by allll the APW pre-engagement and ring advice articles, now I feel like I can “check the boxes” on this sage advice!

    We wanted egalitarian, but are both pretty ambivalent about an e-ring for him, mainly because of the added cost and not really wanting to tackle the “No we didn’t get married yet it’s not a wedding band” conversation. Both of our biggest priorities were small business (esp. woman-owned), not a diamond, sentimental meaning to us specifically, and a practical price for a doctoral student and a fresh-out-of-grad-school-working-at-a-nonprofit to manage.

    We shopped together at one family-owned store to look at styles and get sized and ask a billion questions, and then it was to the internet! Bless the internet.

    Because I’m the one who will be wearing this forever, I had no problem taking on the brunt of research to find the perfect thing, and I finally did, like, last week. So our compromise with cultural expectations is this: we’re splitting the price of this custom piece for equality’s sake (though we’re definitely pooling our $ in the future, this seemed fitting for our first major joint financial decision). I’m making the initial deposit, then handing everything off to him so it will actually still be sort of a secret exactly when/where the proposal happens. I know exactly what it’s going to look like, and other than the exact timing, there aren’t any surprises for either of us. We’re both very thoughtful, calculating people who don’t surprise each other with gifts anyways, so it definitely reflects our relationship.

    Hooray for almost escaping pre-engagment and knowing about it!

    • Tera

      Are you getting it from the family-owned store or a shop online? I kind of feel bad for that store after they answered your billions of questions and sized you, if you bought it online. =/

      • Ashweck

        We got our wedding bands from a family-owned store who work only with independent American artists, most of whom are also couples. We did all of our shopping in person (and they were AMAZING so if anyone is looking in Boston, I have recs) but they also have an extensive online collection that combines the merchandise of both storefronts and then some. Maybe it was a similar scenario?

        • jem

          Which store in Boston!?!? I mean, not shopping for an engagement ring but I loveeeee jewelry (is it quandrum?)

      • S

        I kind of think it’s perfectly fine and normal to go somewhere to have a look and see what interests you and what looks good and to get your questions answered. If you’re walking in knowing you’ll never in a million years buy from that store, it’s a bit sketchy, but otherwise I think that’s just…shopping. Like, how many women go wedding dress shopping to figure out what they like, prepared to make a purchase if they find something that’s perfect but also knowing there’s a good chance they might not buy from that store but from another store or online? Lots. Buying something online when you have no idea how it looks like/fits in real life is something not a lot of people feel comfortable with. Obviously I think if you’re going to a store just to learn more about your style and you know for sure you’re not going to make the purchase there, you should pick a bigger chain store (that goes for anything, dresses, rings, etc) so you’re not wasting the time/resources of a smaller family operation. But I really do think the general idea is, yeah, NBD.

      • anicolea

        Yes, we’re buying from a small woman-owned business. We made it really clear when we visited the store that it was our first time ever shopping for rings, and we were just trying to get some ideas!

  • Jan

    Yes to absolutely all of this. Don’t be afraid to care, or to vocalize what you want. We got engaged without a ring, and then we “picked one out together”. That basically just means we talked about budget, we browsed at some stores for like two hours, I found a ring I liked online, and he was like, “You sure? Cool.” Not the most romantic, but I got a pretty ring out of it so anyone who judges can suck it.

  • Cdn icecube

    He originally wanted it to be a complete surprise and believed that I would love whatever he chose. Then he saw his brother propose with a custom ring that his (now-wife) completely hates and everyone knows that she hates it. After that he quickly came around to me needing to be heavily involved in the process. Which ended up being perfect because I have something I completely love and the day we spent ring shopping was a really special day for us.

    • Ashweck

      I remember how invested my friend’s husband was in picking the ring on his own. I told her after they got engaged that it was lovely and she sort of shrugged said she didn’t love it, because if you put in a lineup with 100 other random engagement rings, she wouldn’t know which one was hers. That was eye-opening for me.

  • Katharine Parker

    I definitely went the “get a phd in diamond buying” route for my engagement ring, and je ne regrette rien. Figuring out the best diamond for the best price was really fun for me, and my now-husband was happy I was happy. It was also fun to design the ring together, since my husband has great taste and I loved his idea for my ring–it turned out beautifully.

  • rebecca

    We did a weekend long shop-a-thon of women-owned jewelers in NYC (Mociun–>Erica Wiener–>Anna Sheffield–>Doyle & Doyle). I narrowed it down to 3 options and then he picked 1 (although, I think we both kinda knew which one it was going to be. Unlike with my dress I *did* have a moment with my ring). It was a really good combination of surprise plus getting something that was exactly what I wanted and we had a lot of really good/important conversations while we were shopping.

  • PeaceIsTheWay

    I agree wholeheartedly with the first paragraph here — it’s tricky to reconcile feminist ideals with the distinct gender roles embedded in engagement rings — but I find it a stretch to say choosing your own engagement ring is feminist.

    At the risk of sounding defensive: the only discussion my husband and I had about rings before he proposed was about how I did not want to choose my own ring. We did discuss our mutual commitment to spending the rest of our lives together, which I think (and I’m sure Maddie would agree!) is way more important than a ring. I was not comfortable implying that he should buy me a ring, I wanted him to choose what he found beautiful, and I ultimately would have been happy had he proposed with a plastic ring or no ring at all, as long as we ended up married. So I guess you could say I got what I wanted, since I wanted him to do what he wanted, and this is what I got. By the (false) logic of “woman gets what she wants = feminism”, I suppose it was even feminist!

    To be clear, I am not disparaging all the other commenters who designed/chose or helped design/choose their engagement rings. I believe each couple should do what works for that couple, and if both partners want to participate in choosing a ring for one or both to wear, or if both partners agree that one should have a greater say – great. I just don’t see how choosing your own ring is any more feminist than being surprised with a beautiful gift.

    • rebecca

      I think what’s feminist is expressing your full voice in conversations about major changes in your life. You did that by expressing that you didn’t want to choose your ring, other people did it by selecting a designer or a ring or making a Pinterest board or whatever worked for them. I’m often guilty of not reading carefully enough so maybe I missed something, but I think what Maddie said was a bad idea was “ignor(ing) the little piece of your gut that’s telling you that you have thoughts and opinions about all of it”–if you don’t have that piece of gut to ignore, it’s no problem. I think wanting something that’s a direct expression of how your partner sees your taste can absolutely be equally beautiful.

      • PeaceIsTheWay

        I think you are completely right. I initially read this too defensively, because I didn’t choose my ring. It’s definitely a problem if you’re ignoring your own thoughts and opinions.

        There is also a consumerist/capitalist element here that I can’t quite put my finger on. At least not without being a huge hypocrite, since I ended up with an expensive diamond ring (and wonderful husband, which is more important!) I feel like there is a point to make about the intersectionality of gender and class as systems of inequality … but I’m not smart enough to make it, haha.

        • Abs

          Yeah, I feel that. There’s something like that there in a lot of APW content. I think it’s this weird mix of a) weddings/engagements are a time that a lot of people spend a lot of money on stuff in our culture and b) many (but not all) people are actually fine with that, and are just concerned with how the money is spent. So APW is then playing the role of directing the stream of money, or talking about how to direct the stream of money, and who makes the choices, etc. Which is what this is.

          But then there’s a whole other group of people, on here and elsewhere, for whom the problem isn’t choosing how to spend money, it’s not having the money to spend and how the whole system is deeply warped. And from that perspective the “choosing your own diamond = feminism” thing feels really tone-deaf and irrelevant.

          Not that there are actually two distinct groups–it’s obviously a spectrum. Mostly I think APW does a good job walking the line, but the sponsorship of the post can feel a little weird sometimes. Everyone’s gotta make a living, though.

          • PeaceIsTheWay

            Yes, exactly! Thanks for articulating this. Some days I’m closer to one end of the spectrum and can appreciate the incremental changes that make a real difference for many… and other days this feels complicit with the whole deeply warped system and I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

          • I agree it’s difficult, because of how APW is funded; articles like this are balancing the commercial need of the magazine with the social needs of it’s audience, and when it’s someone like Macy paying the bills it’s going to skew to the needs of a specific part of the audience. I feel like a larger proportion of the sponsors now skew towards expensive products, who’ve been attracted to APW because it’s successful; to remain successful APW need them, but there’s a risk of alienating part of their core audience.

  • Jewels

    Thank you, thank you, thank you. This article just made me feel so much better. I picked out my ring, and even contributed financially (I work and he’s still in school). I was pretty open with my family and extended family about my picking out my ring and our general timeline of engagement and marriage because I was super excited about it. But a few family members gave me a lot of flack about it and asked (on multiple occasions, the last being on thanksgiving) if my boyfriend “knew what he was getting into.” Aka, I’m apparently super high maintenance just because I wanted to be involved in the process and because we pretty much know when we’re getting married. I know they meant it jokingly, but it really really hurt, especially since I have an anxiety disorder and I hate being a burden on anyone. So I broke down a few days after because I was worried and thought maybe my boyfriend wasnt that excited to be engaged and that i was just too much to handle (partially because a year long relationship in college had ended because the guy couldn’t handle my anxiety). So my boyfriend being so amazing was very reassuring and great. But yeah it was just painful on so many levels and I was still kind of smarting from it but this made me feel better! And I’m super excited because I think he’ll be proposing in January which is when I next see him! (We’re long distance.) also my sapphire ring is gorgeous, and he’s getting a really cool wood engagement ring too! Yay for being involved in the process and loving our engagement rings ☺️

  • AmandaBee

    “Is your jam something more like a deep conversation and mutual agreement, leading to fewer credit card bill payments full of mild regret?”

    This was us! A series of conversations, a mutual agreement to get married, and then (months later because of budgetary concerns) purchasing an engagement ring together. It’s not for everyone, but it was a very “us” way to get engaged and I 100% love my ring. And most people have either been supportive of that or held their tongue, for those who are worried about what others will think.

    Two things I’m glad we did when it comes to ring-buying specifically:
    – Shopping in person. Even if you want a surprise ring, I HIGHLY recommend going in person to try some rings on and narrow down what you like. What I liked on my finger was really different than what I liked in theory. I’m super glad we went in person instead of me just sending him some links.
    – Talk about the ethics of the purchase, and any parameters (conflict-free, no new gemstones, small business) either of you has. My husband was really uncomfortable with buying a new diamond for a variety of reasons, and even though I wear the ring, he has a hand in purchasing it – so while the style of the ring is personal, the ethnics of buying it is a conversation I think is worth having together.

  • uggggh

    Please, for the love of god, stop trying to use #feminism to sell products to women and call it empowerment. It’s embarrassing.

  • Lena Mattsson

    Several years ago, I worked as an appraiser for antique jewelry, and completely fell in love with this awesome little 1920’s hexagon diamond ring. I was obsessed about it, and kinda knew that “if I don’t buy this one, I probably will regret it forever”.

    It was not an expensive piece at all, appraised at around USD 350, but to me THAT WAS A FORTUNE at that time in my life. I pretty much decided to be young and dumb, buying it regardless. (this was before shops like Doyle & Doyle, Erie Basin and Erica Weiner really started out with antique jewelry, and today I think the appraisal of the ring would be totally different just because antique rings is a thing now! )

    When it went up for auction, I bidded like there was no tomorrow. I was a wreck. Someone kept outbidding me the entire time, and I was cursing like a sailor while updating the bids. I might have screamed at my phone. Then it rang, and it was my boyfriend saying “for the love of god, will you please stop bidding?”.

    He had pretty much picked up something in my voice while talking about this ring, that it was special, and decided to give it to me as a Christmas present. Not for engagement purpose at all. Awesomely cute, but kinda naive, he thought that he would place a small bid riiiight over mine, and win it. Of course he didn’t take into account that I had my mind set on it, and kept rising. No bigger financial harm done, thankfully, and we actually decided to split the cost between us evenly. Bit it is still the nicest and most thoughtful gift I have ever received. And this story made this ring even more special to us.

    So, when we got engaged now in 2017, I really knew that I only wanted that ring. Our ring. We just let it switch status from treasured gift to engagement ring. I get happy every damn time I look at it.

    • PeaceIsTheWay

      What an awesome story!

    • Ashlah

      This is the best story.