Non-traditional Bachelorette Party Ideas

No strippers. Minimal penis straws.

by Najva Sol, Brand Director

Non-traditional Bachelorette Party Ideas

“I don’t want a bachelorette party.” That’s what my best friend, N, said to me last year, right after she asked me to be her maid of honor. Turns out, she didn’t really think she “qualified” to have a bachelorette: she only had a handful of truly close gals (and one’s her sister), she not excited by the idea of strange strippers (she has enough stripper friends, thanks), getting wasted at an overpriced club sounds boring, and… to put it bluntly, “I don’t see the point.”

That’s when I told her about a bachelorette I’d been to a few months prior, where five of us went to a cabin in the woods, meditated, gossiped about marriage fears, swapped embarrassing stories about the lady of the evening (because, obviously this happens when your college and childhood pals collide), drank champagne, and soaked in a hot tub. It wasn’t an empty excuse to act a fool (not that there’s anything wrong with that!). But this, this was a getaway with people my friend hand-picked to join her on the next phase of her journey. I was honored to be part of it.

Needless to say, I’m very persua-suave (can that be a word, please?) and N rescinded her bachelorette moratorium. We had a blast: started with her favorite latte spot, headed out for some sweaty sauna time at the Russian baths, had a wine tasting and photoshoot in a vineyard, grabbed some adult milkshakes, and topped it off with dinner at her favorite BYOB hole-in-the-wall Italian spot. Partway through, she gave me a huge (wine enhanced) hug and thanked me for talking her into spending the day together.

So yes: some wedding sites still tell you that a bachelorette party needs to be yet another thing that requires extensive penis, pomp, and circumstance. If that’s what makes you happy, go for it. But the truth is: a bachelorette is just an opportunity to have someone else plan a situation where most of your best friends go to one place and do an awesome activity together. Do you know how often I wish friend X from city Y could meet friend B from city C? That’s what this is about. And not just friends. It can be your favorite sister, aunt, mom, teacher, cousin, uncle (who said it had to be girls-only?)—all of the people you want to get silly with before you jump into the great unknown.

A quick survey of APW staff’s favorite bachelorette party ideas included:

  • An evening of pizza and burlesque
  • Doing karaoke in a room full of hand-decorated balloons
  • A night of beer and boozy bowling
  • A sleepover spa day with a bagel brunch
  • Going country line dancing
  • Epic paintball adventure day

But then, obviously, Meg came along with her unbeatable bachelorette activity:

Clay Pigeon shooting. It was this crazy town in this weird spot in Northern California that seemed like it was out of a spooky Hitchcock movie. I think I’d told them I just wanted to shoot a gun. –Meg

Although, on that note, archery or capture the flag or indoor soccer or you know, anything with games could be fun. What about a Cards Against Humanity and Star Wars marathon? Clearly, I just want to plan alt bachelorettes forever. Nerd-party aspirations aside, the most important element isn’t what you do, it’s the company you keep (awwww).

So, Tell us, what did you do for your bachelorette? What’s the best bachelorette you’ve attended? What are some tips you have for all those maids of honor/best pals out there trying plan something super special? 

Najva Sol

Najva Sol is a queer Iranian-American writer, photographer, branding consultant, artist, and ex-poet.  She’s the token staff Slytherin and—while formally based in Brooklyn—tends to travel as much as possible. Storytelling is her life, but making chicken broth is a close second.

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  • Rebekah

    It was just my 2 bridesmaids and myself, and our original plan was to get up early and drive to the Grand Canyon to watch the sun rise. We opted for extra sleep, climbed on my parents’ roof and watched the sunrise from there with donut holes, mimosas in solo cups, and a superman onesie we all tried on and posed in. It was just right for us and our dynamic, time table, and relationship.

    • Costumes, cocktails, pasties, and an epic sunrise? I LOVE this.

  • Bsquillo

    My bachelorette party was super chill, and exactly what I needed the week before the wedding. My two bridesmaids rented a nice hotel room near Downtown Denver that was a close drive from all our gigs that evening (ha, musicians). We slept there, then went to this SWANK brunch the next morning in the hotel (it just so happened to be father’s day, so there was a spread of every food you could ever want), and then we all got massages and spent the afternoon being lazy by the hot tub. Pretty sweet.

    My husband also had a pretty non-traditional bachelor party, for what it’s worth. His friends took him to this specialty audio/turntable store (I know, #nerd), then record shopping, then to his favorite restaurant, and ended the night hanging at a house with a bunch of store-bought booze. Not surprisingly, the audio store had never had a bachelor party come through, so they insisted on taking pictures with my husband’s group and posting it on social media. Hilarious.

    • Right! Bachelor parties. I mean, that could work as a bachelorette for a few audio #nerds I know.

      Also, any party with a hot tub is a WIN.

  • newyork22

    The costs and expectations around bachelorette parties is why I was totally against having one. It’s not that I don’t want to spend time with girlfriends doing all the fun activities that were mentioned in this post, it’s just that I usually know going in that I will probably not be able to join them on their bachelorette parties and I feel horrible guilt at that knowledge. I am glad though that my bestie planned a small gathering with just three of us – we met early at a lovely bath house to beat the crowds, went to brunch with unlimited drinks, then split off in the middle of the afternoon to do our own things (which for me entailed picking out wedding bands with the hubby). It was the perfect amount of quality time and didn’t make me feel absurdly guilty or upset that we had collectively spent gobs of money. I haven’t yet been to a bachelorette party that I didn’t regret, mostly because all of them have involved the entire weekend and the folks planning the parties did so with minimal regard for people’s budgets. I’m the type who would rather gift generously, so it’s hard for me to be generous and then also make bachelorette parties happen. Food and drink are routinely at least $50 per person in NYC, so just that one meal is usually already a hurdle for me – forget about ponying up for everything else. Social spending is a real challenge and group outings I swear are the number one killer of budgets everywhere because as much as you love your friends, most of them are probably not on the same financial wavelength as you are.

    • Ugh, I feel you. I’m a serial bridesmaid, so budgeting for both bachelorette and wedding is a *thing*. I live in Brooklyn, and yep, $50 meals are why I often opt for potlucks (but you don’t always get to plan.) Yours sounds super low-key and perfect.

      • newyork22

        I am all for potlucks!!!! I get though that there a bit tough for some since not everyone has space. Ah the problems of big city life. I wish there was a way to lower the financial arms race – if everyone had all-out bachelorette parties and all out weddings and all out honeymoons and and and….i shudder to think about how we will all retire and be financially independent. It would bother me more that my friends are in a bad place when they’re older and have less runway to plug budget holes.

        • Abby

          I love potlucks for bachelorettes (or showers) where everyone brings a favorite dish along with the recipe– then everyone puts their recipe on a card and the bride gets a recipe box full of handwritten favorite recipes. Gift + party for under $20? Yes please!

    • Kate M

      I agree 110%. And I am in a pretty good place financially, so it is not that I can’t or won’t spend the money, I will. It is the assumptions. I am bridesmaid in a wedding coming up, and the bachelorette party was last weekend. The MOH organizing things, failed to mention that dinner was going to be split equally, that the bars all had covers, etc. I sent an email saying those things, but I felt like a jerk, but I wanted everyone to have an expectation of costs up front. That way people could pick and choose between the various planned activities if they were on a restricted budget.

      • newyork22

        I love that you sent the email spelling everything out because people seriously need to know! I always end up asking the planner how much things are with no shame. The worst is when you have to pony up for the bachelorette parties AND you have to bring a bridal shower gift AND there’s the lingerie party gift and the wedding gift – it just becomes untenable.

    • Kate

      “I’m the type who would rather gift generously, so it’s hard for me to be generous and then also make bachelorette parties happen.” — that’s an interesting perspective. Just speaking personally, I have fonder and stronger memories of the friends/family at my bachelorette than of most of the wedding gifts we got. But also THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR THE WONDERFUL WEDDING GIFTS :)

      • newyork22

        I struggle with this – the question of monetary v. emotional support. What I’ve realized though is that there is a very real possibility of public shaming when it comes to gifting at a group event. You don’t want to be that person who didn’t give something when everyone else gifted, and it’s worse when people know you are financially ok (in the sense that you can save and afford a normal life; I’m not insinuating being extremely wealthy). People tend to assume that as long as you have money in the bank account, of course you should do x,y,z without considering that someone may have long-term financial goals which have nothing to do with the event on hand. So when someone invites me and I know there’s the expectation of gifting on top of paying for the cost of the activities, then it becomes hard for me to show up at all because the cost of entry (monetary support) exceeds the limits of my mental sanity (emotional support). It would be hard for me to continue being a great friend if I were worried about my budget constantly, and these past few years have been crazy since everyone got married around the same time.

        • SamiSidewinder

          Scientifically speaking (aka you should still do what you want), studies have shown that we get a lot more enjoyment out of our money when it’s spent on experiences over things. Also when it’s spent on other people over yourself. The highest form of enjoyment is paying for experiences with people you care about.

          • Kate M

            My love language is quality time, so I am all about the experiences as gifts. Spending a day with people I love is the best and I tend to give activities as gifts as well when possible. But I think newyork22 is right in that the expectations of going to 3 or 4 wedding events with gifts and or travel is getting to be standard and it can be really hard to bow out gracefully, especially if you are perceived to be financially stable. Bachelorette parties seem to be becoming bigger and bigger splurges and they are also frequently planned as a surprise by someone who has no idea or consideration of the financial picture of the other attendants. And they are normally within a short time of the shower and the wedding. It is hard to say to the bride “I didn’t get you a wedding gift because I spent x amount on your shower, bachelorette and wedding apparel and so I had no money left over”. When I got married, I made it very clear that I did not want gifts from the bridal party as they were spending plenty of money just being in the wedding. It is just a hard situation, especially if the bridal party doesn’t all know each other because everyone is coming from a different and unknown place.

          • newyork22

            Bless – I wish more folks had been as understanding as you and specified that no gifts were expected (I have never received an invite to date with that kind of wording!). That would have made participation in the wedding festivities a tad bit easier.

          • meganfm

            This is why I give “experiences” to my mom every year for her birthday/Christmas instead of items. Since I don’t live at home anymore she LOVES when I take her out for afternoon tea or for manis together, way more than if I just bought her something.

          • newyork22

            I love gifting experiences! In the spirit of Marie Kondo and being careful about my physical items, I actuallly strive these days to only gift experiences! I put a lot of time and energy planning interesting outings on a normal basis, so this is a win-win because honestly? logistics are the worst part about planning anything and I’m happy to take on that grungy work for quality time:)

        • Kate

          That’s totally true. I hate all public gift-opening, not just for the possibility of public shaming, but that’s a big reason. There are just too many gifts associated with getting married, in general, assuming you do all the stuff – engagement party, shower, bachelorette, wedding?! It’s insane. We did have all of those things, but specifically said no gifts please for the engagement party (nothing fancy, in my parents’ backyard) and my bachelorette.

  • Nicole

    When planning a friend’s bachelorette party I made a similar comment about not wanting to have one myself and she told me she’d always assumed we’d go get pedicures or something low key and relaxing the day before the wedding. She wasn’t able to be at my wedding but the idea stuck. My mom and MIL, sister and SIL, and my bridesmaid went to get our nails done together. I wasn’t expecting this but the group got snacks and decorated the party room and made fun non-alcoholic drinks (I love alcoholic drinks but I can get pretty sleepy, so we waited until after the rehearsal to have drinks!). It was awesome.

    • YetAnotherMegan

      This is basically what we did for mine. I didn’t have a lot of friends able to travel in, but my MOH and bridesmaids (cousin and SIL) joined up with my mother and MIL two days before the wedding for mani/pedis and then went to dinner together and played a few games (my MOH was a serial MOH and had made a wedding bingo set). It was super relaxing and we all had a good time without going crazy. And we weren’t nearly as hungover as the guys at my husband’s bachelor party (as in not at all vs still pale and green the next afternoon for the rehearsal).

  • Sara

    My little sister planned my bachelorette party, and in planning/discussing it I told her that I wanted to do something that would be harder to pull off once I was married. So we went to Disneyland. My sister and I have a cool sixth sense when it comes to Disneyland going that other people just don’t get. And since my husband is a Disney fan as well, I knew it could be the last Disney trip for her and me alone. It was great, and much more valuable to me than some of the cultural alternatives.

  • Amanda L

    I was definitely not up for strippers or penile straws (though one or two did find their way to my hotel room). My four closest girlfriends met me in NYC for a weekend of touristy stuff (Sept 11 museum, Rockefeller Center to see the lit Christmas tree, Serendipity). My sister surprised me with a night of karaoke in a private room and we had a BLAST. If all my friends (or even several of them) lived in one city, I would have loved doing the same thing over the course of day instead of a weekend… it was a production, and it didn’t need to be, but I was very grateful for all they did.

    For my sister’s bachelorette, we rented a little cabin in the Finger Lakes (NY). We rented a limo to take us to different vineyards and then it dropped us off (decidedly tipsy-er) at a restaurant in a small town. We had a blast and there were zero penile straws in sight.

    Those two are hands-down my favorite bachelorette parties. The focus was on the friendships, not on the penii.

  • MrsK

    I have not had mine yet… and the girls are keeping it hush hush so I have no idea what is going to happen, just when. But! For a friend’s party me and a few other girls made up a scavenger hunt for the bride. Just came up with stupid and fun things to do… like find a stranger that has the same name as one of the wedding party and so on… So we told her if she gets everything right she will get a grand prize. Of course she got it all so we brought her back to the her apartment and handed her a travel bag… which she thought was packed with stuff for her honeymoon! Like sunscreen, flip flops, etc.. At the bottom of the bag we put letters from each of us with sentimental stuff, and she thought that’d be the end of that.
    The last letter was actually from all of us and said something along the lines of “You are probably wondering what this letter is, and we will tell you that in 5 days we are all flying for a mini vacation to Myrtle Beach!…” She was confused at first but then was jumping up and down :) We secretly planned a trip and got her time off at work.
    The trip was great, we relaxed, shopped, danced, drank some.. it was wonderful and no strippers!

  • Juliet

    BYOB MINI GOLF + PRIVATE ROOM KARAOKE. Easy peasy and sooo much fun.

    • Rachel

      Is that Peter Pan Mini-Golf? Love that place so much!

      • Juliet

        Sure is! I guess there’s no mistaking that creepy fairy.

  • Laura C

    My friends came in from out of town, but that was the only not-low-key aspect of mine. Mani-pedis at a place that let us bring in our own champagne; dinner at S’mac, which was chosen to be cheap, informal, and vegetarian-friendly; then a pretty regular bar, albeit one where I particularly like the cocktails. That was it. Maybe we relocated to a dive bar when the first place got crowded? I don’t remember (not because I was so drunk; because moving from bar 1 to bar 2 across the street was a standard move in my life at the time). And then brunch the next day.

    • Jen

      …Any chance you’d be willing to share the name of the mani pedi place? I kind of want to do that, and it appears we are in a similar locale!

      • Laura C

        I’ve moved since, but it was Jade Beauty and Day Spa on E. 34th. It was a few steps up from a basic nail salon but not a super-luxe day spa where you feel like you have to talk in a whisper. My MOH made the arrangements re bringing in champagne but I think she said when she called they offered it as an option.

        • Jen

          Thank you! I’m going to look into this!

  • anona

    Ha! I requested that we go to a pole dancing class, which we did, and it was a lot of fun! I was amazed by who was comfortable doing this, and who was not. We had such an awkward, amazing crew who went (awkward friends, childhood friends, lesbian friends, great crew!). We all had a great, boozy time.

  • shakes29

    My bridesmaids did a great job of simply planning a day doing things I loved. I’m a fitness junkie who loves to cook, so the day started with a spin class, followed by blowouts, and then they surprised me with a private cooking lesson complete with lots of wine. Afterwards, we hit up a local bar for some dancing and ended the night in my friend’s living room singing along to Mariah Carey. The best part? Having all my far-flung friends come together for one night.

  • KM

    Yup. Two ladies getting married meant no penis *anything* (though even if I were marrying a dude, I’d not be into that, thanksverymuch), and lots of mutual friends so we couldn’t imagine doing separate events. But we loved the idea of getting some of our favorites together before the wedding, so our friends coordinated a low-key picnic in Central Park followed by getting dressed with drinks in a Times Square hotel room, and dancing to some live music at a great club. It was the best of both worlds, and meant so much to us that friends spent some time celebrating with us in our city before our destination wedding. Also, I think one of the coordinating friends used her travel points to cover the cost of the shared hotel room, which was really great for those paying for the travel into the city, drinks, etc.

    • Meg Keene

      You know, they don’t really make a lot of vagina decorations. Which is probably just as well. I mean, I’m all for equal opportunity, but it seems less penis decorations might be the better move in this case….

  • Ellen

    I had a surprise, virtual bachelorette party organized by my amazing sister. For a few weeks boxes had been arriving at my house labeled “do not open until told otherwise.” Then one evening I answered Skype (at the time my sister told me to be home) and my closest friends were all there…7 people including myself…in 7 different cities. We chatted and then I opened the boxes in a prescribed order. Each was part of a more traditional bachelorette weekend. One had a sash and cocktail fixings. One had stuff to do my own manicure. One had stuff for breakfast in bed. Etc. It was awesome!

    • MC

      Awwww I LOVE this idea for long-distance besties! Might have to use this.

    • Meg Keene

      OMG you wrote us about this right? (Or it’s a good idea that’s going around, because someone did.) We kept meaning to do an awesome how to post on it… and… work got overwhelming. But I/ the whole staff loves this idea so much!

      • Ellen

        Yes, I did!

  • Caroline

    I asked a bunch of girlfriends to accompany me to the mikvah (Jewish ritual bath) before my wedding. A friend asked if I wanted her to throw a party after, to which I said yes. We had a dinner at my friend’s house, with about 4 girlfriends, my best (dude) friend, and my sister. It was awesome. I think we had pizza, and we chatted, and we talked about marriage, and they had made a sweet little ritual where they each poured water onto a succulent with their hopes for my marriage, in honor of the waters of the mikvah. It was awesome and intimate and lovely.

  • sr4612a

    My bachelorette party is in a few weeks, and I’m super excited! To save money, we’re all gathering at my house for the weekend so no one has to pay for a hotel. We’re going to go zip-lining on Saturday and do a spa day on Sunday. Three of the five bridesmaids are from out of town, so I’m super grateful that they are taking the time to come visit. It’s definitely not the cheapest weekend, but it’s right up my alley :)

  • Nell

    I had a lot of trouble figuring out the guest list to my bachelorette party, because a lot of my friends are now couples, and deciding which half of a couple to pick to come to the party seemed really hard. So I didn’t decide! Having couples there was actually great – and the focus was really on my friendship with each of these amazing people, not getting trashed.

    The best bachelorettes I have been to included a relaxing beach day and a picnic by a pond.

    I was determined not to have a ton of different activities at my bachelorette (because I’m an introvert, and that’s how I roll). The only activities mine had were “hanging out” and “eating food.” And it was awesome! People from different groups had a chance to talk to each other, and it was really lovely!

    • Jess

      “hanging out” and “eating food” are my two favorite activities!

  • emilyg25

    My best friend rented a private room in a tea room and we had a tea party and did crafts. Because I’m secretly 5 years old. It was fun!

    • scw

      yes! some friends took me to high tea for my birthday a few weeks ago and it was the best. this sounds like a perfect bachelorette.

  • Amy March

    Nude figure drawing class. A tasteful amount of penis.

    • VKD_Vee

      Seriously?! You’ve got some classy pals!

    • Abby

      Nice! We did an ordinary boozy painting class for my friend’s bachelorette (for those in the Boston area: was amazing!) but this kicks it up a notch.

  • Kara

    Cheese & Chocolate Fondue ++ Wine :). Woo hoo.
    Nothing crazy, lots of fun, and great food. Easy and cheap…just saying.

  • scw

    I loved my bachelorette! we started the day with a private yoga class at the studio I attend and then went to brunch and got manicures. after a break to get ready, we went out to dinner and then went back to my house where we had a big party with the boys (my husband had his bachelor party on the same day). most of our friends are both of our friends and many of them live out of town, so it was really just a big sleepover fun weekend with some separate activities planned one day. five stars, would do again.

  • Caitlin

    My MOH was planning from long distance (and everyone who came except for maybe 2 people were also coming from far away) so we didn’t do much. It was almost immediately after my wedding shower (again, everyone coming from far away) so I had already gotten to spend some time with the older and younger ladies in my families, which was nice. We decided to start out together with the guys, and met at a funny little market/bar/diner type place so that our younger cousins could also hang out with us. (and my dad, and stepmom and uncle, although they told me to pretend they weren’t there.) Originally we were going to go to another bar and then split up, but we ended up drinking a lot at that one bar and never splitting up, which I really liked. All of our friends from all over got to hang out and meet each other, I got to see the guys we invited that I don’t get to spend much time with, and generally I think everyone had a really good time, although there were a lot of hangovers the next day. I love my lady friends but I have just as many, if not more guy friends, so hanging out with all of them was perfect. I thought it would be weird having my dad/stepmom/uncle there but all my friends had fun with them and I got a lot of comments about how fun my family is, which everyone likes to hear, right? I’m not big into penis type things but a friend of mine who missed the party works at a restaurant and she got her coworkers to make us a loaf of bread shaped like a penis, which we got while we were getting ready the day of the wedding, which resulted in some pretty funny pictures, and we did end up eating all of it after the wedding!

  • joanna b.n.

    Ahhh, good question! We kind of went all out on my bachelorette because (my girls are amazing and) several people flew in, so we wanted to make a weekend of it. First, there was a really nice, low key evening of camping, including tarot cards, wine, laughter, smores, and star gazing, followed by a hike the next morning. Then, we all shuttled over to a local resort (yay, living in Tucson), where we spent a few hours by the pool (and serenaded by a steel drum band) before painting flowerpots, gabbing, and going out on the town for some karaoke, before falling into our lovely beds for a sleepover. There was no penis paraphernalia or strippers involved, and yet it felt free, indulgent, and ultimately perfect (for me). I highly recommend any or all of the activities we did!

  • My sister and bestie (the in town bridesmaids) organized a scavenger hunt all over town. My sister picked me up at two in the afternoon and handed me a clue. It lead us to the coffee shop where my fiance and I had our first date. They had a clue that led to the house that my bestie and I used to live in together, and she was waiting out front! We went to a fabric store, and then a park by the house I lived in when fiance and I first started dating (another friend was waiting there with cupcakes). A few clues where a little hard for me to figure out, but with prodding I got them all. We picked up friends along the way, and a few of them where big surprises (one bridesmaid came in from out of town!) It was a blast! We ended at a bar and had drinks and dinner and then went to a lingerie store where everyone pitched in to buy me something fancy for the wedding night. (This lingerie store does private events, so we had the place to our self, champagne, cupcakes and everyone had fun trying things on and lots of folks bought things for themselves also.) Scavenger hunts are the best!

  • Sara

    Two of my couple friends had joint a bachelor/ette party at Medieval Times (the first couple gave the second couple the idea). Dinner and a show, plus silly crowns, what’s not to love? That was a lot of fun, and the second couple had us all go bowling afterwards too.

    • OMG Medieval Times! I mean, how could you not have fun? I think they also have group rates for tickets….

  • Kate

    My sister rented a house for about 12 of my friends/family in Montauk, NY for the weekend. It was super low-key. Went to a ‘secret beach’, ate pizza outside at a brewery, drank, played games, and cooked at home. It was kind of expensive because of the house, which I felt a little guilty about, but I made sure that there were no gifts of any kind since people were paying out of pocket for the house and travel. I thought it was an awesome way for people from different parts of my life to get to know each other better, because let’s be honest, no one actually talks to strangers at weddings.

  • Em

    I wish I would have skipped having a bachelorette party. Most of my friends from childhood, college etc are spread across the country. I seem to keep in touch with the long distance friends less and less each year, and I have sucked at making new friends as an adult. I have a decent amount of “couple” friends with my partner, but they were her friends first. I don’t really feel like I have close friends anymore. It usually doesn’t bother me because I am so happy with my partner and our mutual friends, but planning a bachelorette just made me feel so sad about it. I think I would have felt better just skipping it altogether rather than trying to have one and feeling disappointed.

  • Alyssa

    Mine was high tea and then lingerie shopping (anthro sales, swoon), followed by a co-ed party at a pub! It was extremely low pressure, I wasn’t too much the center of attention because other people were trying things on, I got quality conversation at tea, and we still got to party that night.

    • Co-ed is where it’s at. It’s so surprisingly rare! Also, high tea and lingerie? Fancy all around.

  • Emily

    I had a sort of typical bachelorette, bar hopping in Chicago, but it was really the best. I loved having the time to throw my best college girl friends, with my best childhood friends, plus a mom, an aunt, and a cousin. I will never forget singing Coldplay karaoke with my cousin and laughing til I cried. It gave me some much needed downtime and a reminder about the people who I want to keep close in this new phase of my life.

  • Megan

    I did have a pretty traditional bachelorette party which I really enjoyed–destination to Nashville, rented an AirBNB house, did some fun touristy stuff, went “out” to some bars for music and dancing, that kind of thing. Besides a couple friends being somewhat annoying, it was really really fun. Some of the “annoying” stuff had to do with people being awkward about spending money although everyone knew up front what we’d be doing and what things would cost and there was no pressure to opt in. (I was not at all surprised that certain friends acted in certain ways about it knowing their personalities…but it was still disappointing for a couple people to drag things down. It’s tough to please multiple women at once!)

    When I’ve reflected on it with some of my friends who went (the ones who didn’t make a fuss about anything)–we talked about how fun it was to just have a reason to go somewhere for a girls’ weekend as we hadn’t really done that before. This time, the reason was about me, and my upcoming wedding, and people treated me to things, but the trip and party gave us the “a-ha” moment that we should just commit to regularizing a girls’ trip–whether there’s a “reason” (wedding, birthday) or not. So this summer, two of my friends are turning 30, and we’ve talked about the possibility of visiting another city together that was on the list of considerations for my party weekend because they sounded fun and we still want to visit them too! I hope it works out.

    Also….when it comes to penis things, for my sister’s bachelorette party last year, I bought a penis pinata. She is not a person who would have been excited about or expected penis paraphernalia at her bachelorette party, but what adult doesn’t love a pinata? It was a big “hit”!! It was a fun way to have a little something “dirty” involved in the party without parading around with necklaces and straws in public.

    • Not Sarah

      I was invited to an expensive bachelorette party and I didn’t feel like it was opt in. It was support friend or not. That was really annoying. I don’t blame her though – I mostly blame the MOH. I’ve since realized that I’m friends with the bride, but not the rest of her (female) friends. Combining friends groups is hard.

      • Anne

        Yeah, I had this experience too. I mean, obviously I wanted to support my friend, and get to know her friends, and have a good time. But…I don’t generally *have* $400 lying around to spend on a party (not to mention going to the wedding and buying both a shower and wedding gift). It ended up feeling a little frustrating. I had a good time, I’m glad I went, but when you have multiple friends getting married in one year, it can be financially difficult to “support” your friends in this way.

        • Not Sarah

          Yeah…I split the amount I would have given for the wedding between the bridal shower and the wedding and counted the $1,000* I spent on going to the bachelorette party as “unexpected travel”, but it still bugs me. I mean, there were parts of it that were fun and I felt valued by my friend, but the MOH is SO not my type of friend at all. I’m not completely glad I went, still a bit pissed off about the whole thing as most of the party was NOT my cup of tea, but I’m overall glad I supported my friend. I just wish I could have done so in a way that I chose, rather than how the bridal party forced on us. I mean, the MOH was even trying to force the bride to do things she didn’t want to do.

          *I can afford that in my cash flow, mostly, but I am still bitter that the MOH told us on two months’ notice that this was happening and there was no breakdown on how much it would cost – we had to all figure that out on our own and it turned out to be much more expensive than I had originally assumed.

          • SJ

            I hear you! I think it’s important to know your crowd even it comes to these things. My friend’s very extroverted sister and MOH organised her party, and I think quite a few people found the experience a bit uncomfortable. It started at 11am at the races, and then moved to a bar, and then a restaurant for dinner, and then dancing. I’m all for celebrating my friend, but if you expect me to stay out till 2am then start at 7 or 8pm, not 11am!

          • Not Sarah

            YES! My friend is much more extroverted than me, as are the rest of her friends. It was exhausting!

      • Jess

        Oh man. YES. It may be “opt in” but when social pressure is to either be supportive/part of the group or not… (I’m writing from the POV of trying to join in a bachelorette for R’s sister, so I’m simultaneously navigating family issues and personalities, with a large budget destination weekend)

        Not that it’s a good excuse to be crabby about it during the event, but, still. It’s never really Opt In.

      • meganfm

        This is really tough. I’m lucky that most of my close friends are from high school so even though they didn’t all run in the same circle they all know each other. And they’ve met my other friends enough times (birthdays, etc.) that they are fairly comfortable with each other. But it’s hard-I’ve been to a few bachelorettes where I clearly feel out of place and it’s awkward and doesn’t make for a super fun night.

  • Jade

    My sister surprised me for my bachelorette and it was amazing. We started out with a “twerk out” dance class (that left us all hilariously sore and achy the next day), followed by dinner at a fancy Japanese izakaya, ending with some rowdy karaoke in Korea-town. We stayed up way too late but it was worth it and packed with awesome memories!

  • av

    My maid of honour was really sweet and knew that as I don’t drink and one of my bridesmaids is underage a typical bachelorette wouldn’t work.
    So the plan is that we will go to a spa and get massages which is wonderful (because back issues plus wedding stress does a number on me) and then we will go out to my favourite restaurant that serves a bajillion different kinds of cake and take over a nice table on the patio for a few hours to just chat.
    Sounds amazing and most of all relaxing and fun to me!

  • Lia Reber

    Not being into heavy-duty partying, for my bachelorette weekend we did something I had wanted to do for years. I, along with 5 friends, took a one night kayak oraca tour in the San Juan Islands. Everyone had so much fun and it was an amazing and unique experience to share. It was also empowering to do something most of us had never done that was physically and mentally challenging. We were surrounded by a huge pod of orcas, saw the amazing sunset over the islands, had laughs and ate great food with wine. We all chipped in together to make sure that everyone could afford to go and be financially comfortable. It was more important to me that everyone could go than it was that the girls paid for me. It was a weekend of great memories that we still talk about!

    • Kay

      This sounds amazing!

  • Yet another Meg

    My bachelorette was a late night champagne picnic in a local park with my bridal brigade and a few other girlfriends, followed by muchies around a fire pit, Disney movies and sleepover at a cousin’s house that I basically grew up in. We also made it a combined birthday party for three of my friends who’s birthdays fell on that day. It was lovely and low key

    • Champagne picnic? Disney movies? This sounds like something I want every week.

  • Anne

    Mine was pretty low key—I went to a baseball game with my bridesmaids in the afternoon, followed by a tour/demo at Good Vibes (for anyone in the Bay Area, I highly recommend this; it was awesome), dinner, and drinks with several more people. Having recently attended a friend’s (expensive) destination bachelorette weekend, I wanted to make sure to do something that wouldn’t be super cost prohibitive. Since most of my friends lived in far-flung cities, we had the party two evenings before the wedding; most, although not all, of my friends were able to take an extra day and come in for the party, rather than paying for a separate flight/trip.

    • EF

      note: there’s a Good Vibes in Boston too! Either coast can enjoy it!

  • MABie

    We were totally against having a bridal party, until we weren’t…and then we were totally against having a bachelorette party, until we TOTALLY weren’t! We are a same-sex couple, and we have an eclectic bridal party – a combination of siblings, close mutual friends, individual friends who are as close as siblings, a married couple, etc.

    We decided to have a bachelorette weekend in the city where we live (Atlanta). Our bridal party members are bringing their significant others. We also invited a few people whom we love, but who can’t make it to the wedding. Half of the bachelorette guests are staying with us, and the other half are staying at an Air B’n’B a few houses down from us. We’re planning to do some brewery tours, go to the park, etc…but mostly hang out at our house and grill, etc.

    I’m not sure if it’ll be fun or awkward. I’ll return to this space and update once it’s over. But in the meantime, I’m really looking forward to it!

    • kate

      it *sounds* super fun! variety of activities always helps larger and mixed groups because everybody can pick or pass what suits them and i always think doing something makes mingling easier. i’m sure it’ll be great!

  • Sarah

    My friends from college took me back to our college town and had me do a scavenger hint of sorts. I had to reenact various silly things we used to do, eat at some old favorites, visit our old dorms, etc in exchange for “bridal” things to wear during the day – a ring pop, veil etc. Then we had a nice dinner. We ended the night at a bowling alley reenacting one of our favorite college shenanigans – bowling in prom dresses, except this time it was bridesmaids dresses. The whole day was perfect and so me.

    My husband and his friends rode bicycles to a local brewery a few towns over and played lawn games then rode back for dinner and drinks.

  • Katie

    My sister, cousin and bestie know what I would like to do — the Museum Hack bachelorette tour at the Met, dinner and wine with a small group of friends and just low key hanging out together. That is what I’m looking forward to.

  • LJ

    I just had mine a couple weeks ago! I asked for no penises, low key (after having had to go to a lot of all out bachelorette weekends), and to be in bed by 10. They started with a wine and cheese tasting at a friends house, followed by that infamous guess-who-brought-what-lingerie game (which was hilarious and mortifying and sweet). Then we went for dinner at my favorite Mexican place (plus, margaritas!).

    They kept me out until 10:45, but I forgive them ; )

  • M

    I live in a city with a river, so my bachelorette party was floating the river for 4 hours followed by tacos! It was absolutely perfect. None of my crew knew each other ahead of time, so sticking them in innertubes on a river with alcohol was a great way to break the ice! Plus, I got to spend the next day with just my best friend, who happened to be the only out of town guest.

  • eating words

    we’re having a big queer potluck camping bachelorette weekend. we don’t have a bridal party, and we weren’t thinking that a bachelorette would really happen… and then a friend suggested that we all go camping—which is perfect for us—AND she offered to organize it. we’ve got four sites booked at a campground we love, with a beach and walking trails, about an hour from where we (and most of our friends) live. we’re going to organize people to bring food and drinks and cooking equipment for the weekend. it’s weeks and weeks away, but i’m already so excited.

  • Eh

    My bachelorette was an evening of hot tubs/saunas and then we stayed in a cabin and drank lots of wine and played Cards Against Humanity. It was a awesome night.

    • friedpod

      …were we at the same bachelorette party? Are you me?

    • kate

      this was basically my request for mine this summer too. :)

    • Peekayla

      My dream bachelorette party was a cabin in Vermont/Maine on a lake where we could swim, sunbathe, kayak, and do other outdoorsy activities in the area. Unfortunately, all my friends and bridesmaids were indoor people, so that was quickly scrapped.

      • Eh

        I was super happy just to get anything. We didn’t have a wedding party just one person on each side (kind of). My MOH lived on the other side of the country and had never been to where I live so I told her not to worry about planning. A close friend decided to take it on but the only time that worked was the Thursday before our wedding since everyone was coming from out of town. It ended up only being my MOH and two friends but it was still nice.

  • Megan Shelby

    I totally see the point of a little pre-wedding hooliganism in the absence of your significant other or even your significant other’s close friends, but I have always found the gender exclusivity of this things to be a level of wtf just shy of a no-dude baby shower, and I think that’s offputting for many of the less femininely inclined.
    Meg is a lady after my own heart, I’m told I have “shooting guns and getting weird in the desert” to look forward to (an I am!).

  • Carolyn S

    Can we talk about what’s socially acceptable for a bachelorette party if the people you want to come to it aren’t actually invited to your wedding because your wedding in teeny?

    • Marie

      I’d be irked to be invited to an expensive bachelorette party but not the wedding. Mostly people will assume that you’re having a small wedding to save money. Invited them to a pricey bachelorette party sends the message that you’re not willing to spend money on your friends, but you’d like them to spend money on you. My advice if you do this is to make the party free to your guests, either foot the bill yourself or host it at your home.

    • kate

      generally agree with marie – to me it seems like if you want have a party with your friends that aren’t invited to the wedding, you should host it. there are definitely ways to keep it low cost so you can host your friends completely without it becoming another large expense for you. and be clear and honest with your friends about expectations for the wedding vs the party – generally someone invited to pre-wedding events will assume they are invited to the wedding, so that needs to be clarified up front in a caring way to the friends in question.

    • Amy March

      I feel like it’s not socially acceptable. If you want to celebrate with them, make the wedding less teeny, or just host a party and invite them. I’d be majorly not cool with being invited to your bachelorette and not your wedding.

    • Mary Jo TC

      It might depend on the circumstances of why/how your wedding is small. If it’s an elopement or destination, they might not be expecting to be invited. But might still enjoy the chance to celebrate you. Maybe the line is if the wedding is “small” but still includes people beyond immediate family, I might feel miffed to get a gift-grab invite but not a wedding invite.

      My friend and former roommate had a small wedding with a large reception the same day. (I think it was because it was in a tiny church an hour from the reception site, and an hour from where most guests were coming from.) I went to her bachelorette party and didn’t mind not going to the wedding, and neither did the other ladies there, even though some of them thought they would be seeing the vows.

      But I agree, keeping the bachelorette relatively low-key would be a good idea if you’re worried about ettiquette and/or resentment.

  • SamiSidewinder

    My MOH rented an awesome mid century modern house in Palm Springs (we are architecture dorks, so that meant something to us), a bunch of my friends (mostly girls and two boys) drove/flew out for a weekend and we hung out in the pool, cruised around town, went for a hike in Joshua Tree, drove through Joshua Tree with ‘Joshua Tree’ blaring from the stereo, cooked food, laughed our asses off, etc. It turned out to be the same week as an annual Lesbian celebration weekend, so we all got hit on the night we went out. Nobody minded. There were no penises or sashes (thankfully). Somebody did my make up and somebody else took a couple of great pictures of me (very hard to do). It was the perfect combo of outdoorsy, homebody/housemaker, and partier for me. I have never felt more loved or supported. It was PERFECT.

  • MizEm

    I had two bachelorette parties. The first one was a small gathering at my house…I called it “Girls Gone Mild.” We ate amazing soup and salad and an obscene (yet delightful) amount of popcorn and candy, listened to music, and played Cards Against Humanity. The second was a Jack-and-Jill-type thing, which was organized by some of my lady friends whose husbands/fiances/boyfriends have been friends since childhood with my fiance. We had dinner in the city, sipped beer and wine at another restaurant, and then danced at a club until the not so wee hours. Fun, fun! No penises, no foolery. My style.

  • JLD

    We had a raucous, joint bachelor/bachelorette party in a tacky resort town about an hour away. It was the entire bridal party + dates + a few other friends. I think about twenty-five people total, and we all stayed in a rented house for the weekend. We cooked out, played beer pong, did some silly touristy things, wore bro tanks, and had one night where we went out to bars in gender-segregated groups. I like spending time with my husband, so it was fun to have him around, and it was a great chance for all of our people to get to know each other before the wedding. Having mixed gender meant that I not only got to know some of my husband’s out-of-town college buddies better, but I also got to spend time with some of my out-of-town friends’ SOs. Good planning kept the costs reasonable (still expensive for people who flew in from out of town – thank you, amazing friends!), and although our weekend was..ahem… not subdued, the basic idea could be easily adapted for a lower-key weekend too.

  • halliemt

    I’ve planned several bachelorette parties (5?), ranging from Vegas/clubbing/go-go dancers to Korean spa/nice dinner/collaborating on a mosaic tabletop at the bride’s home. I think the key is designing something very tailored to the person. One element that all have had in common that everyone seems to love: going around the table at dinner and each person sharing something they love about the bride. It really warms the heart.

  • Whitney

    I loved mine! It was in February and we went to Breckenridge, CO for a ski weekend. People would have had to travel regardless – we were split between the coasts in multiple states – so we decided to meet in the middle.

    It was amazing fun. We rented an Airbnb and it turned out to be amazing fun. The girls who would have wanted to take a ski trip in the winter had an excuse to go, and the ones who didn’t know how or didn’t want to, didn’t have to spend the money on the activity. It eliminated the need for a regimented list of activities, which I loved! Half the girls went skiing, the other half relaxed. We cooked at home for every meal and (my fave) had a little appetizer & cocktail dance party before going out for the night. I also didn’t want too much penis paraphernalia, but some of my girls insisted. Luckily, they kept it tasteful and limited it to the house – yay, thank you!

    There were a few snafus – the biggest storm of the winter happened that weekend, my car almost had to go back to Denver, and altitude sickness decided to hit my trooper of a sister/MOH – but it all sorted itself out in the end. There was amazing skiing, we had a great hot tub on site, our house was cozy and I got to have the best time with all my favorites in one place.

  • Candice

    For my Bachelorette Party, we took a pole dancing class. They threw in a lap dance lesson as well. It was a blast. We also had dessert fondue and drinks at the melting pot before heading back to my place for a sleepover complete with truth or dare. It was all a little random and a lot of fun.

  • Maddy

    My workmates organised this amazing day out at wineries in the Yarra Valley and it was one of the most fun, beautiful days i’ve ever had in my life. I was feeling really down about it because my maid of honour was pretty much non existent (she is now no longer a part of my life). We did a few of the fun trashy things like the veil and the sash but it was just so perfect <3

    • Sarah

      Yarra Valley?! Are you from Melbourne too? :-D

      • Maddy

        Yes! It’s so lovely to see another Melbourne lady here!

  • M Tee-Rex

    I’ve been threatening to eschew any bachelorete party except to go blueberry picking and go swimming in the river and then go get a milkshake. that is about what I’m up for. I hate planning.

  • KT

    groupon all-inclusive spa weekend with treatments, food, drinks all paid for in advance. we could chill in the bar or our rooms or by the pool chatting and gossiping, no need for mega-fancy dressing up, no pressure to get pissed. just super relaxed and fun. perfect.

  • Jennifer

    I have some awesome pictures of my bachelorette but of course can’t find them this morning. (Need more coffee). Anyway! I was pretty non-traditional. My girls were super busy and one was far away, so after the rehearsal, we did a reasonable hike in Red Rocks and dinner out in Golden, CO before the wedding the next day. It was a blast and exactly what I wanted.

  • Mel

    I love this! It’s so nice to see this being embraced. I didn’t want a penis themed party at all. My two bridesmaids ended up taking me skiing for the day. We had beer and french fries on the mountain and then got massages, which was perfect after the long day of skiing! Then we went to a condo, played Cards Against Humanity, and drank awesome cocktails. It was so much fun and exactly what I wanted – just a day with friends.

  • Sarah E

    Since I was planning long distance, and most of my local friends weren’t coming (I invited them instead to a local reception later), they threw me a bachelorette with just the right amount of penis. We made DIY pasties (tutorial found on Apartment Therapy), had penis shaped ice and penis straws and basically just sat around my friends’ house for a few hours being silly and cracking jokes.

    The only other bachelorette party I’ve been to was for another good friend. About a handful of us all brought something to drink and sat around a friends’ parents’ deck all night with tiki torches lit, just hanging out. My crafty friend also made a barbie bride cake with penis-shaped lace on her dress, and a huge, homemade penis-shaped pinata stuffed with stickers and pins and condoms.

    Recipe for success seemed to be: venue on your own terms, no pushiness, lots of gabbing, a couple things to do with your hands, just to get the party started.

  • Molly Miller

    I had a friend throw me a bachelorette/lingerie party with a “Fill Her Cups” theme where people were encouraged to give me either lingerie or alcohol. It was nice because as a rather busty lady, quality lingerie in my size is kind of hard to find and expensive. I didn’t want anyone to feel burdened to spend a lot a money or spend too much time finding something. This gave people a less expensive gift option, was punny (which is a win in my book), and stocked both my bar and lingerie collection. We just met up with everyone at a nice bar with a large semi-private seating area. It was a lot of fun!

  • SecretMOH

    I just hosted my best friend’s bachelorette party last weekend. We started at my place with a DIY mimosa/sangria bar and a round of Cards Against Humanity. Then we caught a sketch comedy show at The Second City. Finally, we enjoyed a late dinner and dancing at a classy jazz lounge with live music that the bride loves. There were a few penises (straws, cupcakes, bride’s sister got her a mug, ha!) but no dares or anything too embarrassing. I think everyone had a good time. :)

  • CRZ

    I live in NYC and will be going to the New York City Ballet and then to a wine and chocolate bar for my bachelorette next month. Toe shoes and truffles and terroir, oh my!

  • meganfm

    This is probably more traditional than all the amazing awesome ideas people are posting here, but for my bachelorette next year I specifically told my friend no sash. No cake in the shape of genitalia. No. feather. boa. and. tiara.
    My MOH and I brainstormed doing an afternoon at the spa followed by going back to someone’s apartment for the night for an old fashioned slumber party, complete with takeout pizza and cheesy romcoms. Just something totally chill and a chance for all my friends to hang out and have a good time. And on the finances thing-since it’s a 2-part event if the spa is out of people’s budget, that’s totally fine-they can join us after for the pizza/movies.

  • Erica

    I can’t believe I am a day late and still the first one to say this, but my bachelorette will be a weekend cruise!!

    Yes, it is a larger than normal weekend bachelorette party. But for those who love the idea and can spend the money (most of my invitees could and I checked beforehand), and you know, live conveniently near a port, I think it is the best idea. You don’t have to worry about driving. Everyone is all in one place but it is a large enough place to find some space if you need it. There is a spa, and one of our stops has wine tasting (my two musts). It is a long weekend, 3 nights. No risk of strippers (though I would have been excited to include that option too, it is just simpler without all the naked-body-ness). Plus, way fun to parade up and down the boat as a troupe. For those who could not go financially but still want to celebrate I am letting a friend organize an informal ‘night out on the town’ mini-Bach.

    I was honestly worried about the expense of it at first for others, but did a lot of preliminary checking on friends finances, and am paying my own way (as opposed to them covering my expenses as well, a common bachelorette occurrence). It should be crazy fun once we are all on the boat!!

    • I can’t even image how rad it would be to get all my friends on a boat (except, seasickness. Bring on the dramamine!)

  • phdiva

    “beerchlorette” party visiting a few local breweries – it was awesome.

  • Jess

    The three best bachelorette parties (mine included) that I ever attended were ones where we rented a house somewhere, gathered for a long weekend, cooked delicious food, drank wine, sat by the pool and relaxed and enjoyed some much-needed down-time. Penis-straws optional.

  • Sarah

    Dim sum, followed by field day/drinking games (think three-legged races plus beer pong), followed by pizza and improv comedy! It was awesome, affordable, and lots of fun!

  • Jacqui

    I technically had two and I loved both. Because, girl support. I didn’t have bridesmaids, instead opting to have my brother be my witness (and “bridesman” “man of honour”) so I wanted precious time with my ladies. The first was a surprise when I visited my dear school friends. They took me to a scandinavian spa, lunch, dinner and a night on the town dancing- I LOVE dancing (no penis paraphenalia or other bacheloretty items). The second was a cottage weekend which was exactly as it sounds- low key, food, drinks, sun, beach, relaxation. My friends know me well and respected my wishes for the simple pleasure of connection rather than the traditional bachelorette “i’m getting married so I better party!” I never felt that need to have “one last hoorah” before my wedding because I have always looked forward to all sorts of hoorahs with my husband.

  • EF

    I don’t really have female friends, but my four best bros and I hit up the member’s bar in Parliament. of course I’m lucky that two of them are civil servants/have open access to the palace of westminster, and got the rest of us in. we drank next to reporters and assistants to MPs, and then snuck out onto the terrace on the river (which is supposed to be for MPs only), and though it was cold (hi, january) it was awesome. We ended up sitting under Big Ben just chatting for a while, and then getting late night takeout, before BFF and I hopped on one of the last trains of the night out of the city. It was like a normal pub night, but somewhat awesomer. What more could you want?

  • Kaylee

    My Bachelorette party is this weekend! Due to my wedding party and friends being spread all over it’s pretty small but I’m sure it will be a good time! 3 of us are driving from Toronto to Montreal (yay road trip!!) and meeting one of my bridesmaids is flying in from NFLD. Then we are driving up to Mt. Tremnant for a low key spa night. Here is where it gets exciting…my bridesmaid and I are doing Spartan Race on Sunday! (13km 20 obstacles lots of burpees) training for the race is also helping me stay on track for looking fab at the wedding haha! After the race we are heading back down to Montreal for a night of debauchery…I’m not sure what the exact plans are but there may be inappropriate things included…for a controlling type A like me I’m leaning in to it haha. The week of the wedding my other brides maids are hosting a ladies night which sounds like it will be a wine and cheese party…should be a blast!!

  • Helen

    Murder mystery at my boss’ beach house!

  • Peekayla

    Mine was low-key but still really fun. We had an early dinner at a local tea place that had dozens of tea choices and served lunch foods as well as High Tea snackies ( Then we went on a boat ride that had a live band playing jazz music (one of my favorite types of music) with a buffet “dinner.” It was fairly family friendly and the guests ranged from 8 to 80. There were only 4 of us, and we had three rounds of drinks, so each girl only had to buy one round of drinks. Lots of laughing, chilling, and dancing was had.

  • Grace from England

    I’m a bit late but it feels rude not to share the details of my awesome hen weekend. My girls are spread from Dundee up in Scotland down to portsmouth on the south coast of England. It was organised by my bridesmaids and I only had one rule: NO penises. At all. Real or plastic or pasta, I did not care. Anyway, they arranged an afternoon tea at this boutique cake shop called Bea’s of Bloomsbury for my 13 best ladies including my mum. Then we all checked into our hotel before heading to a 1920’s themed ball where there was champagne, cabaret, flapper girls and burlesque. It was SO MUCH FUN. Everyone got on so well and they were chatting away all night. The next morning we all met up for a late brunch before going our separate ways. Classy hen parties are possible! ;-)

    Oh go on then, here’s a picture!

  • Megan

    We went skydiving :) some other friends joined us at the bar afterwards or came to watch the jumps during the day.

  • LisaG

    I went to afternoon tea at the Plaza Hotel for my bachelorette “party”. It was fun to dress up and do something fancy and “girly” with my girlfriends. There were no strippers or penis shaped things.

  • Allie

    I didn’t want a traditional bachelorette party either – I love being outdoors and talking with my friends, much more than dancing and shouting above the noise of a club. So, instead of a night out, my friends and I had brunch, then spent the afternoon on a progressive biking brewery tour around the city! I had to move away from my hometown after the wedding for work, so it was a great way to spend quality time with friends and say goodbye to my beloved Minneapolis.

  • Amanda

    I’ve **never** had a good time at a bachelorette party, tbh. I’ve done the cabin in the woods. It was crazy expensive, and there was no opportunity to make a graceful exit (love the bride, but her other friends weren’t the best company to be locked in a confined space for 3 days with). I’ve done the surprise the bride with a stripper thing, which was one of the most horrific experiences for everyone involved (and expensive). I’ve done the bar hopping, and slung drunk friends over my shoulder to carry them back to the hotel in high heels (and expensive). I’ve done the day-drunk champagne thing, and had an expensive hangover by 10 p.m.

    Before getting engaged, I told my to-be MOH EXACTLY what I wanted out of my bachelorette (she and I have been telling each other EXACTLY what we want for our weddings since we were three years old playing with barbies, so it wasn’t out of place): A hotel suite in NYC, where anyone who wants to sleep in her own bed can hop on a subway/train and get home, face masks, PJs, bring your favorite booze of choice, snacks/room service, and enjoy the company of women I love. My MOH told me she wants to play the penny slots in Atlantic City drinking sea breezes, then go to a drag club, and come back to a hotel room to eat an entire pizza. THAT I’m looking forward to.

  • Kristin

    My fiance and I met in high school, we have a lot of the same friends. My brother was my man of honor, and his sister was the groomslady. Because of this we decided to have a joint party. We rented a big cabin in the woods and did all the things we love: Boating, Fishing, an outdoor movie, good food, bonfires etc. One of the nights we separated into boys and girl groups. They boys played video games and drank good whiskey and the girls did one of those “wine and painting” parties. It was actually a GREAT way for all of our friends/bridal party to get to know each other. ALSO- cost was very low: $80 per person, a homeaway rental and costco food.

  • Amber Davis

    We had a Sunday Funday and went to a brunch at a cute restaurant that turns over after lunch, dims the lights and has a DJ play. You can order bottle service and dance the day away. Everyone was home for a good nights sleep. Literally had the best day!

  • Anna

    I once helped plan a bachelorette party that consisted of a cooking class followed by dancing. It was the perfect blend of casual eating/drinking/dancing that the bride wanted and the “special activity/thing-you-don’t-normally-get-to-do” that the maid of honor and sister of the bride really wanted to plan. Plus the bride loves Thai food but hadn’t cooked it much herself, so she was thrilled to learn her favorite recipes from an awesome woman in SF named Sunshine ( (Bonus: Sunshine’s loft is in a converted church and is only a mile from DNA Lounge! The planners kept it flexible and a few people left after dinner, a few people joined us just for drinks before dancing, and a few people showed up just to dance, it was great!)

  • So wonderful. Send you a bachelorette party card. Hope you can love it. #amoyshare

  • Abbie

    My friends threw me a wonderful getaway weekend celebration in which we did the one thing that I wanted to do (in addition to hanging out with all of them) which was participate in a croissant baking class. It was wonderful and so tasty!

  • sophia humphreys

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