Roundup: Queer Wedding Style

Wedding style for the masculine of center and the femme partners who love them


Because the APW staff is made up of shallow creatures who like shiny things, one of the best parts of Pride Week is getting to handpick some of our most stylish readers to source queer style roundups. Last year the incomparable Aly to put together all the glittery femme goodness you could ask for, while our intern Elisabeth consulted her partner K for dapper butch dress clothes. A few months ago, we had the pleasure of meeting Sarah Deragon of The Identity Project at a workshop at Makeshift Society, and knew we had to work with her on something for Pride. Sarah’s work with The Identity Project explores the labels we identify with when defining our gender and sexuality. Looking at Sarah’s images suddenly made the standard butch/femme roundup seem impossibly narrow (and a little too reminiscent of the wedding industry’s constant reinforcement of the gender binary). So instead, we asked her to pull together inspiration for queer wedding style that runs the gamut from butch to masculine of center to androgynous and all the way over to femme (because this is APW we’re talking about, after all), while also giving us her best pointers for masculine-of-center shopping (inspired by her wife Natalie). We might just hang this one in our offices, because it’s that hot. Image of Sarah and her wife Natalie by Diana Rothery Weddings.

—The APW Team

Shop Suits For Women: Clockwise From Top Left 1. Saint Harridan 2. Tomboy Tailors 3. Bindle & Keep 4. Androgyny 5. Kipper Clothiers

When I was planning my wedding (three years ago in April), I was shocked and disheartened to find that there was a huge lack of LGBTQ imagery on most wedding blogs. Looking through Pinterest to find anything for my butch identified partner to wear kept coming up with the same five photos over and over again. If I did find a gay wedding online, clicking through to the wedding photographer’s website, all I’d find was a statement on the “About Me” page saying they supported marriage equality, but none of this was reflected in their portfolio. Well, thankfully, a lot has changed in the past three years because of sites like APW pushing the boundaries of the wedding industrial complex!

My intention for this round-up is to highlight the fabulous opportunities for high quality, perfectly tailored, extremely fabulous suits and other clothing designed for masculine of center/butch/boi/trans/androgynous folks and the women that love them. Small queer owned businesses like Saint Harridan, Kipper Clothing, Tomboy Tailors, and Androgyny are offering folks custom made suits and formal wear, so head on over to their websites to find out more information. Your big gay wedding is a wonderful time to buy a nice suit, but if you’re on a budget, of course you can just rent a tux at the Men’s Warehouse (that’s what my partner and I did for our first ceremony and it worked out okay for us) or even get one for about $500 from the Express Men’s section.

1. Via Dapper Q, A Very Dapper Wedding: Rebekah and Lydia 2. Via Two Birds Nest, Photo by Ronnie Andren Photography and A. Park Photography 3. Via Wedding Chicks, Photo by Emily Scannell Photography 4. Via APW, Photo by Kelly Prizel 5. Via Rock N Roll Bride, Photo by Amanda Thomsen Photography 6. Via H&H Weddings, Photo by Mademoiselle Fiona Wedding Photography, Style by H&H Weddings 7. Via Emma Freeman Photography, Photo by Emma Freeman Photography 8. Via Monica Garcia Makeup Artistry, Photo by Imagery with Impact, Styled by Gia Zopatti Wedding Design and Coordination Co. 9. Via Miki Vargas Photography, Photo by Miki Vargas Photography 10. Via Diana Rothery Weddings, Photo by Diana Rothery 11. Via Rock N Roll Bride, Photo by Kat Hill Photography 12. Via Kelly Kollar Photography, Photo by Kelly Kollar 13. Via Rock N Roll Bride, Photo by Our Labor of Love Photography 14. Via On A Bicycle Built For Two, Photo by Amber Wilkie Photography 15. Via Rad + In Love, Photo by Rad + In Love 16. Via Miki Vargas Photography, Photo by Miki Vargas Photography

The amazing thing about deciding what to wear for your big gay wedding is that there are no rules; sure, some of us will go the more traditional route, but we might as well have fun with it! Most of the couples featured here feature a femme partner—I love anything that sparkles and I wore a cocktail length bridesmaid dress (ordered in white) to my wedding along with some super cute sparkly shoes—but obviously any of these looks could be paired together for two brides in suits (or suit alternatives). (Apologies to all of the “we are both going to wear wedding dresses” folks out there, but I’m just focusing on masculine of center/femme partners in this piece.)

I hope that this collection of images inspires you to push the boundaries of your big gay wedding and take heart knowing that as marriage equality continues to spread across the country, we’ll be able to share more and more images of real LGBTQ weddings! I love seeing how sophisticated folks have become with their clothing options—and please don’t ever ask which one of us is the bride!

And now, some shopping for your wedding day outfit. Because as evidenced above, it’s obviously all about the accessories:

Black & White: 1. Modcloth Sparkle and Dine Flat in Evening ($36.99) 2. Asos New Velvet Bow Tie ($13.34) 3. Ampersand Handkerchief, from Cyberoptix Tie Lab ($12) 4. Alexander McQueen Floral Print Tie ($195) 5. Simon Carter Wing Tie Bar ($47.64)

Nature & Neutrals: 1. Express Metallic Brogue ($49.90) 2. River Island Tie with All Over Floral Print ($22.86) 3. Paul Smith Animal Pocket Square ($76.22) 4. Zelma Rose Personalized Good Luck Horseshoe Bow Tie ($85) 5. Silver Deer Antler Collar Clip, via Etsy ($15)

Summer Brights: 1. Paul Smith Foster Captoe Kiltie Monkstrap, from Zappos ($332.99) 2. Geometric Silk Pocket Square, from Nordstrom ($39.50) 3. Easy Reader Multi Color Marker Watch ($65) 4. 2-Panel Neon Stripe Bow Tie, from Vineyard Vines ($55) 5. OMG Cuff Links, from Saks Fifth Avenue ($250)

Didn’t get your fix of awesome queer wedding style from this post? We put all of the pictures Sarah found that didn’t make it into the roundup right here in our Queer Wedding Style Pinterest board.

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