I’ve always been terrible at describing my husband, David, in print. I get it so wrong that when Maddie met David, she told me she was half expecting one of the yuppie kids from Pretty In Pink to show up (he does appreciate well-made clothing). Thankfully, she couldn’t have been further from the truth, and he’s now one of her favorite people in the world—somewhere well after our sass-pot of a child. It’s sort of embarrassing, as a writer, to not be able to get your husband down on paper, but maybe it’s better that way. He prefers to be an enigma, and he really prefers to be nothing but a two-dimensional character on APW. Fair enough, I guess. However, today I’m going to try to do him justice in the form of a gift roundup.
This is for my husband, who loves jokes so over the line they make me gasp, expensive whisky, cheap dive bars, drag queens (I can’t explain this; it’s possibly a professional theatre kid thing), fancy electronics, serious cooking, and, most recently, being a dad.
TOP PHOTO Whisky, because that’s an every-time present. Aberlour A’Bunadh, aged in sherry casks, happens to be a household favorite ($66.99), and Linkwood Twelve Year Old—Flora and Fauna, because we bought it on our honeymoon in Scotland, and our bottle is now empty. ($86.30)
ONE An iPhone case Hemingway would love. Last year, when money was really tight, I scrimped and saved to get David this. It was the hit of the year. (€54.00, worth shipping from The Netherlands)
TWO Shun Classic Asian Chef’s Knife, because after me and the baby, he’d probably grab his knives next, in case of a fire. ($134.95)
THREE Zadie Smith’s Changing My Mind because she’s his favorite author, and her writing is like music. ($15.30)
FOUR Hedwig and the Angry Inch tickets, on Broadway with Neal Patrick Harris. Because it’s his favorite musical of all time, and he’s devastated that we probably won’t see it. (Starts at $47)
FIVE Some slim fit shirts from Charles Tyrwhitt, and while we’re at it, some ties (a mix of bright color and classic, obvs). If you’ve ever been to London, you will have noticed that the men dress better. It’s not magic, it’s clothes that effing fit. These English shirts make him look like a banker in The City (in a hot way). ($69)
SIX Google Chromecast, for streaming all the wonder of the internet onto the TV. ($35)
Seven A family session with an APW sponsor (I’m not going to lie, we’ve indulged in SEVERAL this year, they usually give you a few hours of time and a ton of breathtaking images for something like $300, and it feels criminal), and then a photo of him and the baby in a frame for his desk at work.
EIGHT Tickets to London, because it’s his favorite place, and that’s all he ever wants.
Nine NYC Taxi Drivers Calendar, 2014. Your move, David. ($14.99)
And date night. Always date night.