Masculine of Center Wedding Attire Roundup

Because femmes shouldn’t be the only ones looking hot AF!

Author on wedding day, wearing a suit jacket and boutonnière Rejoice, my friends, for wedding season is upon us! And that means it’s time to go shopping. But for all my Masculine of Center* comrades out there, now is also the time to start panicking. (*Masculine of Center is an inclusive term for queer/lesbian folks who fall on the masculine end of the spectrum, originally used by B. Cole, founder of the Brown Boi Project.) Are you afraid that tux rental going to make you look like you’re wearing your dad’s suit? Are you staying up at night, asking yourself whether the shirt you just bought is flattering or makes you look like you’re wearing pajamas?

Don’t worry, I’ve got your back. I’ve rounded up some outfits and pieces of outfits to help you get through the next few months. Whether you’re standing at the altar, heading to your shower, or poppin’ bottles at your engagement party, one of the outfits below should work for you. As a bonus, I’ve thrown in a couple options if you’re not the one getting married, but are attending a wedding as a guest. (As a second bonus, here’s some tomboy flower girls that remind us clothing has no gender.)

Embroidery inside jacket, which reads: Fancy Suit, 2pts to Wedding Day CharismaNow listen up. Before we get started with some bomb clothes for you to look your best, there’s a rule we must all commit to memory and abide by: The tailor is your friend. Don’t dissuade yourself from buying the perfect pants that will make you look sharp AF because they’re forty miles too long (WHY CAN’T INSEAMS BE TWENTY-EIGHT INCHES ON THE REG???). Get that ish hemmed, get your shirts taken in, and DEFINITELY get your jacket sleeves shortened. Trust me. Your future self (and your future wedding album) will thank you.

Pro tip: As the name suggests, men’s shirts are tailored to fit men. And that means there isn’t appropriate room for bigger chests. But it doesn’t have to be this way! The women’s section can be a treasure trove for plain dress shirts that don’t look too girly. Check out the Stretch Perfect Shirt from J.Crew or the Riley-Fit Tailored Solid Shirt from Banana Republic, for example. If you’re set on a men’s shirt, though, and you don’t want to deal with the dreaded button-down shirt boob gap, you have options. I’ve found that wearing a binder, like these from gc2b, helps smooth things out and make my shirts fit better. It’s like Spanx for your chest. And they even come in a range of flesh tones, so it won’t show under a thin white shirt.

So without further ado, let’s get you dressed:

Masculine of center ENGAGEMENT PARTY

So you got engaged, CONGRATS, and you’re thinking, “Okay sweet, I just have to prepare for one BIG day, and that’s like, ten months away, so I can coast for a few weeks before I start my research.” WRONG! Getting married is about having eighty million parties celebrating you and your partner leading up to the actual day, where everyone also celebrates you and your partner. It’s literally a year of celebrating. And that starts with the engagement party. 

Engagement Look 1

Shirt: Daily Grind Limited Edition from BonobosPants: Stone Twill Ultra Skinny Fit Dress Pants from TopmanShoes: dark blue loafers from H&M

Get the party started with the Daily Grind Limited Edition from Bonobos. Together with a classic pair of chinos, like the Stone Twill Ultra Skinny Fit Dress Pants from Topman, and these dark blue loafers from H&M, you’ll be ready to kick of your wedding celebration year in style.

Engagement Look 2

Pants: Black and White Check Ultra Skinny Fit Cropped Dress Pants Sweater: Mode Merino V-Neck Jumper from AllSaints Also check out these Black and White Check Ultra Skinny Fit Cropped Dress Pants from Topman with the Mode Merino V-Neck Jumper from AllSaints. This look says that you’re business up top, but you’re all party down below.


If you thought that showers were for “girls,” you’re mistaken, my friend. More and more couples are doing joint showers, and that means you need to look fly for a daytime event. But don’t sweat it. You can have some fun here, too.

Shower Look 1

Shirt: Fred Perry Slim Fit Twin Tipped Polo Shirt from ASOS Masculine of center queer POC in Daisy Button Up and maroon pants Pants: Archie Pant

You can’t go wrong with a classic polo, like this Fred Perry Slim Fit Twin Tipped Polo Shirt from ASOS. A short-sleeve button up, like the Daisy Button Up from Wildfang, will also do the trick. Pair either the polo or the button-up with the Archie Pant, also from Wildfang.


WD-NY Black Pink and Green Floral BlazerASOS Slim Chino Shorts Comme des Garçons Play Crewneck T-shirtSperry Gold Cup boat shoes

I’m currently drooling over the WD-NY Black Pink and Green Floral Blazer from Target. Throw this together with some white shorts and t-shirt, like the ASOS Slim Chino Shorts and the Comme des Garçons Play Crewneck T-shirt, and these Sperry Gold Cup boat shoes from Nordstrom, and you’ll be all set to open those gifts and drink those mimosas.


If you’re old enough to get married, you’re old enough to own at least one good suit. (If you have the budget, two good suits is even more ideal—one for fall/winter and one for spring/summer. But I’ll save that for another post.) And since this is probably one of the most important days of your life, it’s okay to splurge a little. I’ve rounded up two looks for you, but there’s also plenty of Masculine of Center wedding inspiration in our archives (like this one, this one, or even this gem.)

Wedding look 1ASOS slim navy suit with double-breasted vestqueer Masculine of center person in black suitAnnapolis Black Tomboy shirt from Haute ButchASOS white sateen shirt

You can’t go wrong with a light wool suit, like this slim navy number from ASOS. You can skip the vest and get the pants hemmed a little shorter for a cropped look if you want it to feel more modern. If you want to stick with traditional, go with dark gray or black, like the Davis blazer and Ansari pants combo from Wildfang. Go with a black shirt to keep it svelte—like this amazing Annapolis Black Tomboy shirt from Haute Butch—or add some color for a lighter flare. And if you want to keep it classic, this white sateen shirt from ASOS will make you feel like James Bond.

wedding look 2

Heart & Dagger blazer from ASOS paired with shorts Heart & Dagger blazer from ASOS paired with pantsASOS Slim Sateen Shirt with Wing Collar And Contrast Buttons

But hey, this is your wedding. You do you. It’s okay for you to get a little crazy. If you’re a summer wedding kind of couple, this Heart & Dagger blazer from ASOS paired with shorts is A+ (get the pants, too, so it’s like two suits in one!). This ASOS Slim Sateen Shirt with Wing Collar And Contrast Buttons is a perfect way to round out the look. The collar dresses it up a little more, especially if you go with shorts.

wedding Shirts & Accessories

Speckle button up shirt from Wild FangFlower Perfect Pocket Square from NordstromNavy Floral Print Tie from Topman

And, if you want to get crazy but not TOO crazy, you can always wear a patterned shirt like the Speckle button up from Wild Fang, add a pocket square for a hint of color (check out the Perfect Pocket Square from Nordstrom), or go with a fun tie, like this Navy Floral Print Tie from Topman.

DesignB London Stag Lapel Pin In Rose Gold from ASOSNixon The Sentry Watch from NordstromAccessories don’t have to be limited to ties and pocket squares. The DesignB London Stag Lapel Pin In Rose Gold from ASOS will definitely be a conversation starter. Complement your look with an elegant timepiece, like this Nixon The Sentry Watch from Nordstrom.

Shoes: Downtown Dappers from Tomboy Toes

Don’t cheap out on the shoes, either. The last thing you need on your wedding day is a blister to ruin your honeymoon. The Downtown Dappers from Tomboy Toes will round out your outfit without breaking the bank. And they have sizes as small as 34, for those tinier feet.


As a guest, your main job is to show up and have fun supporting your friends, while looking fly and feeling your best. And you don’t have to drop a ton of benjamins to do that.

Guest look 1

linen blazer and pants from H&Mred skull socks from Stance

A daytime wedding calls for lighter fabrics. This linen blazer and pants combo from H&M can be paired with a slim black tie and white shirt, or shirt with no tie, if you’re feeling more casual. And for a subtle way to introduce some color, how cool are these red skull socks from Stance?

GUest look 2

Noose & Monkey Super Skinny Tux in Pink from ASOS Black Patent Tassel Loafers from Topman

If you get invited to a black tie event, don’t panic—and don’t think that your only option is to rent a tux. You can find some great options for less than $300, like this Noose & Monkey Super Skinny Tux in Pink from ASOS. Add a white or black shirt, no socks, black shoes—like these Black Patent Tassel Loafers from Topman—and you’ll be good to go. Who says only femmes wear pink? (I love this look for getting married in, too.)

So now you have some great outfit ideas in your arsenal to make sure you look hot as hell when you show up for the party, whether it’s for you or someone you love. Don’t forget sweet details like monogramed pocket squares, cool lapel pins, or adding custom embroidery inside your suit. Also keep in mind that your suit doesn’t have to be put out to pasture once the celebrations are over. Refresh your digs with a new shirt or socks, and you’ll look as good as new the next fancy event you’re invited to.

What do you or your masculine of center partner plan to wear for weddings or other events? Show us your pics in the comments!

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  • penguin

    The tomboy flower girl outfits link doesn’t load anything for me – the page comes up with the title, but there are no pictures and no text. Anyone else seeing something similar?

  • Jess

    This post is making my steal my brothers clothes out of the donation pile, cargo short, short sleeve button down, chuck taylor wearing inner-16 year-old self so happy.

    • Jessica

      I was lucky in that my mom saw the ultra-low-rise jean trend for what it was (terrible) and would buy me guy pants from American Eagle. There were SO MANY POCKETS!

      I didn’t look fly as hell, but it was the beginning of “clothing should not have gender” for me.

      • Jess

        I had so many guy’s section jeans and khakis from the ultra-low-rise era. I still buy men’s t-shirts because they aren’t so see thru.

        So glad my mom supported those style choices, even if everyone at school didn’t quite get it.

        • Jessica

          My mom had been forced into dresses when all she wanted was jeans and her brothers’ tshirts. I’m so glad I didn’t have to go through that, and came out the other end with an appreciation of wearing what makes me feel comfortable being the best choice for me.

          (Also, why were the ultra-low-rise years paired with the Peasant Top years??? It was so bad! There were no other options!)

          And no, the other kids and adults did not get it. It turned out OK though.

        • NotMotherTheresa

          I was able to ride out many trends in women’s pants, but for me, this is the dark era! I was fine in low-rise. I was fine in high waisted. The thing I’m not fine in? Lycra. If I wanted pants that hugged my every curve, I’d put on some yoga pants!

          Men’s Levi’s 501s? Yes please! They’re perfect with all of my non-see thru, lycra free men’s T-shirts! (Because seriously, why do clothing manufacturers think I want to show off my body?!?! I love my body. I love myself. I’m comfortable with my body. I’m comfortable with other people showing off their curves and lumps and bumps and pooches if that’s what makes them feel good. But personally? I want my weird bits covered up, and men’s clothes are the MVPs of covering stuff up!)

          • Jess

            I’m gonna go try to find those. I struggle with men’s pants now, because my butt is rather rounded, but maybe those will have a shot!

            I dress more on the structured/basic center-gender side of things on the regular but pants and I are a constant struggle.

          • NotMotherTheresa

            To be fair, I don’t really have a butt or hips…I’m basically built like a sixth grade boy. But if you can get them to work, I personally love them. In addition to being a reprieve from stretchy everything, they’re just so classic–there’s nothing tapered or flared or loose or baggy or anything else that can go out of style, so there’s no risk of getting caught in a 2005 time warp! (A constant fear of mine, since my other source of non-stretch denim used to be consignment stores and their selection of pre-lycra women’s jeans.)

      • Fushigidane

        My solution was also to take my brothers’ old clothes. My mom’s solution was to get me mom jeans. Besides the old lady cut, it made me have weird pieces of fabric sticking out at the hips since my hips hadn’t expanded yet.

      • Laura C

        Ha. I couldn’t wear women’s pants UNTIL lower-rise jeans came in. Not that I’ve ever gone ultra-low-rise, but I am way too tactile-defensive to have pants that go over my belly button. In the mid 90s, all those women’s pants up to the rib cage just made me crazy and I wore men’s pants. Women’s rises went lower, I switched.

        • Jessica

          This is just making me grateful that there are rises of all sorts available right now–pretty sure it’s the magic of the internet that is showing stores you can have more than just one trend and some demographic will buy it!

        • quiet000001

          Me too. I cannot do the natural waist rise or whatever it is called, nope.

  • Laura C

    I feel like the wedding in the post yesterday was already like a tutorial on how amazing a suit can and should look.

    • Lolz. AGREED. Does your suit look this good? No? Cool you have ways to go then ;)

  • lady brett

    it took about 10 years, but my masculine, genderqueer, fat spouse has almost a whole wardrobe of sexy, flattering clothes that they often feel good in! so this seemed a place to share, in case anyone else is looking.

    The Bonobos chinos fit really well, hips and all (though we need to get them hemmed at the shortest length).
    Old Navy currently carries men’s jeans with a bit of stretch, which also accommodate hips (and shapes in general) well.
    Chaps Polo’s are the first we’ve found that really seem made for their body shape (stomach and chest without having to size up to baggy neck and arms).
    button downs just suck, though :) they have some custom tailored ones that are better, but still not great.

    • EF

      i’m really glad you commented, lady brett. your honey’s experience with bonobos chinos will probably push me to finally buy a pair. i’m not exactly curvy OR fat but not exactly thin either, just enough that straight up mens pants fit dreadfully. here’s hoping!

  • Rebekah

    I’m a pear-shaped cis het feminine woman and I still want to wear a lot of things here. Stellar roundup.

  • quiet000001

    I wish it was easier to find photos of people rocking suits when they have large breasts other than all those celebrity “look, I’m not wearing a shirt under this jacket” type photos. I shouldn’t have to strap them flat to rock some masculine clothing, but I find it hard to find inspiration.

    (Note that if you feel better presented as yourself if you use a binder, you do you. I don’t like the way I look in one, it doesn’t feel right to me. I have a complicated relationship with my boobs.)

    Also, for larger boobed folk who want a button down shirt that fits, try Bravissimo – their selection does vary season to season, so sometimes the only button down shirts they have have more feminine details like ruffles along the button placket, but I have gotten a couple of dress shirts from them in the past that are basically styled like a traditional men’s shirt but with princess seams (hidden by a vest or suit jacket) that make it fit over the breasts better so it doesn’t gap at the buttons.

    • lady brett

      thanks for the recommendation – button downs are so hard to find.

      • quiet000001

        There’s a couple other specialist companies too but one of them just closed and I can’t remember the names. It’s definitely a market that needs more attention. And I keep telling Bravissimo that they need to have ‘classic’ pieces like a crisp white unfoofy button down available year-round, but that doesn’t fit their production run style or something, I dunno. Other people have made the same comment and not gotten a useful response.

    • emilyg25

      I only buy three-button blazers. Two buttons is just not enough.

  • Lexipedia

    As a cis-het woman who wears a lot of shirts for work I have discovered the joy of the hidden snap between the buttons at the boob-area. If you don’t want to wear a binder, or are femme with a chest of any kind, sew a clear snap between the buttons on any part of the front area that gapes. It’s a game changer and you can’t see it from the outside.

  • Love all of these! That pink tux is the things dreams are made of <3

    Anyone here have experience or any knowledge of a place that does custom vests? Something the same style as wedding look 1, but perhaps a little…jazzier? Been looking like crazy with no luck at all.

    • quiet000001

      If you’re talking really jazzy, like sequins or similar, I’d try looking for a local seamstress who does ice skating and dance costumes. A vest isn’t a complicated shape compared to their usual, and they should have plenty of experience with odd fabrics and embellishments.

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  • EF


    and thank you so much for including guest attire – with weddings coming up i’ve been super stressed about what to wear to them, and this helps so much. thanks thanks thanks

  • gentle concerned nonbinary

    Note that’s probably too late to make a difference, since this post is a month old: if you decide to wear a binder, such as the gc2b one recommended here, don’t wear it for more than eight hours– you’ll risk damaging your ribs, and that’s not fun. I love gc2b, am literally wearing one of their binders right now, but as with anything that’s meant to compress, binders crush everything inwards and that includes the cartilage that connects your ribs to your sternum. Be safe, look hot.