Posts Tagged ‘The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Dress’

Jan 2012

Sisterhood of the Dress VI – Dress Worn!

Long time readers know about one of APW’s pet projects: The Sisterhood of the Traveling Dress. This project started years ago when there were far fewer of us hanging around these parts, and it involved readers passing dresses, one to the other. It was one of my very favorite things in APW-land, but like all good things, it eventually needed to wind to a close. A few dresses were shared and loved, but far more often the idea of sharing a dress was more powerful than the difficult reality of sharing a dress, and tears were shed. So, to bring the series home, I’m honored to bring you Rachel and Jenn (whose new paper venture is over here), talking about the dress they shared, and loved. And just a warning. This one might not be safe for work. I cried when I least expected to…

Jenn: APW and The Sisterhood changed my life and shaped my wedding. And I stumbled across it by accident, after a small misunderstanding with my photographer.

I found my photographer (sponsor Jenn Link) on another wedding website. When I emailed to contact her, she thought I had said I found her on APW, and offered me the APW special price for that year. Because this was better than my wildest dreams, I decided to take a gander at this website she mentioned, so that I could honestly say I had seen her over there too… and the rest is history for me.

I read the whole archives that first weekend, and it was just like a cartoon lightbulb came on over my head. I think many people here feel the same way, but across the ocean in London, feeling alone and swamped by how much everything would cost (and yet could still look tacky) APW felt like a shining beacon cutting through the fog of WIC bullsh*t. I finally experienced the delicious freedom to let go of everything the WIC wanted to sell me, but I knew I didn’t need.

The first week after I started reading, Meg ran a post on venue chairs, and why it seemed to be one thing sensible women were still willing to spend money to upgrade, despite the obvious unimportance. When I left a comment about how much I hated my venue’s pepto pink chairs, but didn’t know my sensible side could bring myself to rent new ones, Liz left a comment telling me she was happy for me to borrow the chair covers she had bought for her wedding. And then a few weeks after that, Rachel’s post arrived, giving away her dress.

I put myself forward after a long debate, with both myself and my friends/family. I wondered if I would regret not having the experience of “finding the one” with my mom, surrounded by loving bridesmaids, I wondered if I would regret that it was only about 50% like what I had envisioned wearing, I wondered if it was the right size, I wondered if it would even look good on me… there were a lot of doubts. But the buttons—they were just so beautiful! Rachel looked graceful and elegant wearing it, but not in a fussy way, which is how I wanted to be. And also, she partied hard in it, and it was still standing. So I decided to go for it—what was the worst that could happen?

A few months later when I moved back to DC from London, I met with Rachel (and also Sarah) for the hand-off. We had a few beers, got to know each other a tiny bit, and took some immortal Polaroids (with Rachel’s actual Polaroid camera, not just an iPhone app) where I have my eyes closed. Once I got the dress home though…I put it on, with great difficulty, and knew I could not wear it in that form. It barely fit me—I felt like a little sausage in a casing, and could definitely not breathe. I really didn’t like the bows on the front and back, as I felt like they didn’t suit me, and I wondered if I would get to a point where I actually liked the dress, or could sit down while wearing it.

Continue reading Sisterhood of the Dress VI – Dress Worn!

Posted in: Bridal Brigade, Team Practical | 44 Comments »

Jan 2012

Wedding Graduates: Jenn & Brandon

*Jenn, Architect/Stationer & Brandon, Data Technician*

Today’s wedding graduate post encompasses a single, and hard to accept fact about our weddings: we can’t control how we’re going to feel, either during them, or after them. Maybe we’ll show up and be swept away by radiant joy, maybe things will feel gritty and raw, maybe it will just be a fun party. But today Jenn, she of The Sisterhood of the Traveling Dress (who now has a hot new stationery shop), talks about coming to terms with not adoring (but liking) her wedding after the fact. (And yeah, you know it, this afternoon she’s talking about the dress.)

There have been a number of wedding graduates who have spoken before about not loving their weddings. This post is only half like that—I loved my wedding, and yet, here I am five months out, in post-wedding limbo. I’m somewhere between remembering my wedding with joy and fondness, and still caught up in planning and what might-have-been. I imagine there are a tons of recent brides out there like me, not certain how to feel about the day of the wedding.

When I was planning, I was planning. A little intense, yes, but doing otherwise wouldn’t have been very me. This is one thing I am at peace with about myself—making things, and then making them complicated appears to be a central tenet of my personality. I threw myself into wedding planning and DIY/DITing with intensity.

I collected blue and white china vases at thrift stores so I could do my own flowers. When I couldn’t find enough one weekend, I decided I would buy some porcelain paint and create my own. The vases were totally worth it—my relatives loved that they got a tangible, useful item to take home with them, and they love that I made a bunch of them myself.

You may have read my post about making your own letterpress. I went on to make the rest of the paper goods for the wedding, and a guestbook/scrapbook collection of our old photos.

I became obsessed with the idea of a photobooth wall that people could stick their faces through, and then I became even more obsessed with the problem of transporting it to and from my venue.

My biggest DIY failure (notice I didn’t say only failure) were these huge urns I had bought to be an altar backdrop. I painstakingly spray painted branches to stick into them like trees, then made little hanging votives for them and bought LED candles. I thought they would be so cool… except once inside the niches of my venue, they were so small as to be laughable. On any other day I think this would have really bothered me—on the day of the wedding, I giggled to myself, and moved on.

I felt amazing on the day of the wedding. There was no one thunderbolt moment, but I was happy, and Brandon and I got married with as many of our nearest and dearest who could make it in attendance.

Things progressed smoothly, if not flawlessly. Even though I had guests dropping out at the last minute and stage manager/sisterhood-member extraordinaire Rachel had to dash around changing place cards, no one got confused finding their seats. Even though the Reverend had messed something up every time we rehearsed the ceremony, on the day of when it mattered, he got it perfect.**

Despite the fact that my caterer had been duped into buying some bad seafood and had to swap it out last minute for other things to put in the pasta, all the guests enjoyed the food. People were having trouble using the remote and camera I had set up for the photo-wall, but were taking it into their own hands and we got some great photos anyway. The dance floor wasn’t packed, but that gave the rest of us more room to move.

So when people asked me how the wedding was after I got back from the honeymoon, it was really upsetting to me to find that my typical response was, “I think it was ok.” I had a great time, and I got married. To a man I love. Nothing went wrong. I spent the better part of a year and a half crafting every meticulous detail I could think of. And it all seemed to go beautifully. Why didn’t I feel more positively about the wedding?

Continue reading Wedding Graduates: Jenn & Brandon

Posted in: Wedding Graduates | 43 Comments »

Jun 2011

Dress, Given XIII

It’s time for one of the best parts of APW…. passing on a Sisterhood of the Traveling Dress to a brand new bride. I’m delighted that Megan is passing her quirky, lovely, dress to CJM. I think you’ll agree it’s going to the perfect new home. CJM said:

I am in love with this dress… and all the reasons you bought it and loved it. I am a 5′4″, 34DD dirt-poor medical student. Along with my amazing fiancee, I am trying to plan and finance a wedding that is as casual and laid-back as we are, but will still be a rockin’ good time for the many, many loved ones we are blessed to have in our lives. It’s totally stressful! Like you, I love imagining all the little details of just about everything… everything BUT my dress. I don’t have a vision in mind, I have never had a “dream dress” to go after… but yours. is. absolutely. gorgeous. And I would be over the moon not to have to shop for one myself.

So CJM, email me! We’ll put you in touch with Megan and make the magic happen. And we can’t wait to see you in the dress as a wedding graduate (pretty please?). All of Team Practical wishes you a wedding that’s a living eulogy, and a party that’s a lovely afterglow, and an amazing, brave marriage.

Posted in: Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

Jun 2011

Dress, Offered XIII

We haven’t been doing very many Sisterhood of The Traveling Dress giveaways of late, because honestly, the logistics have gotten difficult. But somehow we just KNEW that we had to help Megan pass on her quirky and fabulous size eight dress. It isn’t the most expensive wedding dress in the world, but damn if it might not be one of the most beautiful. So, if you want to bask in the afterglow with Megan’s dress, leave a comment.

The rules are the same as always: Leave a comment about why you’d like to receive the dress. Megan will select the recipient (with occasional lobbying from me… as hard as I try not to). The recipient pays for shipping, and promises to send Megan a picture of them wearing it, full of joy. Hopefully the recipient will come back as a wedding graduate too, but that’s encouraged, not required. Beyond that, remember, if you receive a dress from a wedding grad, they automatically become a small part of your bridal brigade. Keep them in the loop, send them a love note or two. Because suddenly, they are now invested in your wedding. With all that, here we go:

When “pre-engaged” I spent a lazy summer afternoon by the riverside fantasizing with a friend about our future weddings. After I had described the imagined location, guest list, ceremony, menu, music, assorted activities, flowers, and general ambiance she asked, “What about your dress?” and I drew a blank.

I was not looking forward to wedding dress shopping. It was difficult to imagine finding a dress I would wear only once and yet love enough to justify spending hundreds of dollars on. It wasn’t my priority and yet I did want to look beautiful. When I thought about wedding day beauty though, I realized that, as trite as it sounds, what really makes people look beautiful on their wedding day is the joy they exude and how comfortable they are with one another and with the whole celebration. Of course an outfit can enhance or detract from your sense of comfort, so comfort became my number one priority. For me comfort meant:

Not strapless. I am busty (32DD) and have only once been able to pull off a strapless dress without frequent adjustments
Minimal bling
No corset (or spanks!) required
Accommodate eating breathing, dancing, and laughing with ease
Require no assistance to use the restroom
Not make me blush when I had to admit how much I’d paid for it (ie. less, waaaay less, than $1000)

I took these simple priorities to a typical bridal salon and was met with quizzical looks. Continue reading Dress, Offered XIII

Posted in: Uncategorized | 28 Comments »

Mar 2011

Dress, Given XII

After this morning’s post, I thought we all could use a really direct example of spreading love around the world, and how our interconnectedness is a beautiful thing. So I’m delighted to pass on Drea’s beutiful, last minute dress to Andee. Drea asked us how to choose a recipient, and we said to follow her gut, and she did. I think you’ll agree she picked exactly the right person.

Hi Drea and all the APW Readers!
I would LOVE to be considered for this dress. I’m in a bit of a dress mess if you will. I can’t fathom spending anything more than $150 on a dress I will wear only once. I also want a short dress because we are getting married outside on a mountain side. I don’t wear long dresses in my everyday life and I’m not fuffy. We are going for a vintage feel, and this dress felt very vintagy. I previously purchased a dress for $30, and called it good. I’ve lost some weight and I can’t get it to fit properly now and I’m debating how much do I struggle at fixing it before I just look for something else. Also my Mom saw the dress for the first time this weekend, and she hated it. She didn’t say she hated it but I could tell. More to the point I broke down in a hardware store while getting parts to fix my toilet with my fiance. He comforted me and held me while I cried in the hardware store because my Mom didn’t like my wedding dress. This is hands down my favorite memory from wedding planning so far. My fiance is so kind and generous that I realized it doesn’t matter one bit what I wear. So if this dress needs a home where it will be appreciated but not idolized – I’m your girl! I would of course pass the dress along after I wear it! Congrats on your baby!

So Andee, email me! We’ll put you in touch with Drea and make the magic happen. And we can’t wait to see you in the dress as a wedding graduate (pretty please?)

And one final note: Anne’s dress didn’t find a home on APW, so she’s donating it to Brides Against Breast Cancer. The Sisterhood of the Traveling Dress takes many forms, all of them wonderful.

Posted in: Uncategorized | 9 Comments »

Mar 2011

Dress, Offered XII

So you guys know Drea, right? She writes at The Maiden Metallurgist, and she was a wedding grad years ago (God, I still love her wedding), and last summer wrote a really brave post about what she learned about her marriage when she learned she couldn’t get pregnant. And then she got pregnant. (See the theme today?) And she’s having a baby… now-ish. But first, she has one little piece of business to take care of. She needs to pass on her size 6 wedding dress. A wedding dress that I love, and that Drea loves, and is the sassiest dress ever. And I really want it to find a good home. So if that home is you, leave a comment as to why you’d like it, and Drea will pick. The usual rules apply.

I have been a big fan of A Practical Wedding since 2008 when I was planning my own wedding. I found it one night when I was frustrated with all the typical wedding websites and started googling “different weddings,” “budget weddings,” “nontraditional weddings,” and finally “practical weddings.” It was such a boon to find some like-minded people talking about weddings in a different way- being honest about how maybe the tablecloths and the favors and the flowers don’t matter; the marriage matters. It was this value, found here at APW that kept me reading long after the wedding was over.

When Meg did her first dress giveaway, I was delighted, and I thought how much I’d love to give my dress away. Then little voices in my brain started saying things like “but it’s your wedding dress” and “it is pretty casual, you can wear it again, in fact I’m sure you will” and finally “I doubt anyone would want it anyway.” The thing is, it was my wedding dress, it was so fun and pretty and so unlike anything I can ever imagine wearing anywhere else. The only places my husband and I go where I would even get this dressed up are other people’s weddings and how gauche would it be to wear your wedding dress to another wedding? I cringe just thinking about that. Also, shouldn’t I let someone else decide if they want it or not? I wanted it, I loved it. I still do. Maybe someone else will love it too.

So I decided to give it away here on APW, but then… well I never pulled the trigger. Wedding dresses are just things, but they are sentimental things and as such, hard to let go of. This dress has been cleaned and hanging in the guest room closet for over two years. Truth be told, for a while I forgot all about it. Until…

Well, despite being told that we couldn’t, we’re having a baby. Soon. We are moving stuff around and cleaning out closets and there it still is, hanging useless. It is funny, I feel like I have everything I could ever ask for and suddenly that pretty dress is just that. A pretty dress. One that is doing me no good hanging in the closet. I’m never going to wear it again. So after 25 months, I discovered I was ready to pull the trigger.

Now let me tell you about my dress. Continue reading Dress, Offered XII

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